Nora's journey

[rubywillow]

Nora's journey

Nora, this is such a great idea, to track yourself, with support. You've doing doing great just sticking here, so this is another great 'tool' for you.
Tenant called to tell me he had a 5 foot snake on his porch. WTF am I supposed to do???? Told him if it wasn't poisenous at least it would keep down the mice! :H

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

9-27-10

Hi Mama & Ruby! Thanks for stopping by.
I hope that you told your tenant to just keep the snake, Rubes! Yuck!

Ruby - I'm trying to make this the place I come to daily - happy or sad - to put down my thoughts. You are right - one of my 'tools'. :h

Record high today - 113? - I'll be glad when this heat wave ends. I think it's finally cooled down enough that I'm going to try to sleep.

Doing very well with the Antabuse. No cravings and don't really think about alcohol. I am trying to set a pattern/plan so that it will be like that.

I made an appointment with the Doctor for October 8. Still having that pain/uncomfortable feeling in my stomach/side. It could be so many things but I've decided that I better get it checked out. I was looking at some of the medications that I take and they can cause some problems. So, its' better to be safe than sorry. I was looking at some side effects online and hubby said that he a Doctor tell him that everyone has aches & pains. I turned and told him that I'm not the type to complain about things like this. And he said something. I looked at him. I said I'm being serious - he had been joking around. He agreed with me that I'm not the type that would complain. He complains a lot and explains how every single pain feels in great detail. I am not that way at all. So, for me to continue to complain about this, I think I better get it looked at. Oh well - probably just gas. :H

Going to try to sleep. It's under 100? now.

[mollyka]

Nora's journey

Mornin Nora, delighted the antabuse seems to be doing the job. I found it great just to get a bit of sober time together, and then the sober time worked as an incentive cos I didn't want to break it. You're dead right to get any aches and pains checked out specially since I think I remember you saying you didn't have your bloods done - prob no harm. Oh and all men moan - my fellow thinks he's all stoic and silent when in 'agony' or with the 'manflu' - you only have to look at him and it's a moan:H.
Glad you're doing well - sorry bout the heat - it's lovely crisp Autumn weather here, I'm really enjoying it, as I get older I love the seasons.
Molly

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

antabuse arrived yesterday Nora...do not want to take it until after my drug test for this possible new job...don't want to have to explain that!!!
But I will be on it soon enough and we can do this together

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

9-28-10

Jan - glad that you got your antabuse! I would definitely wait until after you get everything settled with the new job before you start it.

So - I am trying to work thru some things with hubby like my therapist has suggested. I wish that I had told him about it in a better way though. He actually took it very well and he is being so supportive. I do love him so much.
I am going to just be blunt and put this down even though this sounds awful but I need to get things out & not keep them in - He complains a lot about all of his pains. He tells me about every single pain in great detail. Whether it is a blister on his finger or his actual terrible neck & back pain. This is just the way he is. (It's funny because he always complained about how his Mother did that but he is just like her in that regard) He also, tells me every single time he takes his medicine every single day. In great detail and how it affects him and makes him feel. This is something that goes on every single day and it had gotten to a point where I was resenting him. I was just holding it all in & just burying it deep inside. I felt like a horrible, terrible person for resenting him. I finally talked to my therapist about it. She said, why don't you tell him about it. What could happen. I just looked at her. She said are you afraid you're going to hurt his feelings, is he going to get mad, what? I said, well, I guess I should tell him. She said it's better to tell him instead of holding in all this stress until you explode at him and he doesn't know why you are mad.
Anyway, I ended up mentioning to him yesterday about him mentioning his aches & pains and his meds. I don't even remember exactly how I told him. But, I wish I had told him in a nicer way. But, tonight he told me thank you for everything that I do for him and taking care of him. And that I was right that he does complain about his aches & pains and tell me about his meds. I apologized and said that I didn't mean it in a bad way. Anyway, he understood. About 5 minutes later, he started talking about the medicine that he took today. But, he realized that he was doing it and laughed. But, it was a new med and that was different. I wanted to know about that.
Anyway, I am opening up the lines of communication. We are talking. That is a good thing.
Of course, now that I've told him this, I'm having all this stomach/side pain. Tried to get in to the Doctor today but she was out sick. Was going to go to urgent care but fell asleep. I'll end up going to the Doctor tomorrow one way or the other. So, I talk to him about complaining and now I am.
Anyway - things are good. Need to keep working on things. Positive changes. Keep moving forward.

[K9Lover]

Nora's journey

Hi Mama!
I'm glad you got your Antabuse. I know you're worried about the drug test, but drug tests are targeted at specific drug identifiers and Disufiram is not a targeted drug, so it would not show up. Also, it is not a drug of "abuse", so it would not be a problem. Sorry, I sound like and Antabuse "pusher". LOL
Let us know how everything goes! :h
K9


p.s. Hi Nora! Didn't mean to hijack your thread. Glad to hear you're doing well. I hope your aches and pains turn out to be nothing!

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

Nora...BRAVO on speaking up....
my husband is physically a very large, muscular man's man....it has taken me years not to be terrified of confrontation or bringing up touchy subjects...and you know what.....he can take it!!! It may take him a few days to absorb what I am saying, but he does listen.....

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

9-29-10

Well - went to the Doctor today. Not my regular Doctor so had to explain that I was on antabuse and he questioned how much I had been drinking, blah, blah, blah. :upset: Not a fun thing to discuss. I, of course, am worried that it is my liver. I pretty much insisted that he do a blood test to check my liver function. But, he thinks it's my gall bladder. He is ordering an ultrasound. Now, I have to wait for the authorization. He gave me a list of foods to avoid. Fatty foods, cheese, avocado, citrus, caffeine, dark sodas, chocolate. Would you believe that one of them is excess water? I have been trying to avoid caffeine so I have been drinking more water and lemonade and caffeine free tea. I just looked at him - what am I supposed to drink. Gatorade, flat 7-up. Geez - thanks.
He gave me a prescription for a pill (something like Priolosec) that should help. Well, I checked drug interactions when I got home and it interacts with Antabuse. So, I don't think I'm even going to get the prescription. I just want to hurry & get the ultrasound done and find out what is really wrong with me.
I don't seem to match the gall bladder symptoms that I'm looking up on the internet so I just don't know. I'm going to try to call and push for the authorization so I can get this done quickly.
Just when I think I'm getting things squared away. Oh well. That's the way it goes. The good thing is that the Dr. does not think that the Antabuse is causing any of my symptoms. So, hopefully, I haven't already killed my liver and we can just take care of whatever is going on.
Ok - enough of this. I'm obviously scared out of my mind. I should have been thinking about this every time that I took that drink. Well, actually I was thinking about it when I took those drinks. But, of course, I was invincible then. Not so much right now.
To be honest......I want to make sure that this sticks. That I remember being scared and that I can keep from going back to old habits. It seems that sometimes, once the scare is gone, it's too easy to slip back into those habits. Amazing how peoples minds work sometimes. And that is why I'm on Antabuse trying to work on my plan.

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

Nora...you will be fine...you worry too much baby....that is just your nature...xoxox

[Coco-Nut]

Nora's journey

Good job with the Antabuse Nora! YAY!

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

6-30-10

Oh Jan - You are so funny! Somebody has to worry about things. :H You are right. I always tell myself that I'm not going to worry.

Coco - Thanks! Yep - I'm so happy for you for doing it on your own. I hope to be able to join you with that. But, right now - the antabuse is the right thing for me.

I got my blood test results back. Everything fell into the normal range. Yahoo! So, that is a relief. I have an appointment to get my ultrasound in the morning. That was quite an ordeal to get an appointment. Geez! Thank goodness that I have learned to be a little bit pushy. Normally, I am not when it comes to me. But, I have experience calling and bugging the nurses/doctors on behalf of my husband. So, since I was feeling so bad today, my friend talked me into calling & bugging. Glad I did. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had an appointment until October 18.

Worried about my son again. Has been out every night this week. It's rush week in the Fraternity. We are going to try to talk to him again. Just when I think that I have got thru to him........ Sometimes, I just want to cry but what good would that do. I will just talk to him again. And, I will keep talking to him. I will show him that there is a better way. My heart aches.

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

nora...I know you worry about your son.....
my hubby was in a frat and drank like a whale for years.....he should be dead a few times over...
but he grew out of it and now is a great husband and father....
I understand b/c of your addiction issues.....but he will prolly be just fine....
just trying to help you find some peace.....is his father an alcoholic too???

[K9Lover]

Nora's journey

Hi Nora!
How are you doing on the Antabuse? I am still taking mine daily, but plan to cut back to every other day in about 10 days. Have you had any reactions to anything?

[OverIt2007]

Nora's journey

Hi Nora,

I am interested in hearing how you are doing as well! Im so glad you are trying this, and I hope you enjoy the experience. Most days I felt great taking it. Of course not having a great day is just normal I suppose too. Every day cant be a great day, but every day sober is for sure better than a hangover day.

Wishing you the very best!

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

plan on starting mine sunday or monday....still a little scared of it....