Nora's journey

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Day 5
I'm doing ok today. I have been exhausted. But, I think a lot of that has been the depression and stress I have been under. Finally letting go & taking care of me has put all sorts of changes on my body.
We are getting my 9 year old niece and my 6 year old nephew today for a two week or so visit. We are excited. We are VERY CLOSE to them. My niece's (more like my daughter) husband is in the military and they are being sent to another country very shortly. It has been a very emotional time. Waiting to find out where they were being sent, etc. The good news is that the kids will stay with us while my niece goes back East to her husbands graduation and attends her own week long class. So, we are going to have a wonderful couple of weeks. I was always able to hold it together while the kids were here - at least while they were awake. But, now I'll be holding it together completely. And, I'm so happy about that.
To be honest, I have been worried about after they move and that is one of the main motivators of me going AF. I must get a grip. I saw myself going off the deep end. But, I finally can see myself being ok.
So....enough of the rambling. I am so happy that I found this group. Everyone here is wonderful. I finally feel like I can do this.

[Boss.man]

Nora's journey

Nora, you are my hero too! You inspire all. Keep it up.

[The New Me]

Nora's journey

Nora,

I find the rollercoaster of emotions hard to take as well. One day I feel on the top of the world, I am so happy not to drink, than something comes over me and the desire to drink gets very strong. I guess it is to be expected, but it is hard to take.
Perhaps this is where the meds come in, I am not on any, but debating whether I should take some.
Still pondering...

[Savannah]

Nora's journey

Hey Nora-
Don't forget were doing this together, 'cuz I'm also on day 3.. 3 Kudos goes out to you.. :wd::We will make it through together.. My day was very difficult, because I work around alcohol, but I didn't look at it, I won't lie, I thought about it, but I looked at it like an abusive relationship. Why go back to it (him). (He) It took me away from my family, friends, and most important myself.. We just have to find our spirit again.. It's not gonna be easy, we just work our way through it..

[Savannah]

Nora's journey

Sorry, Nora I got you mixed up with another member on the whole 3 day thing, you deserve more kudos, lol.. but everything else I said still sticks!!

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Thanks everyone. I want to go around & talk to you all but don't know if I'm going to be able to tonight. It's been a busy day. But, a wonderful day. I had an easier day today too! Not perfect but certainly not as many cravings. Today I felt like I CAN DO THIS. I'll be back when I can. The kids are overly tired and we're trying to get them to go to bed now. Wish me luck :nutso:

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Day 6 - Harder day today
It was a much rougher day today because as I realized today I use alcohol for stress. I guess I always knew that but it was crystal clear today. Has anyone seen the movie Airplane where the character says I picked the wrong day to give up sniffing glue? :H That's the way I felt today. Our refrigerator finally went out. And of course we had just filled it full of food yesterday. So it was a day filled with scrambling trying to get a fridge, salvage food, tense with hubby, bickering children, temps in the 90's, etc.
But, I survived with my morning dose of L-Glutamine, a 50 mg of Topamax, another dose of L-Glutamine powder mixed in a little bit of hot ice tea (YUCK!!!!). I am hoping to receive my Kudzu soon.
Anyway, it's over 90 here in the house. The kids are out in the above ground pool with our next door neighbor's son. I can hear them bickering. Hubby is out there watching them. I told him that I needed a break. I actually said that. I took care of me first.
I'm getting there. Anyway, I want to say THANK YOU EVERYONE. 6 days ago, I would have been at the liquor store by now. :thanks:

[Cinders]

Nora's journey

NoraC,

Great job on getting through a high stress day without alcohol. In AA they use the acronym HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) and in NA they made it HALTS and added stress in the mix.

A big part of learning how to be abstinent is learning how to deal with all the stuff life throws at people without alcohol. We used it as a quick fix drug and in all the time we were using it, we were not learning how to deal with life the way we needed to.

I do want to add that feeling good and euphoric can also be a trigger, too. That is the "I've been doing so well, one would make me feel great" thinking.

As you get AF time under your belt, you will hit these bumps. Tackle them head on and you will be learning how to live your life the way we are all meant to. Sober.

Congratulations, too. By the end of 10 days, you are going to be absolutely amazed at how much better you physically feel.

Be proud. You are doing awesome.

Cindi

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Cindi - THANK YOU!!! You are so right!! I know that feeling good can be a trigger too. Geez - what the heck. You know - I really like that HALTS acronym. I'm going to try to remember that.
You are a great friend on this forum. Thanks for being here. You are very wise.

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Day 7

Sitting here at my desk at work waiting for the catering truck to get here. I want to take my morning dose of L-Glutamine and need to get some orange juice. I use a powder form and need something to put it in. I didn't have anything at home because of the whole fridge situation.
I can just feel my stress levels rising. And that means that my mind is turning to when I get off work and ...............

Ok - back & just drank my L-Glut. That should help. I need to remember HALTS. Great tip from Cindi.

How oh how did I let myself get to be like this? Well - this is not the time to start dwelling on that. This is the time to be grateful that I am working towards a better me.

Well - back to work. Enough belly aching for one morning. :H

[MissMerlot]

Nora's journey

Well Done

Well done nora...:goodjob:

I'm struggling too,but proud to be at day 5!

You're doing really well and your posts could be identical to how i feel...

Keep strong,sober,and be happy...

hugs
xx
annie

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Heading to bed but wanted to make a quick note that I made it thru Day 7. I am really trying to keep a daily log here so that when things get rough, I can come back here & read thru. I CAN do this.
We got our fridge today and have COLD food. Yahoo!!!
Note to self - drinking way too much caffeine. Knock it off. Tomorrow I am going to concentrate on more water. Otherwise I'm going to have to peel myself off the ceiling.
L-Glutamine really seems to help. Thinking about using it 3 times a day for awhile. I think it would be beneficial.
It's funny - I've gone longer without drinking. The difference is that this time, I'm not planning on when I'm going to drink again. I've just stopped. I'm not saying never again. But, I certainly am not planning on it again. It's such a freeing feeling. Like this huge load has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ok - enough rambling. Time to sleep.
I really am hoping to get around here and talk to people tomorrow. Everyone here is so nice. :l

[ronnie]

Nora's journey

Nora - Its funny because when I decided to NEVER drink again, everything seemed so much easier to cope with, I dont get any cravings - well hardly any, I think once you have made your mind up to do something and not put a date to it, it makes things more simple - if you know what I mean
Well done on your A/F day, keep up the good work

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Day 8

Another wonderful AF day!! Got to hurry. I'm late for work again. Why do I do this??? I've been lazing in bed for an hour.
I just wanted to make a quick reply to Ronnie. I agree that once I got that date frame out of my head, things got easier. I had been struggling because we are going to a concert at the end of the month. It was going to be an 'alcohol' night. I have been fretting over how to either have just 'one'. Which I know I will not do. Or how to say I am not drinking. I am not ready to get into this with these particular people. So, I have finally decided that I am going to say that I'm taking some medication and I can't drink. That's all I have to say. So simple. The truth......I'm taking the Topamax and shouldn't be drinking anyway. I don't have to go into detail. They won't know what medicine or anything. They'll just say - oh geez - that's too bad. It's all going to be good. Once I got that figured out in my head, things got so much easier.
Ok - I have got to rush. I have got to stop laying in bed for an hour on work days. :H

[NoraC]

Nora's journey

Day 9

Day 9 - Didn't really have cravings today. Nice. Did have some thoughts......
Wondering if I'll ever drink again. At this point I don't see myself as being able to 'mod'. Oh well - way too early to even think about that. As far as I'm concerned, that is months away.
Having a great time with the kids. They have been bickering. Over nothing. Since we have an only child, we didn't go thru this sibling rivalry. :H Anyway, I took my niece and we had a pedicure this evening. Hubby and our son took my nephew to a Farmer's market and they had a fun time too. There was a petting zoo that my nephew really enjoyed.
Very fun day.