Parenting Advice

[scrubbly]

Parenting Advice

Ugh. for once I'm glad my boys are still only 3 and 1. I'll take diapers for now.

Good luck AK! :H

[Brave Hearted]

Parenting Advice

Hi ak
well my advice for what its worth is ( I have two sons one 21 and one 13 who I have brought up alone) is forget the you are to young for a girlfriend thing becaue in his mind he has a girlfriend so just respect that and go with it ( we know he is to young but we are just the boring grown up what do we know ???) I have been where you are I just ask casually how things are going ask laughingly have they kissed held hand etc ( that usually has them on the hop lol) really dont make a big deal of it be casual and open and honest, probably a good idea to discuss the consequences of under age sex pregnancy breaking the law etc ( I know trigs is well intentioned but I must admit I would not feel comfortable buying my 13yr old condoms but hay you know your own child if thats whats needed better that than an unwanted prenacy) I have also told my boys if they get a girl pregnant they will be paying child support for a long time, that hit home lol. Hope this has been helpful And main thing to remember is it all part of frowing up and they are more unsure about all this than we are good luck !

[akgirl]

Parenting Advice

Good advice brave, Thank you

[Brave Hearted]

Parenting Advice

hi just another quick point ak just went back and read wht had been posted you siad you would make sure they had no opp to have sex !!! umm belive me the old saying where there is a will there is a way you cant watch kids 24/7 and at 13 you have to start letting go and have some trust that is backed up by communication and information which you are obviously providing good luck

[Brave Hearted]

Parenting Advice

I am on a roll no ak, surely it to cold in alaska to be removing clothing to have sex anyway ????

[tlrgs]

Parenting Advice

Brave Hearted;682516 wrote: I am on a roll no ak, surely it to cold in alaska to be removing clothing to have sex anyway ????

what they stop rubbing noses now lmao

[akgirl]

Parenting Advice

LOL Let me put it this way, there are alot of babies born in the spring! Not much else to do all winter.
:H

[akgirl]

Parenting Advice

Brave Hearted;682514 wrote: hi just another quick point ak just went back and read wht had been posted you siad you would make sure they had no opp to have sex !!! umm belive me the old saying where there is a will there is a way you cant watch kids 24/7 and at 13 you have to start letting go and have some trust that is backed up by communication and information which you are obviously providing good luck

I do have to start letting go, I am finding it a bit difficult but getting used to the idea. And you are probably right about if there is a will there is a way, but for now I do know where he is and who he is with. That is our deal. I told him as long as he is honest he will have some freedom and be trusted. If that changes then so will our deal.

We are both learning our new relationship and have always been close. I'm optomistic but cautious.

[YoungAtHeart]

Parenting Advice

I agree with keeping communication open, etc. I also think that kids do have a way of doing what they want, no matter how well you think you are keeping track of them. That is why having a good and open relationship with them is the best way to help them through their teenage years.

I have a daughter, but I do believe that boys need the same support as girls, including being taught respect for themselves and exploring their tender, loving, and sexual feelings at the pace that feels comfortable for them. Many boys, as well as girls, have sex too early because everyone else SEEMS to be doing it. Encouraging them to respect their heart is the best thing. Education to prevent an unwanted pregnancy is also good too.

Good luck, akgirl.

[cyclefan]

Parenting Advice

Best wishes from me AKgirl. I raised two boys by myself pretty much, and the teen years were challenging. The best advise I've seen here is to maintain that open communication, don't let it get to the point where they don't tell you the important things. (They will never tell you EVERYTHING!...that is, until enough time has passed, like when they are in their 20's and they start to tell you something, believe me the best thing at that point is to put your fingers in your ears and say LALALALALALA, because they are still alive, and you really, really DO NOT want to know! LOL)

I will say, that the challenge is SO worth it. My boys are 29 and 30 now, and we could not get along better. I think you are doing great, and it is hard without a partner, but then again it is so much easier to do it on your own rather than with a partner who doesn't agree with what you are doing. Keep looking on the bright side. xo Beth

[Boss.man]

Parenting Advice

I'll underline Youngathearts' comments. Teens often act because they think others are doing it. But that isn't the case. Teens live in a harsh world of internal hormones and external peer pressure. Keep communication open. Threaten him with "You don't want to turn out like Levi". And Trlgs is right, keep the condoms in a readily available place, in good supply, and don't count. They can be used as balloons so don't make any assumption if they tend to disappear. We all live through this phase, right?

When I was a teen I had a girlfriend far more sexually mature than I was. She was ready to go, but I was all talk and image. Because of media, i think kids mature at an earlier age, but are still not ready for all the strings. Like Levi.

[Mackeral]

Parenting Advice

My dads birds and the bee's talk was short and, well not very sweet.. He said " Son, you know its not just for pissing out of "

Oh the wisdom.....

I dont think anything we say at this point makes much difference.. It's how we bring our children up and what morals we have installed, or tried to.

[Sweaty Betty]

Parenting Advice

There is a book by Nick Hornby called Slam, about a young skateboarder who gets his girlfriend pregnant, no detail, but well written. Get it and read it yourself (which I did), he might not be mature enough for it at the minute, but its worth keeping in reserve. I've read lots of 'what teenagers do' kind of books and it did make me feel 'better' (although teen1 also read them and reckons they're all cr*p).

Bets
x

[DeeBee]

Parenting Advice

Oh AK, I can't offer much advice as I'm in the same boat with my daughter.
Last year was a disaster with her kissing a boy at school -- embarressing herself, us and the school with her antics.
It all resulted in us banning her from having a boyfriend until her marks improved which they did but she still hasn't had a boyfriend (that I KNOW of)
This year there is a boy who likes her and she has asked us permission to go out with him -- we've given her back the choice to decide for herself and hope to hell that she makes some good decisions this year.

(((AK))) raising teenagers aint for sissys:-)

[beatle]

Parenting Advice

That's crazy

Sweaty Betty;683099 wrote: There is a book by Nick Hornby called Slam, about a young skateboarder who gets his girlfriend pregnant, no detail, but well written. Get it and read it yourself (which I did), he might not be mature enough for it at the minute, but its worth keeping in reserve. I've read lots of 'what teenagers do' kind of books and it did make me feel 'better' (although teen1 also read them and reckons they're all cr*p).

Bets
x

What's crazy is that I was about to write the same thing -- recommend reading Slam. It is great for teenage boys, and especially for parents trying to understand teenage boys.

Also, it is hilarious. I don't think I've ever laughed out loud so many times with any other book I've read (and I am a voracious reader).