Nora's journey

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

Oh thank heavens.....

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

5-6-10

I sometime just don't know anymore. I feel so strong sometimes. Then I feel so weak. Made it thru yesterday. Today I have spent most of the day trying not to cry. So much going on. I just need to take it step by step......day by day.
I have felt like this is the place I can come to and just be accepted as who I am. Not perfect by any means. But accepted. It really bothers me when it seems like there is conflict going on. Maybe it is all in my imagination because I am so emotional right now. Who knows. I do know that I am beginning to wonder if it is ok to come here and admit it when I fail. Is it wrong to do that. Am I only able to post when I am successful? What about the times when I have fallen on my butt yet again.
I just don't know.....

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

Absolutely not ok to hide....post the truth...it will help....I am not AF and still trying every day

[IAD]

Nora's journey

Nora and Mama....you ladies are so lucky, you can express your feeling s amongst yourselves and it's cool. Me....being a guy, well......Can you imagine two guys getting together and one saying to the other : " Have you ever felt like crying but did'nt know why ?" Ya...right Ha! IAD

[JACQRABBIT]

Nora's journey

IAD;849979 wrote: Nora and Mama....you ladies are so lucky, you can express your feeling s amonst yourselves and it cool. Me....being a guy, well......Can you imagine two guys getting together and one saying to the other : " Have you ever felt like crying but did'nt know why ?" Ya...right Ha! IAD

You can tell us sweetie,
we won't judge you...

You are of course quite right.

Same deal in restaurants,
2 ladies having a meal together, no one thinks twice about it.
But 2 fellas sitting together at a table eating and they're going to attract sideways glances.

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Oh IAD - you can cry on my shoulder anytime.

[IAD]

Nora's journey

Thanks Hon's I feel wanted now ! IAD

[earlysummer84]

Nora's journey

ya, u should do that and u r on the right way. try your best.

[runningwind]

Nora's journey

Nora... that is what this forum is all about... too cheer on the one's that are further on thier journey and to support the people that are just begining.
If there is someone that is making you feel less about where you are at... in my opinion they should not be on this SITE!

runningwind

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

5-9-10

Just read a post by Ukblonde that really hit home:

And just one more thing..............

Supplements. Yes they help but you can't sit back and expect them to magically "work". If you want to drink enough, then you will no medication in the world will stop you. You have to work at it yourself and the meds/supps just help you along.

If you had a sore leg and a walking stick you wouldn't expect the stick to pick your legs up and walk. You still have to use your limbs to walk and the stick simply helps you take the weight off one-side a little bit. That's how I see supplements.
__________________

So - not taking my second dose of Topamax or suplements isn't really doing me any favors is it? Duh! I am expecting my medication to magically work when I'm not even taking it. Also, I'm not doing anything else to even attempt to work at it. Just being blah and expecting everything to take care of itself. I'm so smart. :H

I slept a lot yesterday and that helped so much. I finally feel rested. It has been a long week. I've been reading a lot here and that has helped. Staying in touch. Important. Back to the basics. That is the key for me. Back to the basics.

[papmom3]

Nora's journey

I'm right with you Nora!! I wish I could say I got a lot of rest this weekend but can't. It's OK tho, I'm ready to start over. I just read your post of 5/6 and I want to say that I understand the reluctance to come back to the forums when you've failed at a goal you've given yourself about being AF. I didn't want to post my failure either Friday nite and certainly didn't want to slink back into the nest yesterday morning. I could have easily just snuck away, never to be heard from again. But, if I did that, then I would not have the wonderful support I've been getting from you and everyone else. No one can help us if they don't know we need it. Just knowing there wasn't going to be any judgement, just words of advice and support really helped alot. Everyone comes to their point of no return at different speeds. The fact that you continue posting and reading and offering support is what's important. It's obvious you do want an AF life, you just haven't figured out what the best way out is for you. I'm trying to figure that out too. We'll figure it out together but it will be different for you and different for me. Just stick with me kid!! :l :l :h

[KatieB]

Nora's journey

NoraC;849921 wrote: I sometime just don't know anymore. I feel so strong sometimes. Then I feel so weak. Made it thru yesterday. Today I have spent most of the day trying not to cry. So much going on. I just need to take it step by step......day by day.
I have felt like this is the place I can come to and just be accepted as who I am. Not perfect by any means. But accepted. It really bothers me when it seems like there is conflict going on. Maybe it is all in my imagination because I am so emotional right now. Who knows. I do know that I am beginning to wonder if it is ok to come here and admit it when I fail. Is it wrong to do that. Am I only able to post when I am successful? What about the times when I have fallen on my butt yet again.
I just don't know.....

Nora; please by all means, always come back to us.. I have slipped up hugely and always came back.. ppl here will always be supportive regardless - and the one's that are not, don't last for very long here! This is what this site is all about - if we were all perfect and not slipping up then this site would not exist! There would be no such thing as a "problem drinker" if we could all magically work it out the moment we got here.. ignore the conflicts, 99% of the ppl here want help and want to help others.. you are always welcome - you so helped me yesterday when I was feeling down, even though you have your own problems - you are invaluable here! take care, and I hope things start to look up for you soon,
Katie xxx :l

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Thanks Papmom - I actually had a LONG talk with hubby today. Told him how I was struggling. How I felt. How remarkable, I talked. It really helped. So, I think I'll just stick with you Pap. A day at a time. I need to stop trying to hold everything in and being the strong one. It is ok to ask for help. I obviously can't do it all. :h

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Katie - thank you! I finally feel like I'm getting back on my feet. I think I had been so stressed out and needed sleep and when I finally relaxed and slept, it helped me with my resolve. I have been reading so much this weekend. I have been spending a lot of time on here just reading. I have not been putting my all into this and that is my fault. So, things have changed and I can't claim that they will be all better. However, I am saying this is it! Pay attention......do what needs to be done. So, here I go. I know that things won't be easy. I have learned that. But, I do know that I am ready to fight.

[IAD]

Nora's journey

Don't leave Nora...lots of support her......IAD