Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

[Doggygirl]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Hi WIP! Good to see you and congrats on your upcoming one year anniversary!

I do not want to get into the fray of debate other than to make one point of clarification going back to an early post about AA. Beatle I might have misunderstood and if I did - my apologies. My understanding of AA as a person now actively involved in it suggests it is NOT a program of will power. In fact, just the opposite. AA suggests that the alcoholic cannot control alcohol on will power alone. One can agree or disagree with the spiritual nature of the program which I don't care to debate (and am not qualified to debate). But Beatle AA I think is in line with your thinking that will power alone does not cut it. (Although I suspect you may disagree with what AA recommends as far as what DOES cut it! )

DG

[Lila]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

hi Wip
So glad to hear from you! Thanks for checking in.
Sounds like you are creating new pathways, new habits? I don't drink sounds like a command to your brain. So many nights I have had my first glass JUST BECAUSE it was nighttime. And I wasn't even sure I wanted it! (from reading posts for awhile now, I seem to be a lighter drinker than many here, but unfortunately a persistant one!) I think it will be a long time before we know exactly how it all works out in our brain, it is a very very complex topic!
I have wondered about you, you sound like you are doing well!
Lila

[A Work in Progress]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Doggygirl, hey! I've missed you. Saw your posts and pics over in AF daily, looks like you are doing GREAT!

Ruby, give me a shout, email, anytime! And take care of yourself, OK?

Pamina, good for you! Yes, the whole world(s) of yoga and meditation can be incredibly confusing, diverse... PM me if you want, and I can tell you a bit about my own experience and viewpoint about this.

Sunbeam, and Brett: YES, you are quite correct about what I was saying about "controlling your thoughts." We cannot control the arising of our various thoughts, but we can make decisions about whether or not to entertain or pursue the thoughts. Meditation helps tremendously with this; in fact some would say that meditation is primarily a form of attentional training, or learning how to choose wisely what we pay attention to. William James, years ago, offered the opinion that this kind of training would be of huge importance, if it existed (he didn't know much about meditation)... and, in fact, it does.

The arising of various thoughts, many of which are counterproductive, is outside our control, just as is the arising of impulses or desires (to drink, for example). But we can learn to deliberately, calmly, compassionately shift our attention away from these mental and emotional phenomena, and re-gain our pathway, if we (a) want to, and (b) have practiced doing so. This kind of practice changes the pathways in our brains, especially between the frontal lobes (where wise decisions are made) and the amygdala (where irrational impulses are born and cry out for attention).

Hey, Peacenik! I'm sad to hear things are not going so well for you. Do PM or email me anytime, if you want.

Hey Boozehag! How are you? I enjoyed your "take" on the "controlling thoughts" ideas. I think you have some good points, somewhat from a different angle than what I was going towards. The issue of "emotional mind" is closely connected to that whole issue of motivation, which is huge. Getting and maintaining sufficient drive, determination, and motivation to engage in the work of recovery is possibly the biggest question of all. For me, when I had one too many of my bad drinking episodes, and embarrassed myself... not for the first time... but on THAT particular occasion, I became, and remained determined to never go through that again. I have often said that if we could "bottle" that (determination, commitment, motivation) or put it in a tablet, then we would be 80% successful in having the problem solved...

Beatle, see above re: "controlling thoughts." Also for controlling "reactions" (which means... how we respond to the various insults and impulses that arise from the outside world, and our internal worlds): of course we can control them. This is what we teach children, isn't it?

And that brings us to "lacking in maturity." I think that most addicts and alcoholics have areas in their lives in which they have fully matured (areas in which they display good self-control); and yet there is that one area, the drug of choice, in which s/he grants herself a license to engage in immediate gratification. She tells herself she "needs" or "deserves" this drink or this drug. She gets support from friends and from the culture overall (advertising of alcohol, for example). She sees other people drinking "normally." She chooses not to engage in the kind of work that would allow her to detach from her very strong impulses and desires to have that drink. She believes she is unable to survive withdrawal or to resist "cravings." She puts herself in situations that trigger impulses to drink (based on her own drinking history). It is this area in which I see immaturity; I certainly displayed it, myself. Despite enormous self-control in a lot of areas of my life, I gave myself permission and license to drink to the point that it was hurting me, hurting friends, and endangering my life. I needed to get that area cleaned up. I needed to "grow up" about my attitudes and behavior and thinking, concerning alcohol.

[A Work in Progress]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Hey, Lila! Cross-posted! It's great to hear from you, and yes. That's exactly right. Creating new pathways, creating new habits, and new thinking. The old habits still live on within me, but they are weaker, and I pay much, much less attention to them!

[42cat]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Work in P ... Great to hear that you're doing well. I've been here a couple of years, but don't think I posted, or posted much, back when you were here .. but I do recognize your name.

Thank you so much for sharing. Being newly sober here, the things you posted about really help to solidify what I am doing with myself ... with regard to self-discipline and commitment, dealing with thoughts about alcohol, etc... And it was great to read that you rarely think about alcohol now.

Congratulations on turning your life into something happy and wonderful!

[LVT25]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Hello WIP!!! It is great to hear from you! I've also missed your input. It's nice to see a lively thread with polite debate. Stick around! :h

(You too, Beatle!!) :h

[A Work in Progress]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Hey, 42cat, glad to meet you, and very glad to hear you are strongly engaged in the work of recovery! Nurture your determination!

and hey, too, LVT! Great to hear from you. Thanks for the encouragement; I may check in from time to time.

[Lila]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Lacking in maturity, ha ha! That does make a lot of sense!
Now I am thinking about that very deep place of decision - it can be very powerful, and not just for stopping drinking. I go there sometimes, and it has enabled me to make huge changes in my life...takes a certain amount of discipline to get there. I wonder if anyone knows what I am talking about...I do wish I would go there more.
anyways - these are just my early morning thoughts - I have a lot on my plate right now, and a good, powerful mindset is what I am aiming for.

[DeeBee]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Wip!! What a wonderful surprise.
Wow, I can't believe that it's a year next week. That is an amazing acomplishment. A HUGE congrats.
I too often wonder about WW, she dissapeared so suddenly.

As always, your post(s) have got me thinking....

[FallenAngel]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

A warm hello to you WIP! It was great seeing an update from you...so glad that you are doing so well... you sound fantastic! I have always enjoyed your posts.... you helped so many here & shared a wealth of information, your contribution to this forum is second to none in my book. Your style & grace are greatly missed.

A Work in Progress;663728 wrote: Yes, it has been quite a year. I'd be pleased if the next year is just a little bit easier... we'll see!

Prepare yourself for a very blessed upcoming year!
My 2nd year of sobriety has been the best year that I can remember... it has been a year of feeling comfortable in my new sober lifestyle...taking on new challenges.... dismissing old ways of thinking that just don't fit any more... feeling content as well as energized

I can see that you are now striving to live at your full potential....what a wonderful gift you have given yourself... and to everyone that you touch with your positive life force.
Keep shining. :l

[Determinator]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

AWIP, soooo glad to hear from you, and tickled that you are continuing to do so well
xxxxxx

[A Work in Progress]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Det, you're a big sweetie (and of course a very tough guy, too!), and I've missed you! Hope that ankle heals up FAST.

Angel, great to hear from you, and thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words. And: GOOD FOR YOU... nearly 2 years of freedom from alcohol!

Deebs! I hope all's going well for you. Have missed you.

Lila, interesting comments. I think I see where you're going... perhaps it's about focus, or becoming determined to get and keep a focus on what is really important... does that sound like what you are talking about?

[LookingToGrow]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

I have missed your photos too!

[beatle]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

I went to bed last night (far too late!), so I missed all replies after my last post. I thought I was done with this thread and this discussion, but after reading all the responses, I just want to say how interesting I found them. For me, the gathering and expression of these varying perspectives, thoughts, analyses and experiences is the best and most important role the MWO boards play for me.

I have so many responses to the responses that I cannot put them all in words right now (I need to get back to work)... but I promise (threaten?) to do so later.

[beatle]

Progress Report (and Hello) from A Work In Progress

Oh, and Hi Fallen Angel!... so good to "see" you again. I've missed you (or have you been around and I just "missed" you?). Your attitude and posts are uplifting.

I agree WIP has made a significant contribution here, but I have to say that I would put several other members in the "Second to None" category. (No offense WIP).