Re: Nora's journey
Thanks friends. I came here to just vent and get it all out. And, I reread the above posts about being kind to myself. So, thank you again for putting things into perspective for me. I have had a hard week and it is normal that I am feeling physically and emotionally drained.
My niece (K) and I flew up to Oregon on Monday night. Got in, fell into bed and got up the next morning and packed up boxes and boxes for the next 2 days. Got to the point of just throwing stuff into totes. Movers arrived on Thursday. We flew home late Friday night.
It was an emotional trip. Very emotional. Lots of feelings were brought up......including the anger that my niece feels for her Dad and the way he was taking care of my Mom. That he would leave her for hours and go to the casino. We talked and I told her that he did the best he could for who he is. That we couldn't think that he would have changed into a nurturing person. He does love deeply in his heart but he is by no means a loving/nurturing person. Yes, he could have taken better care of Mom. However, he stepped in when my Dad died. He moved in and took care of my Mom until it wasn't an option anymore. But, I guess that I do feel resentment at times too. Seeing the condition that my Mom's house was in. Made me sad. I'm so sad because this beautiful home that my parents built is no longer 'home'. Can't put it into words......
I have a truckload of sentimental furniture, pictures, letters and knick-knacks coming down here. So much coming down here and I will have to sort and disperse to all the grandkids, great-grandkids. It's funny - I spent over $3000.00 moving all this stuff. The cost of it all wouldn't be that. But, oh, the sentimental things in there. Letters from my Dad to my Mom when he was going into the Navy. Letters my Mom wrote when she was back in West Virginia when her parents were sick. So many memories.
We still have a house full of furniture and STUFF to get rid of. I want to have an estate person come in & look at it. Have them empty it out. I am going to write an e-mail to my brother with my suggestions. That way he can think about them before he knocks all my ideas. :wink-new: We usually have to go thru an exercise of him being totally against it and gradually get to a compromise. So, I might as well get started. Lots of things to be done to the house. He keeps saying after his surgery he'll be able to go up there for an extended period. (Probably knee replacement and maybe a shoulder surgery) Well, he has been saying that since before he moved to Louisiana 6 months ago and he still hasn't seen a surgeon. I don't want to leave the house empty for the next year.
But, the most special part of the whole trip and I'm crying again as I write this down is the fact that my Dad 'visited' us.
My parents have had a Grandfather's clock for probably 40 years. My Dad loved that clock. K (my niece) and I know that chime very well. They also had another clock that chimed that my son asked for. Again, something that we have heard for 40 years.
It's Friday morning. The movers had come and gone - both clocks are packed and gone. My niece and I were getting ready to go out and run errands. I was sitting on the couch in the living room and she was in the bathroom drying her hair...........
Out of the clear blue....... bong.................bong................ (Now I started yelling to K to listen) ..............bong. She came out and asked what it was and then said oh - it's the doorbell. Oh - ok, I thought. She checked the door - no. Not the doorbell. Sounded nothing like the doorbell. We looked around inside and outside but there was nothing. We just stared at each other. We knew that it was my Dad but she had only heard the last bong. She didn't get the full effect but it was the EXACT chimes that the grandfather clock made. Then 5 minutes later - bong..........................bong................ ..............bong...................... She was able to hear it ring the 3 times.
And, that was the last time we heard it. But, oh I know in my heart and soul that it was my Daddy telling us he loved us. :heartbeat:
Thanks friends. I came here to just vent and get it all out. And, I reread the above posts about being kind to myself. So, thank you again for putting things into perspective for me. I have had a hard week and it is normal that I am feeling physically and emotionally drained.
My niece (K) and I flew up to Oregon on Monday night. Got in, fell into bed and got up the next morning and packed up boxes and boxes for the next 2 days. Got to the point of just throwing stuff into totes. Movers arrived on Thursday. We flew home late Friday night.
It was an emotional trip. Very emotional. Lots of feelings were brought up......including the anger that my niece feels for her Dad and the way he was taking care of my Mom. That he would leave her for hours and go to the casino. We talked and I told her that he did the best he could for who he is. That we couldn't think that he would have changed into a nurturing person. He does love deeply in his heart but he is by no means a loving/nurturing person. Yes, he could have taken better care of Mom. However, he stepped in when my Dad died. He moved in and took care of my Mom until it wasn't an option anymore. But, I guess that I do feel resentment at times too. Seeing the condition that my Mom's house was in. Made me sad. I'm so sad because this beautiful home that my parents built is no longer 'home'. Can't put it into words......
I have a truckload of sentimental furniture, pictures, letters and knick-knacks coming down here. So much coming down here and I will have to sort and disperse to all the grandkids, great-grandkids. It's funny - I spent over $3000.00 moving all this stuff. The cost of it all wouldn't be that. But, oh, the sentimental things in there. Letters from my Dad to my Mom when he was going into the Navy. Letters my Mom wrote when she was back in West Virginia when her parents were sick. So many memories.
We still have a house full of furniture and STUFF to get rid of. I want to have an estate person come in & look at it. Have them empty it out. I am going to write an e-mail to my brother with my suggestions. That way he can think about them before he knocks all my ideas. :wink-new: We usually have to go thru an exercise of him being totally against it and gradually get to a compromise. So, I might as well get started. Lots of things to be done to the house. He keeps saying after his surgery he'll be able to go up there for an extended period. (Probably knee replacement and maybe a shoulder surgery) Well, he has been saying that since before he moved to Louisiana 6 months ago and he still hasn't seen a surgeon. I don't want to leave the house empty for the next year.
But, the most special part of the whole trip and I'm crying again as I write this down is the fact that my Dad 'visited' us.
My parents have had a Grandfather's clock for probably 40 years. My Dad loved that clock. K (my niece) and I know that chime very well. They also had another clock that chimed that my son asked for. Again, something that we have heard for 40 years.
It's Friday morning. The movers had come and gone - both clocks are packed and gone. My niece and I were getting ready to go out and run errands. I was sitting on the couch in the living room and she was in the bathroom drying her hair...........
Out of the clear blue....... bong.................bong................ (Now I started yelling to K to listen) ..............bong. She came out and asked what it was and then said oh - it's the doorbell. Oh - ok, I thought. She checked the door - no. Not the doorbell. Sounded nothing like the doorbell. We looked around inside and outside but there was nothing. We just stared at each other. We knew that it was my Dad but she had only heard the last bong. She didn't get the full effect but it was the EXACT chimes that the grandfather clock made. Then 5 minutes later - bong..........................bong................ ..............bong...................... She was able to hear it ring the 3 times.
And, that was the last time we heard it. But, oh I know in my heart and soul that it was my Daddy telling us he loved us. :heartbeat:
Comment