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    #1

    Mom is gone, time to start over...

    so it was a long week and no I did not stay sober. i drank 3 times but none of them were crazy blackout drunks but certainly not "just a couple". Sadly but gladly my mom has a bad back and was loaded with painkillers so I partaked in those and i wasn't as up for drinking. Doesn't make sense to trade on drug for the other but sometimes that is how it goes. She was her normal self and one night her and my aunt decided in their drunken stupor to get in my face about my parenting whhich is such a joke since my mom was never there and i practically raised myself and she gave my sister away when she was 4....we are good parents, very good parents...my kids are just kids with strong personalities and i should not have to make excuses to anyone. so they had me crying and knocking down my already low self esteem...my husband can't stand it. It makes him sooo mad. He says it takes me months to get over a one week visit....needless to say here I go again. Day 2, no drinking....i have so much to keep me busy this next month...i will start with that...i'll be close to the boards...thanks for listening
    I must suppress the beast within so I can find my way out of the darkness.
    sober since 2/4/12
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    #2
    Mom is gone, time to start over...

    That's tough, Star. Stay here. I wish I could say something to make it better for you today, but you know the score, sounds like. Lets work on getting you tough enough you don't have another mommy visit like that. Let me suggest you read the book 'Mother-Daughter Wisdom' by Chrisiane Northrup. It might help you make peace with yourself.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      #3
      Mom is gone, time to start over...

      Starfairy, I don't have much to offer except a raft of these....

      :l

      :groupluv:


      :hug:


      :huggy

      Your post asked for no advice, no information, just support. Hope you felt that from me!!!!

      Hang in there, and great job on Day 2 AF.

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        #4
        Mom is gone, time to start over...

        Sorry for the X-post, Hi Rubes.

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          #5
          Mom is gone, time to start over...

          Hi Scrubs!
          sigpic
          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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            #6
            Mom is gone, time to start over...

            I can so relate to the recovery time needed after a visit. I am the same way with my mom. At times it would be easier just not to have any visiits, but in my case they are required. Usually I am the one who needs the drinks to get through it, as my mom doesn't drink and she drives me crazy.

            I am glad to see you here posting though. May as well just get back on that horse and ride. Maybe between now and the next visit there will be a way for you to set some boundaries, shorten the visiting time, etc so that this can be the last time you have to recover. You are not alone in this.
            ^ My Baby Ruby ^

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              #7
              Mom is gone, time to start over...

              Onward and upward Star!!
              We'll be your support system:-)
              "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

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                #8
                Mom is gone, time to start over...

                star glad to have you back stay strong and keep thinking positive .. keep posting and we are here you
                :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
                best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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                  #9
                  Mom is gone, time to start over...

                  Star, I'm so sorry you had such a brutal visit with your mom ... ((hugs)) ... I know it must have been horrible to listen to all that was said - but you know that it's not the truth. Keep telling yourself all of the good things that you know are true, and don't give that other undeserving stuff any room in your thoughts.

                  And big congrrats to you to jumping back on the wagon now that the visit is over!
                  AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Mom is gone, time to start over...

                    thanks everyone for the nice words...
                    just reading it all makes me feel so guilty that i even feel that way towards my mother....she always says she did the best that she could when i was growing up but i can't help to think that is not true...i was there and watched her choose men and partying over me....

                    OneToo Many...I feel the same way as you as that there is no reason to rub it in her face. i was in therapy for a short time when i went sober last december and her wanted me to do all these this like confront her and write her letters and i just felt like "no i can't do that to her, I am trying to get over my past not ruin my future"

                    I am just happy we live 7 hours away but i still feel like such a horrible person as she pulls away this morning and she is crying so hard...i just wait for her to pull out of the drive way so I can breathe again.
                    I must suppress the beast within so I can find my way out of the darkness.
                    sober since 2/4/12

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Mom is gone, time to start over...

                      That's a good idea Oney and it makes sense. I'm sure all of us can probably think of someone we can write a letter to (not actually send it) and remove our burden.

                      Everything I need is within me!

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