Nora's journey

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

I try to remember this EVERY day Nora......and I hold on to how shitty I wil feel in the morning

[scottish lass]

Nora's journey

This is a great thread - had not found this one before, but it helps!!! A LOT!!

[dixon]

Nora's journey

NoraC,

You have chosen a wonderful remarks made by Mario ,he is one of the winner here !!
If you wouldn't mind can you please put some information about your progress in your signature so that it would be a reminder to you and everyone posting here.

Your journey looks too long so new members cant know how are you doing with your progress since beginning in fact.It is very inspirational to all of us ,I have already told you that I have been inspired by you and It was the only long thread I read out here.

Though I am new here , may I suggest you to come up with some measurable progresses on signature so that everyone becomes clear about your journey and can advise accordingly.Now its very difficult to advise you by a new member... Please don't take it otherwise !!
You are a star here to guide others !
Dix

[Wildflowers]

Nora's journey

Quote:
Your doing great dixon :-) You should be very proud.But I don't think we can begin to truly grow into a successful, lifetime, AF plan until we have managed to make the shift in our thinking from the "Deprivation Mode" to the "Gratitude Mode."

In Deprivation Mode, we think alcohol is a good thing that we are being deprived of. We are sad, and grieve the loss of what had felt like a friend to us. We consider it a treat that we never get to give ourselves again. We are envious of others who "get to drink."

In Gratitude Mode, we recognize that alcohol is (for us, because of our brain structure, genetics, physiology, etc.) a toxin, a poison, something that nearly destroyed us. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. We recognize that we have the most amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of something that makes us very sick in all those ways. We recognize the craziness of voluntarily damaging our brains, minds, bodies, families, jobs, futures. We are really, really grateful for that opportunity, and we guard it and cultivate it carefully.

Most of us start a recovery program in deprivation mode. Some people stay there forever. Those people tend not to be able to create a consistently successful program, or life, of freedom from alcohol and its devastation. Some of us transition into gratitude mode.

For most of us, Gratitude Mode does not just happen all by itself. We have to make it happen. If we want to shift into gratitude mode, we learn to cultivate it. We cultivate it by being careful about our thoughts, and about what we notice. If we find ourselves thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a drink, we deliberately shift attention away from this train of thought, and we deliberately choose to think about how good it is to know we will never humiliate ourselves with alcohol again, never again have another horrible hangover, never disappoint our children again with the way we are when we get drunk. We notice alcohol advertising, pay attention to how it makes us feel, and detach from the message by noticing how distorted the message is.

That kind of thing is crucial. We literally can BUILD a new way of thinking and feeling about things. And I think that's something to be grateful for, in itself!
Keep moving forward dixon you can and will do it :-)
__________________


I just read a GREAT post by Mario. I want to remember it.

I read this the day he posted it & meant to comment, but had to run. This is what I meant Nora when I posted on your One Step At A Time Thread, MWO is the icing on the cake in my recovery. I didn't learn this type of thinking in my recovery journey, at other stops. Tho I've learned many other valuable tools & skills. It's because of posters like him & others who post sobriety messages like this, that have given me what I really need to change my thinking into being positive about not glamorizing alcohol. My ears hear their voices, cause my mind is receptive. My rose colored glasses are a different color now. They are pea & mustard green ~ yucky colors in my eyes. Alcohol has burned all it's bridges with me. It's my enemy!.... Now I'm going to read his other post, as I'll bet it's full of more helpful advice & good thinking!

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

8-14-12

Another really great post. This one is from Sober Visitor.

Hi Christyacc,

Can you maybe challenge your thinking about drinking more than you do? Why do you like drinking so much? What is it about drinking that makes you want to continue to destroy your mind, body, spirit, relationships, life? Is it the taste? Is it the wonderful way it makes you feel in the morning? Is it the lonliness that it relieves or does it actually keep you stuck feeling lonely? Perhaps making a list of pros and cons with what you really like about drinking verus what you really dislike about drinking would be a helpful exercise for you, and be as honest with yourself as possible. Perhaps when all is said and done and you review what you've written you will realize that you really don't like drinking that much after all, but that it's just something you keep telling yourself because quitting seems too difficult or you're afraid or whatever. You may even come to the conclusion that it's really the alcohol that's making and keeping you so unhappy.

The thing is, and I can't emphasize this enough, if you keep telling yourself "but I like drinking" you are making it much more difficult on yourself than it has to be because you're reinforcing and sending the the wrong message to your brain. If you REALLY want to quit (even if you like drinking), it would be better for you to choose different phrases to repeat to yourself such as "I hate drinking" or "I don't drink" or "drinking sucks" or "alcohol is poison" so that you can send the right message to your brain that will help you to succeed. Believe it or not, nothing that any of us say to you will be as important to your recovery than the words and thoughts that take place between your own ears. They are the ones that you will hear the loudest and listen to the most. They are also the ones that you can choose so be sure to choose them wisely. My phrases of choice were "alcohol is poison" and "I don't drink." I kept it simple for myself, and repeated those two phrases over and over to myself every day as much as possible. Eventually my brain got the message and so did my inner junkie and the obsession to drink lifted. Our words and thoughts are so much more powerful that we even know.

SV

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

8-14-12

I want to thank all of you for your comments & suggestions. I am really working on my thinking - changing my thinking. That is going to be the key for me. Dixon had a really important suggestion with putting my date on my signature. I am really considering that - I think it might be helpful but I need to be able to do that without feeling like a failure if the date changes. Like I said - I am still working on my thinking.

I've been doing well lately. Enjoying the good stuff. Thinking of good things and trying to think of alcohol as wasting my time & energy. I am looking forward to getting Beth's book. It should be here tomorrow. Sounds like an interesting book.

Off to read. Something I wasn't able to do when I was drinking.

[scottish lass]

Nora's journey

Nora - we have been having an interesting discussion on another thread, chatting about just this....

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...-up-67102.html

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Scottish Lass - THANK YOU!!!!:l:l I am having many, many AF days. I like your little dots on the calendar. I think I'll try that. Thanks so much. This helped. :l

[scottish lass]

Nora's journey

You are so welcome - Kaslo just posted a great response too, not sure if you saw it - helped my attitude a ton! This could just do it for me!
And you have helped me so much in this journey - this is what makes it all work, if we can all help a little, that adds up to a lot - just like all the AF minutes/hours and days will all add up!:l

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

8-15-12

I received my book today that Kimberly wrote. Started reading it and it looks like a really good book. I'm too tired tonight to really get into it. But, I'm looking forward to it.

I got myself a calendar today and I've marked all my AF days with a green X starting from July 29. I wish that I had been doing this all year. It is great to see all those X's.

[scottish lass]

Nora's journey

Oh me too Nora, I started last year, but got despondent - now I wish I had kept it up and celebrated all the green dots and not the blank days! Even my 11 year old learnt what the green dots were and she would check. With a different attitude now, it would be great to see the progress and enjoy it! I am going to keep it up too!

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Scottish Lass - I just commented on another thread that you are on. I am loving the positive attitude!!!!

[scottish lass]

Nora's journey

Just saw that - there are some really comfy (for me) threads around just now - I know I had to pick and chose to find some to settle in that made me feel ok being honest - so glad you have joined us there...:l
See you are in So Ca, I am in the Northern part - my wind chimes are singing tonight thank goodness, we did not reach 100 today, seems to have been forever! I am looking forward to sleeping with windows open and no AC tonight, it will feel so good tomorrow on top of no hangover!

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Absolutely! No point in doing this if we can't be honest.

We finally had cooler weather today. Think it only got to 88?. Enjoy your cooler night too. I won't be getting up and splashing water all over my head and neck to try to cool down. :H

[mama bear]

Nora's journey

Nora....send me the book when you finish it please???