A MUST READ

[southernbelle47]

dateline.msnbc

Audrey's story

We all have loved ones on the roads........

Nancy:h

[wellseasoned]

A MUST READ

I read this and I agree that it is a MUST READ for all of us.

[sujul]

A MUST READ

Ditto. This is a totally heartbreaking reminder to ALL of us....

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14627442/

susan

[southernbelle47]

A MUST READ

Just want to keep this one at the top for a while!

[RoseKat]

A MUST READ

That's an incredibly terrifying story. Makes me wonder if moderation is a realistic goal after all.

[Eliziby]

A MUST READ

I saw the date line show that aired on Fri. eve. and it was certainly an eye opener to say the least. I'm not sure how I felt about her entire story. I think like those of us here, moderation is for some but definately not for others. For some abstenance is the only way. I think Audrey might have been one of those. The fact that she had a problem with benging made moderation more difficult for her. The night of the fatal accident, she was benging on hard liquor (vodka). Not slowly sipping for the evening on beer or wine. She didn't remember any events of the evening until she woke up in the hospital. Maybe moderation is only for certain types of drinkers. Maybe I'm all wrong and only thinking wishfully, but this is sort of how I see it. However it may be, we all need to take a long hard look at ourselves before deciding which is right for us.

[mikeupnorth]

A MUST READ

Absolutely horrifying. I had a DUI almost 5 years ago now, and was in a semi-blackout state (I guess you'd call it a "gray-out") when I was pulled over. I have almost no memory of driving away from the bar that night, except that I do recall falling down on the way to the car.... That should have given me a clue that I was not fit to drive. When I hear stories like Audrey's, I think that could have been me. Luckily I got off with a $5,000 fine and attorney bill and 10 days in jail. Yes, it was a pretty tough sentence for a first offense but Arizona enforces stiff penalties for "extreme" DUI -- and I deserved it. I'm just glad I got stopped and I didn't hurt anyone.

Anyway, moderation vs. abstinence is something I've spent a lot of time thinking about since I first heard of MWO (and in fact, for a long time before). I've tried both, and had limited success, and fallen flat on my face also. Since I've been on topa, I have been able to have a couple of beers and stop there without any trouble. But the problem with that is I still miss getting the buzz. I miss getting drunk and doing all the other stupid stuff that goes along with it. So I end up getting some vodka and drinking a lot of it and bam! back at square one. So while there are times I can drink moderately, there is also a part of me that does not WANT to drink moderately. And as long as that little monster lives within me, I am not sure I should give it the slightest leverage (e.g. a beer, glass of wine, whatever) because I don't want to make it any stronger than it already is.

Another thing I think about it is this: if I can truly "take it or leave it" -- then why not just leave it? Why go to such efforts to set up rules and matrices of what I can drink and when and how much, when it would be so much simpler just to say "I don't drink"?

I'm not saying I will never drink again. I'm committing to this for a month at a time, and God knows I am famous for waffling. But that's where I'm coming from today.

Mike

[wellseasoned]

A MUST READ

Mike
I agree with what you said 100%. It is much easier to say I don't than I might or I do but just a little bit. At least for me. I am like you - I can't just have a little. A little always turns into alot. It must be the way I am wired, genetics or maybe my history. Whatever it is I am aware of it now and have, as a responsible adult, made the decision to abstain. All I have to do is spend time with my Dad, who knows that drinking affects his health in a negative way and continues to drink...who knows that drinking and driving is wrong but continues to endanger the lives of his loved ones and others....who knows that drinking changes his behavior but has now found ways to seclude himself after he knows he has crossed over (hence making for a very lonely time for him and those that love him after about 9 PM)....who must know that it breaks my heart to watch my father waste away like this - when he is such a vibrant and wonderful person with so much to offer. It is painful to watch someone you love so much will themselves to die so alone.
Anyway....for me a seed was planted when my daughter's problem with alcohol first made it to the radar screen in early summer...was watered in July when I spent a week with my Dad and then became a seedling plant when my daughter had her second dui. The way I see it, it is a plant of health and awareness I water for my daughter and I every day by not drinking - abstaining. I can't help my Dad, but I can help my daughter and I can set the example for my youngest son. My older daughter does not have the problem, but the example for her does not hurt either as her Dad will always be setting the weekend binge/drinking and driving example which never helped me when I was married to him either.
Ok. Enough. This is a rant, sorry. But I do agree with you, Mike. Some of us know, deep inside, that we just can't really moderate. Being honest with ourselves takes strength and support. Strength we have to pull up from the inside - support we can find here!!!
Thanks for listening!
Jenn

[mikeupnorth]

A MUST READ

Jenn, I can understand how heartbreaking it is to have an alcoholic parent. And the worst part of it is there's really nothing you (we) can do about it.

My mom drinks bourbon and coke most nights, as she has for the past 40 years. Some nights she gets drunk, other nights not. But she always has at least three or four drinks... sometimes she drinks to the point of stumbling to bed and passing out. She also smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day. She is 60 years old and disabled now with osteoperosis, hypertension, depression and anxiety. All of these are either a direct result of her drinking and smoking or at least are made worse by it. Thank God she never drinks and drives. But she is certainly killing herself, slowly but surely, and it kills me to see it.

As for your kids, at least you have a chance to influence them a bit more.... of course the choice is ultimately up to them, but they are young, and you can talk to them and hopefully they will see that you are working hard to do something about your own drinking -- and will listen.

It's amazing how our society sees alcochol as a benign substance and that it is legal at all. It should come with a skull & crossbones on the bottle.

Hang in there. We've woken up to the truth and maybe our loved ones will someday too.

Mike

[lushy]

A MUST READ

Interesting discussion

This has been interesting to read and once again glad to know I am not the only one struggling. I am starting to come to the realization that moderation is probably not for me because I cannot stop at 1-2. I want that buzz. It makes me sick and sad that I inherited this genetic nightmare and that I might have to consider giving up wine altogether. But why does it bother me when it is worse to be hungover and have the SEVERE depression and anxiety I have that I know is caused by drinking? What the hell kind of logic is that? I went almost four days last week AF and I have to say, although I did not do it for very long, I did not see any immediate positive outcomes so it makes it hard for me to be motivated to do more. Not one ounce of water weight lost, actually had worse sleep than usual, etc. I know I cannot expect miracles overnight but hey being an alcoholic means I want instant gratification, right? I expected to have lost at least 3-5 pounds and to wake up full of energy every day. No such luck. My bio dad died from alcoholism at the age of 52 so I know I MUST make a change. Ironically enough I never once saw him drunk because he was actually dry from the time I was born until my parents divorced at the age of 11 and then he started up again but became a reclusive hermit and I never saw him again. Goes to show the genetics of it is a real thing.......................Thanks for letting me spew my thoughts....

[princesskat]

A MUST READ

I just got done reading the dateline story and immediatly came here to see what the reaction was. Very shocking and also very sad to see what happened to her and the fact that her kids won't have much to do with her. I know moderation is tough but I can't see being AF right now. I do need to up my topa. Goodness, what would we do without topa and MYO? Thanks RJ....
Kat

[RoseKat]

A MUST READ

Lush and Mike, you said it very well. Why do we continue to do this to ourselves? Why DO we enjoy the buzz so much that the consequences mean so little? Even when we get to the top of the buzz, another beer or glass of wine would go down real nice.

And why, when we begin a program to abstain or reduce drinking, DOESN’T it feel better, when we need the motivation the most? I can tell you that when I started out with this program, I couldn’t even begin to THINK about starting to exercise until the 3rd week. My body needed the time to heal from the punishment of alcohol abuse. Maybe the Topa was also making me tired. And because I was NOT hung over, it felt like my body was actually ill.

At present, my goal is for moderation, but I have an idea that may evolve into abstaining for good. After reading the story about Audrey, I am going to carefully monitor my own drinking habits to decide what is best for myself long term. Of course, she didn’t have the advantage of this program of Topa, supps, hypno, etc. But I don’t expect to remain supported by Topa forever. One day we have to toss the crutches and make it on our own, right?

Here’s a question for you: How will we know when it’s time to stop taking Topa?

Kat

[southernbelle47]

A MUST READ

Drinking and driving is such an important issue, I just wanted to keep this near the top for awhile.

This hasn't happened to me or you....YET.......
Nancy:l

[YoungAtHeart]

A MUST READ

Bump!

[lorik]

A MUST READ

oooooh

Saw the story and wept,

So sad but true nonetheless. I said many months ago, what if RJ had problems, Would SHE be able to come to us and speak freely? Would she be able to "vent" and get rid of pent up frustration SHE feels? I watched this Dateline program and wondered. I hope we truly are free and that everyone can heal with impunity.

Love ya,
Lori