anger frustration

[mario]

Feeling preety angry and frustrated the last few days
i think i want to make things happen to quick,plus before i was a fixer,fix anything,trouble,financial.relationships. of course that was everybody else's,i coundent fix me own.i just feel i am helpless,i have a complete new life and a few things have happened that if that was before i would have sorted it,now its like i am in a comfort zone and dont want to leave it,it might upset my little cloud i am sitting on
__________________
Victory is won not in miles,but in inch,s. win a little now, hold your ground and later win a little more.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

anger frustration

Hi Mario I have just posted a message about this for you on the army thread.

[mario]

anger frustration

i need to control my anger :dang::damn::durn: any ideas

[sosad61]

anger frustration

Been feeling the same way mario. I'm with ya. Hang in there pal.

[hippie37]

anger frustration

I've been getting like this of late myself Mario. I saw a great comment somewhere this morning that said We cannot discover new oceans unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore. For me personally where I am now in recovery is on that cloud or baby pool swimming with the armbands on and not wanting to get in the big pool because I'm comfortable where I am. It usually though causes me to start feeling irritable and frustrated (like it did last week) which then turns into anger and self pity. I feel at the moment I need to start getting out of myself more and start 'doing' rather than saying I'm going to do it. I'm a hell of a procrastinator. Today my daughter is not well so I am not seeing her today (which is a regular access day for me). My head is telling me that I have a 'day off' to just chill and do bugger all. But I know my heart is telling me to get down the cemetery and go make an amend to my dad that I've been putting off for weeks now. I know if I sit here today and do nothing my anger and frustration will only heighten tomorrow.

I would suggest you not get too wrapped up in yourself and your own frustrations and get out and do something positive that will enhance your own well being. Share the love with friends and family!

Peace and Love
Phil
xx

[Guest]

anger frustration

I gotta golden ticket

[clare]

anger frustration

hi mario, i read ur story yes it was very sad reading, you need to control that anger in side you,like alcohol it gets you nowhere in life , when u feel dis anger in side you try 2 learn 2 walk away from situations and say 2 urself, i have risened from all that shit in my life i an now a stronger person, mario take a step back, good luck

[LilBit]

anger frustration

Zenstyle;699195 wrote: As far as anger goes, I think that was your old coping mechanism. And it was a faulty one. Start thinking about chucking that one out with the bath water... it's not beneficial to you. Have they got a punching bag at your gym btw?

Words of wisdom from Zenny! A smart therapist once explained that there's a difference between anger and rage, and for what it's worth, it always helped me.

Anger is a normal feeling that we all feel in response to things that happen to us in life. Whether the anger itself is directed at the proper source, it's an emotion and therefore, doesn't require justification (just like sadness or elation doesn't). Anger does, however, need to be released or else it will only be suppressed and will turn into all kinds of nasty things (self-sabotage, physical ailments, etc.). Where's that gym membership card? BTW, you can also visualize the anger leaving you. Picture a stream of some vile, dark, yukky substance pouring out of your mouth from deep inside you, dispersing into the winds (or if it helps, toward the object of your anger).

Rage, on the other hand, is our anger acted out -- directed at someone, something, or sometimes, even the world in general with the intent to harm or strike back. Rage is the guy with a gun shooting innocent people in a dance class, in part, because he held onto his anger for so long. Rage is the person who keys your car because his mom's hooked on crack and there's nothing he can do about it.

I realize this sounds pretty basic, and you probably already know all this, but somehow, knowing that anger is a natural feeling that can and must be dealt with has helped me, and maybe it will help someone here (particuarly the women, since many of us are taught to "play nice" and suppress it).

I think you're doing great, Mario, and I'm glad to know you. :h

[openheart]

anger frustration

Hello Mario,
Wow--great honest post. I sure hear you about thinking in "before and after" terms of our life. I know what has gotten me frustrated is the "expectation" of how things will be so different w/o al, or even better! But then the same things come along and I am left to deal with them without al.
Maybe you are taking care of yourself by retreating from the problems. Give yourself a break--by not jumping in and feeling responsible for fixing things, perhaps you are giving yourself a much needed rest.

Re: anger--anger is such a normal feeling, it's usually what we do with that anger that makes us or breaks us. Anger is a "cover up" feeling/response--it is easier to feel and recognize, so often we zip right to the "I'm angry!" stage. But, anger is covering up a more tender and vulnerable feeling, like shame, disappointment, hurt, embarrassment, fear, humiliation, loneliness, jealousy.

Mario, try to figure out what that vulnerable feeling is that anger is covering up. That may be one of your first steps in deflating your anger balloon.

Sending you warm thoughts, my friend.
Openheart

[startingover]

anger frustration

Mario, being sober means we have to start coping with things differently. When I was drinking I used to imagine I was sorting things out when in reality I wasnt. Maybe this is whats happening to you? You probably are dealing with things but in a more orderly way which appears frustrating and slow.
I deal with stuff very differently now, if I am angry or sad instead of losing the plot I will back away for a while. Maybe you need to back away for a while and take the pressure off yourself to be something you arent any more. That doesnt mean you are now unable to look after your family and friends it just means that you do things differently these days. Maybe others expectations of you need to change too.
I know you will get through this, its a blip and it will pass.
Best wishes my friend.

[irish eyes]

anger frustration

Mario, this is a great thread, my tuppence worth is that feeling our feelings is one important aspect of our recovery. Learning how to balance feelings with appropriate action is another. New feelings pop up like weeds in a newly mown lawn. Rather than pointing the finger at other people or situations when you get angry, look at your role in the situation. Write down your memories feeling and behaviour at the time preferably using a red pen and if you can read it to someone you trust. Try and release your anger constructively like working out in the gym and say f... them over and over again. When I am angry I swim up and down the pool like a madwoman all the time f... I feel so much better by the time I am finished!! Release your anger if you can, otherwise it will turn into resentment and this will be so much difficult to get rid of. Another good trick is beat the living daylights out of a pillow or a cushion but obviously do so when noone around otherwise..... when you have put a distance between yourself and the anger by using some of the above methods, it is important to if you could communicate your anger using the 'I' technique i.e. not blaming just saying how you feel. Instead of saying 'you fool you made me do that I hate you when you ignore ..... say something like I feel really hurt and angry when.... Sounds like a lecture but it isent just what works for me.

[mario]

anger frustration

:thanks: for all the help and responses it shows that there are a lot of great people here on mwo and without them, sure i dont know where i would be atall,atall