Hiya all,
If there's one thing i have learnt from rehab and past experiance it is not to become over confident. To not let my guard down for one minute.
I thought that after rehab when i got home that resisting alcahol would be very difficult.. It has been the opposite, i have honestly thought seriously about alcahol only a handful of times. This is worrying me a little, is my mind forming a master plan to try a full frontal assault at a later date.. OR ( as i'd like to think ) i have actually had enough ) I dont want it anymore. It is still early days i know but i'm hoping the change in me and the effect it is having on my family and i will be enough to finally to finally close a very dark chapter in our lives.
The detox and rehab like a lot of things was a lot of worrying about nothing for me. After the inital trauma of the first 3 days, sweating at an olympic level, shakes, and mentally planning my escape i soon settled into a relaxing routine and a sleep pattern i had long forgotten. The group sessions were my biggest surprise, being in a room with actual real people really was out of my comfort zone, but i found myself speaking up and actually contributing..ME who imagined myself previosly in the build up to be hid under a chair and avoiding eye contact. Thats another thing have and will continue to do..FACE MY FEARS.. Some things are never going to just go away and tackling a problem head on and dealing with that situation there and then will just stop an unsumountable amount of needless worrying. Another thing i learned is that people detox at different levels and in different ways. I count myself quite lucky with mine, ( it was uncomfortable but do'able), some people drank less than me but had a far worse detox, others more but had a better detox. Everybody is different. The unit could hold upto 16 clients but i was there while it was relativly quiet, 14 at most and down to 8 at the lowest. It sounds corney but we were all there for eachother, i made a few good friends and am actually going on a fishing trip with a lad from Preston in about a month, and am still in contact with with 2 other lads aswell, the conversation never goes flat with such a commen interest
The hardest part was being away from Lisa and the kids, other people have told us the time went very quickly where as i thought it seamed to take forever. Being home and sober is as good if not better than i imagined. Whether it was my paranoia when i was drinking or its real i just feel like i am being taken seriously, my opinion matters, i am being listened to. It's like i have a new found respect for myself and from others and i like it very much.
My biggest concern in the past was not being able to drink again..EVER. The difference this time is that now...Thats a good thing.
If there's one thing i have learnt from rehab and past experiance it is not to become over confident. To not let my guard down for one minute.
I thought that after rehab when i got home that resisting alcahol would be very difficult.. It has been the opposite, i have honestly thought seriously about alcahol only a handful of times. This is worrying me a little, is my mind forming a master plan to try a full frontal assault at a later date.. OR ( as i'd like to think ) i have actually had enough ) I dont want it anymore. It is still early days i know but i'm hoping the change in me and the effect it is having on my family and i will be enough to finally to finally close a very dark chapter in our lives.
The detox and rehab like a lot of things was a lot of worrying about nothing for me. After the inital trauma of the first 3 days, sweating at an olympic level, shakes, and mentally planning my escape i soon settled into a relaxing routine and a sleep pattern i had long forgotten. The group sessions were my biggest surprise, being in a room with actual real people really was out of my comfort zone, but i found myself speaking up and actually contributing..ME who imagined myself previosly in the build up to be hid under a chair and avoiding eye contact. Thats another thing have and will continue to do..FACE MY FEARS.. Some things are never going to just go away and tackling a problem head on and dealing with that situation there and then will just stop an unsumountable amount of needless worrying. Another thing i learned is that people detox at different levels and in different ways. I count myself quite lucky with mine, ( it was uncomfortable but do'able), some people drank less than me but had a far worse detox, others more but had a better detox. Everybody is different. The unit could hold upto 16 clients but i was there while it was relativly quiet, 14 at most and down to 8 at the lowest. It sounds corney but we were all there for eachother, i made a few good friends and am actually going on a fishing trip with a lad from Preston in about a month, and am still in contact with with 2 other lads aswell, the conversation never goes flat with such a commen interest
The hardest part was being away from Lisa and the kids, other people have told us the time went very quickly where as i thought it seamed to take forever. Being home and sober is as good if not better than i imagined. Whether it was my paranoia when i was drinking or its real i just feel like i am being taken seriously, my opinion matters, i am being listened to. It's like i have a new found respect for myself and from others and i like it very much.
My biggest concern in the past was not being able to drink again..EVER. The difference this time is that now...Thats a good thing.
ray:
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