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    #1

    Whoops, a slip up

    Well I slipped up last night. We were invited to eat at a neighbours house and he has a fantastic collection of wines in his cellar and I decided to try the Pouligny Montrachet that he had opened. I then had some muscat from a domaine where my partner used to work and then some good burgundy red. It tasted nice and by the end of the evening I could feel myself getting into free pour mode even though I didn't like the way the drink was making me feel.
    We didn't get home too late but I didn't sleep well. I felt I was floating on the edge all night and not deep down in a real sleep. Not the sort of sleep I've had for the last week. Its not suprising I so often feel tired if I've been sleeping like that for so long.
    I went for a 40 minute run this morning to help clear the system out and make me feel better, I felt a bit sicky this morning.
    All in all I think I prefer sober, it was good to be reminded of how drinking feels, both at the time and the after effects as its easy to think that nothing has really changed when you first stop, but it had, so I am now back on my way to long term soberness.
    Suz
    Happy to be sober since 07 Sept 09.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Whoops, a slip up

    Hey Sobermom--
    Sounds as though last night was a good reminder of where you want to be... And thanks so much for your post reminding the rest of us of where we just might need to be too!

    Just wanted to let you know that "Absville" (over on the monthly abstinence board) is a lovely place to live and you'll get a great big welcome if you pop in over there! :l

    :h
    susan
    "I'm a sucker for a good resurrection story." Anne Lamott

    Comment

      #3
      Whoops, a slip up

      Hi Sobermom,

      Yep as I was blow drying my hair this morning, I remembered a few months back bending over to dry to my hair and not feeling well from being hungover. It just feels so good to not overdo!

      Wishing you the best!
      Mary

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        #4
        Whoops, a slip up

        Didn't do well last night either

        Had a splitting headache until noon after having 4 - 5 glasses last night. That was way too much now that I'm on the Topa and I paid. It was also interesting because I realized how much I rationalize my way into thinking it's O.K., or I deserve it under the circumstances, or nobody is going to keep me from having a glass or two if that's what I want to do. Had sat through two solid days of the most boring administrative meetings (I teach highschool) welcoming us back - a big hah-hah! Our school is being renovated and it's one big huge frigging mess. Lucky for me I'm in a portable classroom so I don't have it as bad as others. But the zerox machines were all broken. The elevator didn't work so textbooks and overhead projectors couldn't be distributed, supplies weren't ready, our computer tech quit last week to go to a better situation (can't blame her) so nothing is ready for Tuesday. Then we learn via breaking news that our physics teacher who we've worked with for 16 years and all liked immensely and respected was arrested yesterday by the FBI for having 10,000 pictures of child pornorgraphy on his computer. We're all just blown away. So - didn't little old me tell herself that good friend Chardonnay would be so compforting. I have so much to learn and so much self-honesty to keep facing and discovering. I've had some great success here but too much backsliding. Someone suggested a journal of feelings and I'm going to do that especially for the witching hours. I'm going to write out my rationalizations and story lines that I use on myself. I know I can do this.
        Em

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          #5
          Whoops, a slip up

          Rationalizing

          I absolutely 100% know what you are talking about. The rationalizing to ourselves that we do to "allow" ourselves to drink. My goodness, I realized the other day - I could rationalize a drink any day of the week! ("ive had a bad day", "Ive hada great day!", "Im bored", "Its Thursday", "It's Monday", "Its the weekend", "I deserve it", "I worked hard", "I got through ___(insert anything that might have pissed me off that day, however slight :H - etc. etc. etc. etc. AD NAUSEUM!! ) - for this reason, I think that the diary of some sorts might be a fantastic tool for writing down how we feel, how we rationalize wanting a drink, so we can pinpoint what we are thinking, and how to combat those thoughts. I think I had posted the link to a sample problems/habit diary under a thread called "Habits" but I think I am going to work with the little diary thingy that was suggested there and revise it a bit to make it a little more useful for what we are trying to do (it was a little off point, at least I thought so). Maybe I will create something and we could tailor it to suit our own circumstances? I can post something if you want some sort of starting point? Not that you cant do this for yourself, but since I am doing it anyways, if anyone thinks this might be helpful, I might as well throw it up there for people to use. Coming shortly.
          Hugs all:l
          Jen!
          Over 4 months AF :h

          Comment

            #6
            Whoops, a slip up

            Jen, I think that's a terrific idea. I know that awhile ago my psychiatrist had suggested I write down my thoughts when I felt like I wanted to have a drink but I never did it. It would probably be a great addition to what we're doing with this program. I remember hearing something to do with AA about "stinking thinking." Is that what we're talking about here? (Not that I've ever been to AA). The rationalizations are pretty powerful messages. I'm all for you coming up with something we can us. Thanks. Em

            Comment

              #7
              Whoops, a slip up

              Dear Jen,

              I saw it on mods today. Thank you. It is quite well thought out diary.

              Sobermom and GratefulEm, I had a very difficult time at first during the wtiching hour. I started a new routine for when I came home from work. After I changed into comfy clothes I laid down on the bed and did the hypnotherapy tapes. I would walk away so calm, incredibly calm almost like a wonderful buzz of it's own. then I could filll a big glass of water up and go make dinner in a happy relaxed mood that took all the reasons to drink away. After awhile of that, right after I change my clothes every evening, I breathe deep for a few and put myself right where he had me calm and relaxed. It also got me past the HABIT part. It seemed like a month of that and I don't think about a drink now on the way home or while changing etc.

              Hope these little tips help someone.

              Hugs,
              Mary

              Comment

                #8
                Whoops, a slip up

                great ideas

                Mary thanks for the pointers, as I hadn't even been able to get home without stopping for a beer (BAD!!) for about 3 weeks now, today is my first AF day for that long!!! What a concept, listen to the cds first then make dinner, then, maybe then, have a drink, or not!!! And the diary/journal thing, great idea also Jen (or was it Em?) oh well, forgive me, I am fuzzy today.

                Love and hugs to you all!!:l :h

                Mary Anne

                Comment

                  #9
                  Whoops, a slip up

                  Dear Mary Anne,

                  I have missed you! come back to mods. We can do this together! Go for that first AF day today GOOD FOR YOU!! Sometimes just breaking the cycle can help leap you back into the program.

                  Hugs and Love,
                  Mary

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