Witchy, Devilish Hours

[GratefulEm]

This may have been a thread awhile back but I thought I'd pop it up again. Lush and I were talking about this problem in Absville. (I'm starting that journey today). Anyways, the hours from 4:00 to 8:00 seem to be like a big monkey that clings to our backs every day and the hardest to get through. When my psychiatrist asked me what part of this program would be the hardest for me I said, just making it from 4:00 to 8:00 each day. She said that that time of day seems universally difficult for humans. It's a low energy point. Often there's dinner to make, kids to attend to, pets, and all other kinds of household "stuff." Well, I don't have to remind anyone - you all live it every day. Point is, how do we get through it? Some people say they take up a hobby or walk. I know I'm going to have to use some real willpower. As RJ says, we can't just expect pills to do the job. I usually come home exhausted from a day of highschool teaching. There's the supper, lessons to plan, maybe a quiz to write, or papers to correct. So I'd sit at the computer with my beloved chardonnay. By glass 3 the world was looking better, I had a few typos on the quiz (which the kids quickly pointed out the next day), by glass 4 I'd decide to pay the bills tomorrow night and by glass 5, well, time to probably think about heading to bed.
This is the pattern that I'm determined NOT to repeat this year. School starts tomorrow. I've been finding success with the program - have had some great days but have also rationalized my way back to half a bottle of chardonnay (that's the bigger size), so I want to do abstinence for awhile.
JUST WONDERING IF WE COULD HAVE A "HEY I MADE IT THROUGH THE WITCHY HOURS" CHECK-IN FOR A COUPLE DAYS. I NEED THE ACCOUNTABILITY. DOES ANYONE ELSE OR SHOULD I JUST PUT UP A FANCY CHECKLIST ON MY FRIDGE? AND WE COULD SHARE HOW WE DID IT.
Thanks all Em

[YoungAtHeart]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Yep, them Witchy Hours!

Boy do I understand. I always had my glass of red wine by my side doing just about everything!!! I do spend a lot of time on the computer, too, and I would imagine you probably can't avoid spending time there at night, making up quizzes and all. For everything that you can do AWAY from the computer, do it in a new place, but another thing is to just tough it out!!! Drink something else that you enjoy drinking. It won't be easy at first, but you will get used to it over time, and you will enjoy a sense of accomplishment as you break the habit. I'm also getting used to sewing while sober, as well!:H

I just bought an expresso/cappucino machine so I can have a decaf cappucino at night while I'm on the computer. Yum! Also, people have bought the magic bullet blender to make smoothies and stuff like that, so there are all sorts of fun things that you can drink that can help distract you from the wine until you get used to it. I'm also very oral (used to smoke cigarettes too!), so I keep sugar free mints around, as well as nuts like almonds and pistachios, in case I get the munchies, so I can have a safe snack. Also there's a recipe in the recipe section for baked garbanzo beans that looks good.

Those hours after work are hard, because the booze, at least initially, gaves me a little "lift" that motivated me to make some dinner, get the cats fed, etc. But not that I'm not drinking, I find that I'm not as tired when I get home, so I don't need that lift!!! I didn't realize that I was creating my own exhaustion as much as I was before I stopped!

Anyway, I hope this helps, Em!

Hugs,
Kathy:l

[Newyear]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Hi Em-
I know exactly what you are talking about. Drinking wine seemed to make me feel better about evening chores. I would think - 'I don't really feel like doing laundry' but then I would tell myself that if I did it while drinking wine it might not be so bad.
I would think - 'ahhgh...don't wanna clean the kitchen or put up dishes' hmmm but if I did it with a glass of wine beside me on the counter maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
It was my motivation to get things done in the evening.
The problem was that although it might get me started on a project it would eventually inerfere with the project. After about 2 to 3 glasses of wine I was no longer motivated and preferred to watch House or something on tv. Then I would stay up too late and feel terrible in the morning....then need the wine the next night to motivate me all over again.
Does that sound about right?
I usually don't get home until around 6:30 or 7pm. But I would be happy to check in on you and see if you are making it thru the 4-8 'motivation' time.

How should we do that??
Lisa

[InnerStrength]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Wow Lisa you sound exactly like me - EXACTLY - I would get home about 6:30 - would not want to do the chores but of course that glass of wine would help "motivate" me - but then once I had some wine - all I wanted to do was watch tv - and then I would be up too late because I wanted to drink more wine - then I would be tired the next day and the whole thing started again!! I hear you!
Jen

[Newyear]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

It's funny how now matter how many times it turns out bad....it still seems like such a good idea at the time!

Now when I think that, (and I still do think that way), I have to give myself a reality check and say 'really lisa? is it really going to be fun?' Then I sigh and think 'no.....and I guess I still need to do the dishes' My fun thought to offset that is...'I'm going to wake up early and feel good and get up early enough to make coffee for myself and enjoy it.'

Whole lotta internal dialogue going on at my house :nutso:

Lisa

[Angel3786]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Em: I hear you on those devilish hours!! I get home at 3 and in my mind that is at least 3 hours before I can have my first glass of wine (6pm). Those are the longest 3 hours! But, I have found that taking a long nap helps, I also play games on the computer which occupy my brain and I don't think about drinking at all! My favorite is Bespelled (word game on MSN). I could play it for hours! I do these things too even if I'm NOT planning on drinking. If I'm trying not to drink, and 6pm comes, I really have to occupy my mind with something.....as long as I can be totally occupied it's fine. It's when I get bored that I need wine to be "entertained". But, if I can make it til 8pm that I'm in good shape. I know I have to be in bed by 9 if I'm going to be able to get up at the right time in the morning and if I start drinking at 8, I won't want to stop until 10, so I don't! So making it to 8 is a good thing for me if I'm trying not to drink that night.

Also, regarding the household chores, I try to get them all done in the morning when I'm energetic, but I know not everyone can do that with work schedules, etc. Chores are also are so much easier to do after a great afternoon NAP. Can you tell I'm into napping?

Anyway, good luck tonight and know that you are not alone! We are suffering through the devilish hours. I believe the key is occupying your mind (do you play scrabble?). And napping!

Take care,
Janet

[GratefulEm]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Accountability

Thanks Ladies, for your comments. It blew my mind the first time I came to this site and started reading - you mean there are other people out there who do the exact same things I do? It continues to amaze me how much we all struggle with the same issues. But then, who really likes cleaning the kitchen every night anyways, or hauling laundry around? Mind if I post here tonight if I make it past 8:00 without a drink? Then, thanks Lisa, I'll private message you tomorrow.
I'm having a pretty unbeat day so far. Have to go back to school tomorrow so decided to tackle, and I do mean tackle the refrigerator today. Probably was near condenmability (gosh, since the topa my spelling is going to he.. double fish-sticks). I took the dog running to the beach and will hit T.J.'s (but not spend much) around 4:00. I'm at 75 mg. of topa but no weight loss yet. Seem hungrier than ever and the scale won't budge. But, of course, I've been cheating too. So!
If I make it through 4:00 to 8:00 today it will be the first time in years, but it will feel good. Yesterday I didn't make it because it was raining and only 65 degrees, which is unusual for Aug. and I said, "oh, what a nice day to curl up with a book and enjoy a nice glass of chardonnay, which led to two and you know that route. It's time to really bite the bullet. Cheerio, Em

[lushy]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

I made it!!

Hi Em! I ended going without a drink yesterday. I am feeling very proud of myself and will try again today. For some reason it was not THAT hard. I won't say it was easy and I won't say I was not really wanting a glass because I was but I did run some chores later in the day and did not get home until close to 5:00, got busy cutting veggies and then it was 6:00. I always start drinking around 4-5 so I figured if I had come that far I might as well do it. I am embarrased to admit, however, that I was very bored last night, even with doing chores, cooking dinner, reading, etc., so I went to bed at 9:00. My goal is not to abstain but to only have a few glasses of wine a couple of days a week. I already felt less bloated this morning!!! Good luck and let's keep each other posted. I could not imagine teaching high school students with a hangover. That would have to be enough motivation right there!!!!

[vinophile]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Hi Em,
Like you, everything the evening can throw at me seems so much easier to handle with a glass(or 3 ) of wine.Even when younger and before I began to drink I would feel down as the evening approached.I have found that I must change my routine in order not to drink. I have to organize myself so that I have less to do after 5pm(Iknow with some schedules that is impossible). Sometimes I have to put myself to bed very early and then get things done very early in the morning when I am mush more upbeat and productive.I have scoured the bookstores for reading that will amuse me and not allow me to think of the chardonnay that I'm not drinking. I'll rent movies and then put the dog or cat on my lap so I feel badly disturbing them for a glass of wine. Stupid but it works.
I guess it's important to know we all have a rough time from 4-8 (or in my case 5-9). If something works for you let us know and good luck.
Janet

[Allie]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

I dont know why, but I finished reading all of your posts giggling. Especially at yours Lisa because of your comment about how "no matter how many times it turns out bad, we still think it sounds like a good idea!" WHY IS THAT? Our brains really do think alike...

And yes, much internal dialouging has to go on about the trade-off for the great coffee time in the morning and how much better we wil feel the next day. I won that dialouge last night. I was SOOOO glad today. I went to sleep at 10 p.m. last night and must have fallen right asleep. (Thanks to Topa). My eyes popped open at 6:14 this morning, an hour before my son had to get up for school. So I debated whether to try and go back to sleep for a little bit or go ahead and get up. ( I LOVE my sleep). So I thought.... "Wow... I could go ahead and start coffee, read the paper, make a homemade breakfast..." So I started getting excited. So I got up and started the coffee. I made a huge batch of pancakes and my oldest son (who is 19) had a friend spending the night and they were VERY grateful a few hours later! It was such a great day! By ten this morning I had managed to straighten the entire house which included vacumming upstairs and down, and dusting. I did three loads of laundry and put them away. Then I went to the gym and worked out for an HOUR (big deal for me), came home and showered again, went to lunch with my Mom and then took an hour nap and then still had time to kill before my son got home from school! It was AWESOME!! So guess what time it is right now? 6:04 p.m. Guess what I want? WINE. I want to "reward" myself for being so good today. But I am making myself drink water for now. I may allow myself one glass around 9 p.m. because I am so sleepy by then, that I know I can have one and then crash in bed. So I will hang out here a lot this evening and hopefully stay away from the wine until 9, or maybe all together!

Allie

[GratefulEm]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Allie, you're a hoot! I would be thinking just like you. You got so much done and were SO productive - well how about a little treat for the old self? But you just hang in there girl. I'm trying too. So far, so good.
I really enjoyed your post. Thanks. Em

[lushy]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Allie, you are so right on. Same story here. I actually love getting up in the morning and feeling good and being in a good mood and not snipping at my family because I feel like crap but because our brains are trained to "be fed" alcohol later in the day that is why we start craving it I think. All I know is my happy hour should have started 39 minutes ago and I am sipping a diet soda. Yecchhh!!!! I am determined to get through this day AF (would be day #2 for the first time in years) so I can have a few glasses over the weekend. We can do it!!!!

[GratefulEm]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Did It!

Well, ladies, I did it and I have to say it really wasn't that difficult with the topamax. I kept myself busy and didn't even experience too much of a craving. Had a couple moments, but didn't last long. My ultimate goal is to be able to drink in moderation but I think it's a good idea for me to do a period of abstinence for awhile first. I need to get past all my little rationalizations. Day one is over, now I'll see if I can make it two days.
Must say it's kinda nice to have a clear head for a change. Em

[lushy]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Good job

Good Job Em! I am closing in on day two and having a hell of a time. I am in such a bitchy mood and it is not even that time of the month! . I am desperate for a glass of wine but will hold off and go to bed early. Hope you wake up feeling great!!!

[YoungAtHeart]

Witchy, Devilish Hours

Sometimes, it takes a few days for the bitchiness and/or depression to wear off and the pride to set in! Keep the faith!!

Hugs,
Kathy