A Letter to me From me

[starfairy]

A Letter to me From me

that was very upseting...i could have written that word for word....the saddest is the "did i kiss my kids goodnight" part...i hate to think of what i look like to them...and the reality of it is "what if i finally drank too much for my body to handle and just didn't wake up".....

[42cat]

A Letter to me From me

Re. the kissing kids goodnight thing ... I always worried about the alcohol smell on my breath ... You can't smell it when you're drinking, but I imagine it must be awfully strong to those around us ... and that makes me sad. I remember my dad's alcohol breath .. bleh.

[prancy]

A Letter to me From me

These posts are amazing. I can relate to every one. I don't think I have reached the point where I feel that I can forgive myelf (Day 11) but I greatly look forward to the day when I can. But I am feeling better about myself with every evening I get through! The days are not so hard but the nights are a different story. Seems like my best friend is missing! But ten I think, so what if you could have wine. How would that be different? Thanks for all the words that help me in the evening. If I get really pressed, I just log on and read! Pyes, I know you can do it and it sounds like you have a family just waiting for you.

[New Creation]

A Letter to me From me

Something that I posted in our July 1 thread that seemed to relate to alot of people follows. I have it on my bathroom mirror to remind me of why I am trying to quit. Hope it will help, Pye.

"I drank for happiness and became unhappy. I drank for joy and became miserable. I drank for sociability and became argumentative. I drank for sophistication and became obnoxious. I drank for friendship and made enemies. I drank for sleep and woke up tired. I drank for strength and felt weak. I drank for relaxation and got the shakes. I drank for courage and became afraid. I drank for confidence and became doubtful. I drank to make conversation easier and slurred my speech. I drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell."
- Author Unknown

Prancy, I am certainly still working on forgiving myself. I have two alcoholic kids that are suffering consequences in their lives, I am sure, thanks to the example I set. There could not be anything more painful. But with each day I am realizing that this "friend" I had for so long, that I trusted to help me have a good time in life and forget all my worries, really has always been a very manipulative, lying thief. I am tired of forgiving "him" and welcoming "him" back into my life. Time to realize that I am truly a wonderful person that never asked for this illness and thanks be to God, with His help and with all of yours I will get this awful thief out of my life.

[Pyes]

A Letter to me From me

Hey New Creation that poem is awesome so true. Starfary I can only make it up to my kids now, I cant change the past but I can have a sobre tomorrow and make sure I kiss them everynight.
Pyes