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    #1

    Judgeing Others

    This is a problem i have being dealing with the last few days,why do we judge people ?.
    whether it is giving that girl in the too-fit outfit a crappy glance or talking about people who sometimes makes mistakes, What gives me or anyone the right to say anything, the last few days i have thinking about this a lot, I am supposing here but i think we all do our fair share,but why ? Is it jealousy ? or do we really have a dislike for certain people,do we think we are superior than people that we haven't even met,nothing feels worse than judgeing someone, even online, then getting to know them a little better and feeling like an ass that you were,Sometimes the circumstances that led us to judge others are not true or not the whole story,What sort of person does that make you or me,we all have done & said things in the past that we are not proud of, I no i have. if someone only knew about you & they dont know the real you they take it upon themselves to figure you are a bad person, I have been judged many a time and its not nice,but why do i still judge others,I suppose the human mind likes to categorise people and fit them into little cubby holes it makes it easier to deal with them.Anyway i am aware of this problem with me and am dealing with it,just one of many issue,s that i have found out about myself since becoming soberfeels good to get it out


    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.
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    #2
    Judgeing Others

    Hey Mario ... I have had similar thoughts. I think it's human nature .. to observe and have an opinion, etc. Heck, I need to lose weight (damn booze), but I will look at other overweight people and think "he/she should lose 20 lbs .. those pants are just wrong .. etc." But, at the same time, I also think "who am I to criticize .. he/she is just a person .. probably a nice one .. shouldn't matter what they look like ... they look better than me anyway, so who am I to judge?"

    Funny how the mind works. I think it's good that you're aware of it .... and so am I ..... A lot of people just criticize - and enjoy it... as if it makes them superior or something. That's not nice.

    Your head is in a good place.
    AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

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      #3
      Judgeing Others

      Mario, that is thought provoking. I know that since I have been sober, I am more tolerant and compassionate, much less judgemental. But I know there is still lots of work to be done. I am working on it :-)
      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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        #4
        Judgeing Others

        Me too starty.
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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          #5
          Judgeing Others

          Me three.

          DG
          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

          One day at a time.

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            #6
            Judgeing Others

            i love everyone.. just dont piss me off .. ha ha
            :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
            best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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              #7
              Judgeing Others

              Judge not, lest ye be judged.
              sigpic
              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                #8
                Judgeing Others

                I hear ya Ruby!
                I think we judge out of fear, jealousy and sometimes just plain, old fashioned ignorance!
                We all need to knock it off
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                  #9
                  Judgeing Others

                  A very wise therapist once told me, "When we judge others, we're really judging ourselves." If you think about it, it makes sense. Do the things that burn you up about other people (for me, it's displays of rudeness, selfishness, etc.) have their roots in unresolved issues in your past, or in hidden little pockets of faults that reside in your "shadow side?" Food for thought...
                  "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

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                    #10
                    Judgeing Others

                    Mario, thanks for starting this very important topic. Very often we not only judge others but we can judge ourselves mercilessly at least I can. I cannot keep thoughts from coming into my head, but I do have a choice whether to entertain them or not. Am I making the choices I want to make or is habit making my choices for me? A change of attitude means a change in the way I think. My thoughts are my teachers, are they teaching me to love and appreciate myself as others or are they teaching me to remain in isolation? Today I try to extend to others the respect, patience and courtesy that I want for myself.

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                      #11
                      Judgeing Others

                      Beautifully said, I.E.
                      sigpic
                      Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                      awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                        #12
                        Judgeing Others

                        Hi Mario - I think this is part of the "human condition". Part of our nature to judge others - mainly to make ourselves feel better, I think.

                        But... remember the ol' "don't judge a book by its cover"? That's what happened (so famously!) with Susan Boyle, the singer who just didn't LOOK the part!

                        I agree with LilBit - it's also that we're more aware of other's faults that resemble our own! I think Awareness is the key. And it sounds like you've become aware - which is a Good Thing.
                        Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                          #13
                          Judgeing Others

                          Ego
                          "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                          Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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                            #14
                            Judgeing Others

                            Hippie, So glad to see you posting again. Your looking good too!! Hang in there, sweet boy!
                            sigpic
                            Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                            awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                              #15
                              Judgeing Others

                              Mario,

                              Very good post!

                              I am a member of several other forums, not related to alcohol/addiction. We have had this very topic discussed lately.

                              Thanks

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