Advice re: babies

[Bambino]

Hello, ( Boys turn away now it might embarress you ! )

I keep popping back and forth from my DIY-ing because I have the attention span of a goldfish - usually it's fag breaks every 15 mins. But now I've got you to mither instead !!!

Serious now ... this is a question I've been yearning to ask for advice upon for ages, and I'm not sure if this is the right forum to do it, but here goes.

My husband and I have been at the top of the waiting list for IVF ( actually it's ICSI where they inject the sperm directly into the egg ). We reached the top of the list in May , they keep phoning, but I say I have been on holiday... haven't come on , husband is away ( obviously he needs to be there), etc etc excuses, excuses. I have been putting it off to them for one reason or another ( but all really because of my drinking ) because there is no point if I am still drinking.

How long do you think I need to abstain before I embark upon this do you think? - In my area of the UK we get 2 free attempts on the NHS and obviously I don't want to jeopardise them because of the booze.

Also, I have packets of TOPA here, which I haven't taken because I have read that it can harm the baby - however just reading an epilepsy site re TOPA and it had an article that unless you are genetically pre-disposed to defects in your baby's developments then TOPA should not really make a difference.
I want to take the TOPA beacause I NEED this Abs to work this time FOR GOOD, and everyone's posts about it seem to lead me into the mindset that it really does work for alcohol cessation.

Can anyone suggest what I should do? I'm 36 next may and that clock is ticking, which decreases success rate anyway. I guess It has just hit me that I'm not in my 20's and the sky's the limit . There is definitely a brick wall in the distance.
I have just party party party'd and now that I am sober , I am scared, and regretful.

I don't know if anyone has any advice re how long to be abs before trying, and whether to start the TOPA in order to maintain the Abs.
I'm in a quandry. Seems like a vicious circle.
Sorry to be so serious and self centred, but I don't know who else to ask.

Thanks for listening
Liz
xxxx

[lushy]

Advice re: babies

My advice

Hi Liz,

I can tell you from personal experience that I was TERRIFIED to get PG because I did not want to give up my wine. The day I discovered I was PG I had been on a bender all weekend long because I did not think I was PG. When I realized I had another life growing in me that I was now responsible for something just switched in my brain and I never thought about drinking again. In fact, my body turned against it to the point I would start dry heaving if I walked near the beer and wine aisle in the store. I had sips of wine a handful of times during the end part of my pregnancy but more for the sheer taste of it and not to get a buzz. I really think you can be pregnant without using the topa. There is just a different mindset you get into when you know there is a baby in there. As far as how long to abstain before trying I did not abstain at all and I got pregnant right away but for your own peace of mind I would recommend at least 30 days and then you will feel "all cleaned out." Good luck!!!!

[YoungAtHeart]

Advice re: babies

Go for it!

Since you're already abs, I'd start taking the topa at the minimum dosage and start titrating up according to the schedule. I'd go for the ICSI as soon as they are ready to take you, Bambs, if you think that you are ready to be a mum! Keep taking (or start taking) your milk thistle (follow recommendations about pregnancy though!!) and see what happens. Lush is right, you might find yourself in a completely different mindset if you are preggers, and you might find that you can easily go back down on the topa once you know that you are pregnant!

All the best, Bambs!!!

Hugs,
Kathy:l

[Bambino]

Advice re: babies

Thanks Lush and Kathy
that has set my mind at rest. I've been on the waiting list for 8 years, so i don't want to mess it up.

I have been taking milk thistle for about 4 months now, and other supps inc SAMe for my liver for about a month - just trying to get my body back into good condition again.

Thanks for your advice :l

Liz
xxxxx

[Annie]

Advice re: babies

Hi Bambs, can I just put my tuppence in here -
Good luck with the treatment. It's a huge thing to have a baby and a commitment for the rest of your life as you probably know and when a woman's instinct kicks in well ...... It's a powerful thing! It's really a decision you cannot make lightly because dare I say, if you can't make the dr appointments because you can't put off drinking, do you think you will be able to carry a baby and put off drinking? Shoot me down in flames if you want to but I've said it now. It's a tough one. Now, what about the smoking ...........

Think ahead as guilt plays a big enough part in being a mother as it is without adding to things ...

See if you can not drink or smoke for a few months then go for the treatment, knowing that you won't be able to smoke or drink for at least 9 months after that ...... bearing in mind when the baby comes that if you're breastfeeding you won't be able to drink and smoking will harm the baby.

Take care

By the way, I'm writing this not as a goody two shoes but as someone who holds a lot of guilt over the way I treated my pregnancies

[goingsobermum]

Advice re: babies

Hi,
I'm not sure if it the same medication but I know a baby who is 8 months old who has a syndrome caused by epilepsy drugs. She is slow, has small ears, a flat face. Much like a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome would have, in short she is handicapped by medication and will be all her life. If you have a chance at IVF then take it but find other ways to quit the drink. Take prenatal vits they'll replace stuff you you need with out doing any harm.
Good Luck.

[Bambino]

Advice re: babies

Hiya Sobermom

Just actually posted on Abstinence about 10 mins ago saying that I had started topa last night 25mg but reading your post has scared me... so actually - I will stop the TOPA..... On Kudzu and L Glut, so hopefully they will be enough.
I am taking Folic acid aswell as the supplements, to replace everything that alcohol has taken out .


Thanks so much for that advice and what a sad story

xxx

[goingsobermum]

Advice re: babies

Hi Bambino,
Well done, I'm sure you can do it. I find drinking loads of fresh juices helps. I bought a great juicer in Argos in the summer and it'll do whole carrots and apples (if they are softish ripe ones) so you get loads of juice very quickly. Carrot juice is a great detoxer. Some people say 'but theres so much waste when you juice' but think about all the waste that comes from wine making, its much the same.
Good luck with the treatment, make the most of it if the NHS are willing to pay for it.

[jools1961]

Advice re: babies

Hi Bambs,
I know your pain, even though way back when I had IVF for my boy I didnt really have much of a problem with the plonk however I did love it. Take as little as possible, make sure you see a naturopath/doctor because some natural medicines can be dangerous to embryos/babies, even some aromatherapy cures are dangerous believe it or not (and I am not a quack!). Research research research - it may even take your mind off the problems at hand if you are lucky. Do a search on "natural medicines danger to pregnant mothers" etc, blah blah, talk to your doctor. I was lucky enough to be treated by Francesca Naish in Sydney, who put my husband and I on a program in conjunction with IVF, she also wrote a book called "Natural Fertility" which is absolutely excellent. Get a hold of it if you can. Do a search if you can. Even if u could find someone like her where you are, or email her for one of her colleagues, she also does hypnotherapy and is a wonderful (and strict) naturopath. I have my beautiful boy who is now 12 and I give her alot of credit for the help she gave Henry and I.

Email me if you need more info. Love Jools.

[MonaCat]

Advice re: babies

Bambs, please don't take the Topa, while trying to get to PG. Many drugs have a so called "half life", meaning they stay in your system, even after you stop taking them. Jools is right, about even Natural Products can be dangerous.
Recently, I bought some oils for aromatherapy, and was told that, only one oil could be used if you were PG. Wow, that amazed me. Also certain fish should be avoided, because they are high in mercury, like swordfish.
I had IVF a couple of times, and all I can say is be ready for an emotional roller coaster ride. I was your age at the time too. You are so lucky to be getting two shots for free. I had to pay several thousand dollars. This is an opportunity of a life time for you.
I know how badly you want this baby, and I know you won't drink. Your mind will change once you know there is life inside of you, and that your dream is coming true. You will be a great mom. Good luck!

[Coffee]

Advice re: babies

Bambino,

I know this is off topic, but do you ride?

[Coffee]

Advice re: babies

I'm sorry, also drink plenty of water.

[Bambino]

Advice re: babies

Hi cofee - I have just sold my - horse - actually, the sale hasn't gone through yet because the girl who is buying Bambi needs to sell her horse first..- so I am still riding about 3-4 times a week, to keep her ticking over. She's a throughbred, so needs to be excercised , but I don't event her anymore.

Why do you ask?


And thanks for all the other advice Mona , Kathy, goingsober, and Jools _ iam going to look up the book you suggested on Amazon to see if I can get hold of it I am shocked at all the side effects from stuff- especially topa and its half life.
Is omega 3 fish oil ok to take do you know?
It's mad, because you think that you are putting all of these good things into your body, but potentially they could be harmful.
I think I need to do a bit of research re the supps I'm taking and pregnancy.

Thanks again for all of your advice.

liz
XXXXX

[mojomuppet]

Advice re: babies

bambino's baby

:shocked: bambino my dear you will quit when you are pregnant trust me almost all women do. then you will get to crave thngs like dirt and chalk. have fun!