Returning to MWO

[Grim]

Returning to MWO

Hey SpiritGirl....I feel for you right now and even though it may appear a cold comfort, you are not alone!

The approach of really and truly taking things one day at a time may seem over simplified but it works.....one foot in front of the other, day by day and before you know it, this will be ancient history!

Cyber hugs :l

[redhibiscus]

Returning to MWO

Welcome Spiritgirl,
How do we start to be AF. I guess one day at a time. I have a plan to start again. I did well for a time, then as the holidays appeared, made excuses and eventually had a bad night again. I felt all the things you described in August and do not want that for my self anymore.

This is my plan: No booze in the house. Stick to a routine. Plan AF fun activities. Exercise daily, even if it is 15 minutes. Eat healthy. Be aware of my witching times: 4-7 p.m. and make it through AF. If I am hungry, eat. Angry, call a friend. Lonely, call a friend. Tired, take a nap.

We have a lovely group of people who would welcome you, the December Determinators. Feel free to join us or just look us up. You are worthy of an AF life as are all of us. Make a plan and let's make 2010 a lifechanging time.

[Sheepish]

Returning to MWO

Hi SG
I remember you-welcome back!
Good to 'see' you again~
-Sheep

[macbarry]

Returning to MWO

Hi, spirit girl...thanks for the inspiring words.

Hi, Spirit Girl.

I have been AF since June 1, 2009. These past few days have been extremely hard for me. Sunday, after a holiday event with family, everyone came back to my house and proceeded to have drinks in the living room by the fire. I was a nano-second close to simply saying, "To hell with it", and go for some of the opened wine around.

I was so stressed with wanting to simply binge, that I started getting cross and tear up with my husband. Somehow, I managed to pray, keep buzy with getting dinner together, and make it through.

Yesterday, after family/friends left after the holiday, I wanted to simply drown in a bottle(s) of wine. There was an open bottle in the fridge and more in the extra fridge in the basement. I told my husband I wanted to drink...just for the next few days/through New Years Eve...and he pleaded with me/talked me out of it.

I know for certain I do not want one drink; I want a bottle+1/2 or two bottles; this is where I left off in June and where I would resume. Even Sunday, I knew I did not want just one/two drinks; I wanted to drown in wine and zone/relax out of my mind.

What you said today, "I no longer want AL to be the desire of my heart," really speaks to me today. Al is fully capable of resuming that place for me, and it is a dark and depressing place to be. I am not a social drinker; I far prefer to drink and "relax" alone. The outcome is isolation (along with bitterness, resentment, depression, and anger).

This is a very challenging time of year; but, there are always challenges.

All I know for sure is that I've never awakened in the morning wishing I had emptied some wine bottles the night before. When I make it through a difficult day and wake up the next still AF, I feel relieved, healthy, and happy.

Right now, my husband is getting rid of all the wine in the fridges. And, I looked in the mirror this morning and felt slim/healthy instead of fat/bloated/disgusted/sad.

Thank you, Spirit Girl, for that one line today. It has made a big difference for me and my journey.

May you be strengthened and proceed with peace and power.

Macbarry

[Guest]

Returning to MWO

Hi Spirit Girl. Feeling pathetic...I understand all too well. I just wanted to say that in searching some of the forums a few weeks ago I came across some of your posts on the antabuse thread and you were very helpful. Wishing you all the best.

[Guest]

Returning to MWO

Macbarry..."And, I looked in the mirror this morning and felt slim/healthy instead of fat/bloated/disgusted/sad"...this is is my goal/wish/prayer for the new year...happy you are where I want to be!

[New Creation]

Returning to MWO

Spiritgirl, Let's commit to live in hope rather than in shame. If I go there with my shame it seems to give me a reason to self-medicate. I have screwed up way too much. I am going to try in 2010 to live a life of hope, a life invisioning the me without AL......forgiving myself, happier,rested, better able to respond to my own and the feelings and needs of others, pretty (well, as pretty as I can be) and fit, and most of all at peace.

Macbarry, I loved your post! In fact, I think I will print it out and use it as a reminder 2 or 4 or 6 weeks or months from now why I should not take that first drink. Because I, like you, know that it is not one drink that I want but one bottle (+). My desire to drink has always been to go to a place in my mind that is anywhere but here. I want to start living my life where here is just perfect by me.

[WilliamTheFree]

Returning to MWO

Hello Spirit Girl...there are so many of us here who can so relate to what you posted. This is a hard battle. I've been away for awhile....I've stopped so many times I can't count but ended up off the wagon after a time. Here I am...back again...I'm really going to beat this this time...just one day at a time...I have found in the past that it was very helpful to stay connected here...it was a powerful tool. I intend on visiting here regularly as I begin 2010 on the path to being AF. I've always tried AF with the intent of moderating after a time but that just doesn't work for me. I just have to stop...I realize that now.

Spirit...most of us here have been in a place where we are literally disgusted and disappointed with ourselves. Our families DO deserve better and Alcohol has stolen much from us but there is hope. We WILL get better...we WILL slay this dragon.
My prayers are with you.