Nora's journey

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

I am about to call you

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Thanks for the call, Mama. Great talking to you. :l:l

[mollyka]

Nora's journey

Nora pet:l You know I understand the Scott/Joe thing - it's very lonely isn't it. Like that, Joe goes on and on about 'not being able to read my mind' but then when I say what I'm feeling like you did - suddenly I'm talking 'nonsense' --- ok it's fecking nonsense to you mate --- but it's what I'm FEELING Just cos it's not what they want to hear ggggrrrr!! I'm also sick of saying sorry for things I just haven't done for peace sake - do you do that?

Anyway - that's MY rant ---- sorry - just wanted to let you know I understand! I've said it before tho, as long as I let Joe's moods and opinions and funny way's of going on affect me so much - my sobriety would be at risk - therefore I'm really working at 'duck's back' syndrome - and it's working. I think you need to try the same? Venus and Mar's Nora:l

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Thanks Molly. :l Yes - I was able to get in my therapist today and it was good. I had reverted to all my old coping skills. Sleeping for long periods of time or drinking so I could sleep, full of anxiety.
And I am going to get back to the 'duck's back'. Need to realize that I love many things about him but his mood is not one of them. And stop taking the moods on myself.
Thanks Molly. :h

[one2many]

Nora's journey

Nora,

I can really identify, i have literally taken Rob's moods as my own over the years. A certain look or a gruff retort from him had be desperately racking my brains for what I could have possibly done to cause it...

I would continually ask.."whats wrong?" "is it me" "what did I do" "is it because.... or...... or......

It was emotionally draining and exhausting. I was a bag of nerves and it would affect me for days and it most certainly was a huge trigger to drink.

Now, I just let him get on with it, if he is in a bad mood, so be it, instead of worrying and obsessing about WHY he is in a bad mood, I just get on with my own stuff and let him wallow. it honestly does not affect me any more and the really funny thing is, he seems to get out of his bad mood MUCH quicker nowadays because he is NOT getting what he wants from me....pity/me taking the blame, attention. I am not saying he intentionally seeks these things, but he was used to getting them through his bahaviour.Maybe it was a subconscious thing.

Take back your power and know you are not responsible for his moods, shake it off and get on with your day xxx

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Thanks Oney. I definitely need to do that. I'm mad at myself that I let it affect me so much that I slipped back into the old coping mechanisms. I am better than that.
Also, I realize I should have turned to the support here to help me. I need to stop doing the turtle move where I curl up into my shell. Spent too many years in my shell.

[one2many]

Nora's journey

We all did that Nora, I used to race down to the shops to get smokes and booze when i was supposed to be off it because Rob was in one of his moods......it took me a long while to realise that i was using it as an excuse.

I think when you stop letting others moods affect you, you DEFINITELY get stronger and a little more self resilient xxx

Keep your chin up hon, it does take practice but you will get there!!

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

Nora
I hope our chat helped....remember I have a spare bedroom and you can come hide here
we could do the Thelma and Louise thing!!!!

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

Nora
I hope our chat helped....remember I have a spare bedroom and you can come hide here
we could do the Thelma and Louise thing!!!!
sans the cliff dive!!

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Yes - the chat helped and you all posting to me helped. Nice to know that I'm not alone in this. :l

Thelma & Louise sound pretty good right now (but I get Brad Pitt )

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

oh....all right
I'll share.....

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

mama bear;1327885 wrote: oh....all right
I'll share.....

:H:H:H

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

6-8-12

Just thinking that life is so short. And, so precious.

My Uncle passed away this morning. He lived a long, full life. But, it's still so sad. Thankfully, he didn't suffer for a long time. I think of my Aunt & my cousins. How much they are hurting right now. I haven't seen my Aunt & Uncle in years & years. They live back in West Virginia and I haven't been back there in over 25 years. I can still remember the summers that I spent back there when I was young. My Mom, Dad, brother & I would ride the train (3 days!) back to West Virginia to visit my grandparents. My Mom's 2 brothers and their families would go back there too. Wonderful memories.

Tomorrow morning is the service for my cousin's husband who passed away on May 26. He suffered for 6 years with the cancer. So much pain that he had to endure. He was probably only in his 50's. So sad for my cousin. She had found her soul mate. And now he is gone.

Just thinking about this. Friends right now that are losing or have just lost loved ones. We all need to remember to cherish each other. Be thankful for the time we have together. Remember to love each other. Life is a gift. We need to be thankful for it.

[mollyka]

Nora's journey

What a lovely touching post Nora. I'm so sorry about your losses - life is very short indeed and needs to be lived to the full while we have it. It's so easy to live in 'tomorrow' - I'll do this, I'll do that ---- tomorrow - and d'yaknow what ---- it's true, tomorrow never comes --- TODAY is what counts - going to bed at the end of today feeling 'yep, that was a good day'.
I have a friend I work with the same age as myself (55) and she's so young - both looking and at heart - could pass for a 40 yr old no problem. She has a major problem with a (now) grown up son - he's 20 and has broken her heart for years --- he's abusive, nasty and destructive. She was talking yesterday about how she can retire on a full 40 yr pension in 2 an a half years and move to Portugal which she loves, her brothers live there and it's the place that makes her happy. I just said to her why not retire at 37 an a half yrs service - slightly reduced pension and feck off now - god knows where we'll all be in another few years. She just looked at me in amazement - as she's entrenched in such misery at home at the mo. she had never thought of that.
She just said 'YES!!!!' ---- went and rang HR and is getting the wheels in motion. BLOODY FANTASTIC I reckon. Life IS a gift Nora
Molly xxxx

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

I have been thinking the same things the past fews day cos of your losses Nora. And Sun's. Snd Foxy's sister...and Paula's sister
and I think that's why I get upset about the nonsense here between people I consider friends.
Life is too damn short. let it go....choose joy
That is so cool about your friend Molls.....what is it about Portugal??? Mario loves it too, right??