What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

[Changed1]

I woke up at 2 a.m. overwhelmed at how this life of mine has turned out. I'll be an age in Sept. that just has me freaked out. I wish I would have taken all of this far more seriously when I was younger. Yes, I've been through six or seven rehabs but have pretty much lived my life as if it were a dress rehearsal - no more, this is it. Time to find some happiness in life before it's over.

Anyway, I know many of you are further along on this path than me. I know many of you are younger than me. I know many of us are struggling to rebuild our lives. So what are/were the baby steps (I'm a firm believer in baby steps) you take/took to finally pull things together? I just muddle through each day trying to do something here and there. I'd like to hear how you go about/went about things.

[sunshine_gg]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

Muddling through pretty much hits the nail on the head

Truly one day at a time was the magic recipe for me, I think. I took several runs at 3 days AF, then 4, then 5. Once I made it to 5 I was determined to make it 7. Also, I had a 'buddy' doing the 7 days with me (here, on MWO). That helped tremendously. Didn't want to let him down.

I really didn't have a solid PLAN (still don't) but I'm learning to really observe myself, my thinking, my reactions. And, with the occasional hickup, alter my behaviour.

[42cat]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

In the beginning, it was definitely a muddling through thing, as I tapered down from my quart-a-day habit (rum/vodka), switched to beer, and went through withdrawals, etc. For that, it was sheer determination to change, and anger at AL. I think, like you, my age had part to do with it. Sometimes, I wonder where the time went. It seems like yesterday, I was 20 with my whole future ahead of me. I didn't worry about getting older .. I had all the time in the world........ Then, almost as if overnight, I'm 44 - and my oldest is 20. How did this happen? And why did I drink my way through a lot of those years? Stupid stupid stupid.

Oops, I've ranted. ..... Then I started thinking away from "oh my god, what have I done with my life" ... and more toward "I have sooooo much future potential ahead of me - I want to be happy" ... and I consciously make sure I'm focussing on the positives I've accomplished. That really helps with how I feel about myself.

Those, for me, were my first baby-steps. Then I started adding on to them ... making changes in my life. ANY changes. I didn't care, as long as they were changes. Changes to my thinking (catching myself in a bad or destructive thought and forcing myself to think of something else) .. changes to my routine (taking a bubble bath in the evening instead of a shower in the morning) .. doing new or extra things (a daily walk after supper, trying a new hobby, visit to the pool or gym, cleaning out a drawer, etc.). In September, I'm going to take a course or two in the evening - something I've always wanted to do, but couldn't because I'd drank all day long.

Anyway, that's what's been working for me. Little by little, I feel like I'm changing. I have to admit, I'm not exactly fond of this "transition" feeling and I'm waiting for it to take hold and turn into something more "real" ... but I know I'm on my way.

.......... As usual, I've turned a simple answer into a looooonnng post.

[dexterhead]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

Hello Changed, Sunshine, 42Cat. I have been reading your posts recently and feel you are helping me. I am trying hard to get my shit together and hope to tomorrow (7/23) have another first day AF. I am 46, and I am struggling. DAMN I NEED TO DO THIS!

[Changed1]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

dexterhead;672082 wrote: Hello Changed, Sunshine, 42Cat. I have been reading your posts recently and feel you are helping me. I am trying hard to get my shit together and hope to tomorrow (7/23) have another first day AF. I am 46, and I am struggling. DAMN I NEED TO DO THIS!

Dang Dexter! This makes me even older than you! So take heart. Yeah, it's a tough road to hoe I always say. I know you can do this! Just do anything to get you through the day, even if this means doing nothing more than flopping on the sofa and zoning out on TV (which I've been doing a lot of lately, but it works for me!) Hang in there. First days are always the hardest but when you do this, you'll have renewed self confidence and on to day two!

[Changed1]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

42cat;671718 wrote: In the beginning, it was definitely a muddling through thing, as I tapered down from my quart-a-day habit (rum/vodka), switched to beer, and went through withdrawals, etc. For that, it was sheer determination to change, and anger at AL. I think, like you, my age had part to do with it. Sometimes, I wonder where the time went. It seems like yesterday, I was 20 with my whole future ahead of me. I didn't worry about getting older .. I had all the time in the world........ Then, almost as if overnight, I'm 44 - and my oldest is 20. How did this happen? And why did I drink my way through a lot of those years? Stupid stupid stupid.

Oops, I've ranted. ..... Then I started thinking away from "oh my god, what have I done with my life" ... and more toward "I have sooooo much future potential ahead of me - I want to be happy" ... and I consciously make sure I'm focussing on the positives I've accomplished. That really helps with how I feel about myself.

Those, for me, were my first baby-steps. Then I started adding on to them ... making changes in my life. ANY changes. I didn't care, as long as they were changes. Changes to my thinking (catching myself in a bad or destructive thought and forcing myself to think of something else) .. changes to my routine (taking a bubble bath in the evening instead of a shower in the morning) .. doing new or extra things (a daily walk after supper, trying a new hobby, visit to the pool or gym, cleaning out a drawer, etc.). In September, I'm going to take a course or two in the evening - something I've always wanted to do, but couldn't because I'd drank all day long.

Anyway, that's what's been working for me. Little by little, I feel like I'm changing. I have to admit, I'm not exactly fond of this "transition" feeling and I'm waiting for it to take hold and turn into something more "real" ... but I know I'm on my way.

.......... As usual, I've turned a simple answer into a looooonnng post.

Loooooonng post most welcome here Cat. I love what you say about the changes. Effective today, I am going to do some small changes just to shake things up a bit. I like the shift in the thinking too. I shall practice that as well. Thanks!

[Changed1]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

sunshine_gg;671711 wrote: Muddling through pretty much hits the nail on the head

Truly one day at a time was the magic recipe for me, I think. I took several runs at 3 days AF, then 4, then 5. Once I made it to 5 I was determined to make it 7. Also, I had a 'buddy' doing the 7 days with me (here, on MWO). That helped tremendously. Didn't want to let him down.

I really didn't have a solid PLAN (still don't) but I'm learning to really observe myself, my thinking, my reactions. And, with the occasional hickup, alter my behaviour.

Thank heavens I am not the only one who experiences the muddling through sensation. I made it through another day so this makes 3 out of 10 days I drank. I am shooting for a completely AL free experience, but right now just cutting myself some slack and am satisfied with the progress so far. It's way better than I've done in a LONG time. Thanks for your post!

[irish eyes]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

My muddling consists of saying to myself 'just for today I will not drink'

[mooderator]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

I just read the posts here and I thought that what SUNSHINEGG said absolutely resonated with me. Being here has taught he to self reflect, learn what my triggers are, when I can handle a drink ( I am a modder) and when I cant etc. Its a change in thinking that is almost imperceptable because it happens a little at a time. I wrote a blog thing right from the beginning and it has been the backbone of what I have done here.

good luck with your journey and babysteps...love moo

[Changed1]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

Thanks all. I will make a couple of baby changes today, but not sure what. I should really get a new hairdo, but that would be rather drastic (hair is very long but I'm getting to "older woman" status so I suppose I SHOULD cut it - don't really want to though).

Right now I'm feeling frustrated today and should probably change my mood if there is a frustrated. I'm frustrated with the lack of face to face resources for support in the community. I know AA is everywhere and I WILL go to a meeting tonight. Having said this, my first meeting was 32 years ago (didn't really mention this before as I didn't feel like it, as it's painful to think about the dearth of resources other than AA, for the 32 years I have been fighting this condition). Sometimes I feel like drinking after a meeting, so I have to be careful. Nonetheless, I'll go and not drink. I hope. I'll give it a whirl.

[Boss.man]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

Welcome Changed!

I think for me it is just one day at a time, and one step at a time. I used to slip a lot. But I work hard on my triggers and on identifying what my needs are. For me, it's a victory to hit a trigger time/event and not feel it any more.

I'm working on self awareness and dealing with my own mid-life issues. It sometimes feels like all my hopes and dreams in old days have not come, and now won't come, and I'll never be right. But then I'll get my L-Glut, check in here, and remember that it's all a matter of perspective. I just need to focus on my perspective, on affirming myself, and having hopeful and joyful moments. One day at a time.

Keep going.

[Changed1]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

Boss.man;672665 wrote: Welcome Changed!

I think for me it is just one day at a time, and one step at a time. I used to slip a lot. But I work hard on my triggers and on identifying what my needs are. For me, it's a victory to hit a trigger time/event and not feel it any more.

I'm working on self awareness and dealing with my own mid-life issues. It sometimes feels like all my hopes and dreams in old days have not come, and now won't come, and I'll never be right. But then I'll get my L-Glut, check in here, and remember that it's all a matter of perspective. I just need to focus on my perspective, on affirming myself, and having hopeful and joyful moments. One day at a time.

Keep going.

THANK YOU! I was just thinking what I've bolded and what you've said this a.m. I so hope I am wrong. And I do hope you find your dreams can still come true and that you will be right! You are dead on in your approach. I will have to investigate the L-Glut. I'm not sure I can take it with the other meds I take. I'll ask my Dr. next week. If he gives me the green light to take the supplements, I'll do it. I'm already on a cocktail of psychotropic drugs that are acting on my neurotransmitters, so I need his ok.

Yes, yes, one day at a time and this too shall pass. THANKS!

[LilBit]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

Changed, don't be too surprised if your Dr. (particularly if he's here in the US) doesn't have a lot to say about the L-glut interaction. Many of our physicians know a great deal more about pharmaceuticals than supplements and nutrition. Good luck with it, and please let us know how it goes.

For anyone who feels like the dreams they once had will never come true, remember this saying by C.S. Lewis about broken dreams: "Dream again, only deeper."

[TakeHeart]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

Hi Changed1,

Thanks for the post. I'm definitely muddling through right now and enjoyed what others had to say about getting out of this funk. I want a more rewarding and exciting life. I thought that stopping drinking would be the answer since I'd be free to go out and enjoy things that I'd normally be too drunk to drive to attend. I also thought I'd get energized about my job again. Quite frankly, I don't love my job and thought if I stopped drinking I could get excited about it. I'm in sales and it has been very frustrating the last few years...working with out the reward of cashing a paycheck. Truth be told, my drinking obviously has played a part in that.

Sorry for rambling. I just thought not drinking would magically give me a new life. Only 5 days into the journey and am on the brink of caving. But, thanks again for the post! I'll try your baby step approach.

[sunshine_gg]

What are/were your baby steps to getting your life back?

Changed... leave them hairs alone!! :H I cut my hair, I think when I turned 40... and REGRETTED IT! I will NEVER have purple curls!

To all of you/us... dreams usually don't just 'come true'... either we have to MAKE them come true or have to be ready (emotionally, or whatever) to embrace/accept them when they do.

And, Bossman... you are SO right... it's a matter of perspective and attitude. I sometimes have to remind myself that it takes as much energy to be miserable as it takes to be happy