Any advice would be appeciated.
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Okay, I am charting new waters with my son. He is 13 and now says he has a "girlfriend" I gave him the whole speech about not really a girlfriend as he is too young. But more of a friend that is a girl. I'm sure it came out blah,blah,blah to him. I've also had conversations about the "birds and the bees" so to speak. As any boy his age I know he is curious. He doesn't have a dad and I'm just not sure what advice or the words I can use. I'm not sure anything coming from Mom in this area is going to be helpful.
Any advice would be appeciated.:flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.
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I don't have boys (two girls, 16 and 20) ... but I've always found that keeping the lines of communication open has helped immensely ... I'm sure they don't tell me everything, but I think that being open about most "stuff" keeps their thoughts in a good place.
If you're looking for words to use .. I think the word "respect" would be at the top of my list. A boyfriend should always respect his gal's feelings, wishes, etc. (And, of course, it goes both ways.)
It's hard being the parent of a budding teen, isn't it! I thinking communication (as with any relationship) is key. Good luck .. and let us know how it goes!AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.
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OMG Yikes is right.
I want to just tell him he is too young and put an end to the whole thing but I don't think that is the way to go either. I'm sure he would just resent me for it and want to hide it more. I am trying to be open minded. He has always struggled with friendships so I don't want to hinder him now that he has found one, just cause its a girl.
My gut tells me to #1 open communication (like cat said) and #2 No alone time. As long as they are with a group or supervised I'm okay with it.
LOL :H Just when I thought I was "getting" the teen thing......I thought I had more time to adjust. Heaven help me.:flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.
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... It'll be OK. It's nice that he has a gal. Remember how you were when you were 13. I started getting interested in boys when I was 10. It's a nice feeling ... kind of a new thing ... a path to growing up ... But it has to be done carefully, for sure.
It's not easy being a mom! Have you met the gal yet?AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.
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Yes, I've met her. She and her family seem nice.
It really is kind of sweet. I was watching them in the backyard on the trampoline and just the look on his face was priceless. A real "aaawww" moment for me.
I just want to keep him safe. Even though I know there are life lessons I cannot help him through and really shouldn't even try. Just be there to support him I guess.:flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.
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Hi akgirl.
I'm a guy and all I remember about being thirteen was working on a farm during the summer and finding thirteen year old girls repulsive. I was always terrified of girls as a kid and a very late developer.
My dad was useless at giving us that kind of advice and it was from my mother that we gleaned the relevant information. I don't think we had the sit-down lecture, but rather ongoing hints and tips. There was a lot about respect and taking our time and not being afraid to ask her anything. She let it be known that it wasn't a race and that anything we heard in the schoolyard was probably all made up, which it usually was. She was great.
I tried sitting my son down one day but he just smiled wryly and told me not to worry and that he'd be fine. He's got the confidence that I was lacking as well as his own. He's doing OK in that department. My wife took all the sex education duties when it came to my daughter and I think that's how it should be.
Good luck with your son. It's scary, but also exciting to watch them grow up and reach another level of development.
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well these day and ages are getting knock up way too ealty .. babies having babies 13 and 16 yeard old girls having kids at 13 and 16 of age .. they are going to do it anyway why not just make sure he does it safe .. thats all i meant akgirl:beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..
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I know what you are talking abou T, its a different world we live in that's for sure. I'm not sure I'm ready to give him condoms just yet. I am going to make sure there is no opportunity.
I am happy for him....puppy love....awwww
I remember mine ( about a bizillion years ago LOL):flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.
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I think the mistake you made was undermining his decision, his big decision to tell you he had a girl friend, he prob worked himself up to telling you that and you shot him back to been a kid again. Try and put yourself in his shoes and meet him half way and fyi, how in the name of God are you going to make sure he has no oppertunity?? And by even trying to do that you are building a wall/war between you and your son, and honey, its a war you aint going to win!
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limers;682471 wrote: I think the mistake you made was undermining his decision, his big decision to tell you he had a girl friend, he prob worked himself up to telling you that and you shot him back to been a kid again. Try and put yourself in his shoes and meet him half way and fyi, how in the name of God are you going to make sure he has no oppertunity?? And by even trying to do that you are building a wall/war between you and your son, and honey, its a war you aint going to win!
As for no opportunity.....right now he won't. When he sees her it will amongst friends or under adult supervision. He is only 13, and I don't think he should be spending time alone with a girl. There is just no reason to put him in that position yet.
This is new for both of us, but we have always had an honest open relationship. I trust him and he knows that. I just wanted to make sure he understands the new guidelines.
Thanks for all your help everyone.
:l
Ak:flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.
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yes gia and ak i have had this talk with my two sons .. a while back and then also with my ex-wife and we both agree its better to be perpair and its better to talk with them and buy them what they need .. to make sure there is no misshappes on their part .. and they also know to make sure the time is right and not just with any girl.. but someone they love and care for deeply and respec:beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..
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