Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

[Frenchman]

That may sound weird to some of you but I don't know what to do during my free hours of being sober. I quit drinking four days ago for the first time in my life, after 20 years of almost daily drinking. Life seems dull without alcohol, without spices nor excitement. What am I missing here? I remember the bad side of alcohol but I miss the good times too, honestly. I used to do everything while drinking. My cleaning, my garden work, my cooking and eating, watching movies, BBQs, now things seems to have lost their juice. I feel abnormal, sad to not enjoy what most everybody enjoys without alcohol. Some of you felt the same initially? Did it take you a while to adjust to your new life? Is it more boring now or do you actually enjoy things you did even better now?

[startingover]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

Hi there Keyners. Oh yes, that is a very familiar feeling. Its almost like losing your way?
I honestly felt my life would be over when I had to quit drinking. Yes, you are right, the buzz from drinking and drugging could be great. But when the downside started overtaking the upside, it was time to stop.
I decided to treat it like a transition period. I started doing a few things that I wouldnt have done while I was drinking, and see where it took me.
Life is different without alcohol, but for me, its more satisfying. I can actually make plans to travel, to change my career, to change the areas of my life I am not happy with. I am finding that exciting.
It did take a little time to get to that point tho, and you are at the very early stages of sobriety. So after a lifetime of drinking, its bound to take some time to see true benefits.
Well done on 4 days !! Thats a great start!

[Frenchman]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

Thank you. Yes, I am bored as hell and trying to come up with things to do. That was what I used to do a quarter of my life and of my day. Sit down and enjoy some nice drinks. I miss it. I am not going back to it because of all the negatives that came afterwards but I sure hope that I will find new hobbies to replace the drinking sessions that concluded my days during the past 20 years. I was looking forward to come home and chill with a nice glass in my hand. I will look at my new evenings in a few months and say that they are even better than these times hopefully...

[startingover]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

What about getting some exercise? I have started running and swimming again after years away. That has taken up a good few hours of my drinking time and has the added bonus of helping me to look and feel good about myself again.

[Frenchman]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

I workout an hour about 5 days per week. But sure, I could add some evening walks or something. Thanks. Perhaps I should even get a puppy and take him out on walks at night...

[startingover]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

I have 2 dogs and walk them morning and night. They are a huge commitment, so think really carefully before you take on a pet. But of course they are great company and will make you get out and about.

[startingover]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

What about studying something in the evenings too?

[Frenchman]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

That is a great idea. Thanks a lot!

[Popeye]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

Hi Keyners,

For a while, I was looking upon my abstainance as a punishment that I had given myself for my past bad behaviour, and that if I behaved myself for a while, I would one day be able to rejoin the ranks of normal people to whom alcohol is not a problem. I missed the rituals that I had in place for many years. I wanted the comfort of settling down in the evening, getting my special vodka glass out, hear the crack of the seal break then just drift off into nothingness. Then one day, I didn't. I think the addiction makes us feel that we're missing out. We still have the same chores to do and we can still do the same fun things aswell, just minus the drink, which for me often took the fun away in the end and left me desperate to be rid of it. I have changed the way I see alcohol, sometimes deliberately but mostly these changes came as realisations. It's not the friend that I thought it was. I don't need it to get through the night (or day). I still get bored but the thought of drinking myself into oblivion doesn't excite me anymore. These truths took a while to filter through and it's crystal clear now that drinking adds nothing for me to any experience. It had taken too much of me and made it sick. I'm getting better now and it's the best thing that I have ever done for myself. It's freed up a lot of time too. I'm getting stuck into my gardening at the weekends, which were my main drinking time.
When I moved here, around the time I quit drinking, my garden was a mess. I've cleared out all the rubbish and dug it over. For a while there was nothing but bare earth. It was so dull and empty, but it had all the ingredients of a beautiful and productive space. I have improved the soil and planted flowers that I think would make it pretty, and some vegetables that will feed and nourish me. I have to work at it to ensure that it doesn't fall back into wasteland, but I really enjoy it. People notice how much better it looks now that I'm taking care of it.
There's a parallel there.

[oliveoyl]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

What a beautiful post thanks Popeye!!!!
Olive oyl any spinach in that garden?

[Sunbeam]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

Like Popeye, my gardens have never been better. The interior of my house is also better than it has been in several years. I can find things I need, and have gotten rid of a lot of stuff. There are always things I need to do, both inside and out. I went AF in the winter and finished a quilt. As the alcohol haze lifts, real life can emerge if you keep working on it.

[cacky]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

Keyners, i think you have to retrain your brain. we all go through it. i think we spend so much time teaching ourselves that everything needs to have AL involved. you are doing great with your 4 days. live it and love it

[42cat]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

Hey there. I know exactly how you feel. It wasn't until I started to change up my routine a little that things started to fall into place and become "interesting". I still did the usual things (watch TV before bed, clean the house, etc.) but I added some other things ... an evening walk, the gym, hobbies (crafts for me), baking, gardening or indoor plants, drinking different teas. There are so many things to do to add to your day.

I like the puppy idea. ... If you have the time, money and possibly 15+ year commitment, they are wonderful companions and great 'excuses' for getting outdoors for walks in parks for walks or around the neighbourhood, throwing a ball or frisbee, etc. I have one doggie and am getting another soon .. and two kitties - but they don't let me walk them! LOL

[Frenchman]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

Thanks all. What do you think is a reasonable time for me to expect before I found my new life not as humiliating and boring but rewarding and better than it was? I realize that it is a state of mind that I can decide to be in right now, but realistically it does take time to change old sets of habits, patterns and behaviors. 6 months would be a reasonable expectation?

[42cat]

Bored not drinking, no excitement found yet.

I don't think it happens in the same time frame for everyone. I'm newly sober, so I can't really say right now. Interesting question!

I think a lot of it depends on your personal situation, etc. For me, it's happening little by little just about every day. I don't know if it will ever be "done" .. but maybe will just keep slowly morphing all the time. A lot of it for me definitely has to do with how I think and what I think about. I'm actively putting effort into stopping the bad or destructive thoughts and replacing them with good ones - even if I have to fake it a little bit for awhile. I'm also actively looking forward to things and creating new things to think about and do, and that helps.

Most of my thoughts, just about every minute of the day, used to be about alcohol. Either hating myself for it ... or thinking about the drink in my hand, its taste, the feeling of a buzz .. or thinking about the next one .. or hiding it .. or getting my stash ready for work .. or making sure I have enough money secretly set side ... or planning my sneaky trips to different liquor stores, etc. That's a LOT of thought space suddenly needing to be cleared out!

Mind-set is definitely a big deal for me. I must always remind myself of the positives. What I've done so far, what I am doing right now, and what I plan on doing. All good things, and not all necessarily alcohol-related. Just any good things. Even if I'm not necessarily "feeling good" about them at the moment, I still make sure I remind myself about them, all the time.

I don't think you can just "change" how you think all of a sudden ... (I have heard that it takes 21 days to change a habit, but that might just be an opinion I read somewhere) ... but I am finding that little by little, with effort and time, it does change. Hopefully sooner than six months, but maybe longer too. All that matters is that it's "happening" and it feels good.