Why must it be so hard?

[Changed1]

AKA Today I straighten up and fly flight. Instead of doing the right thing yesterday and just sitting with my guilt, sadness and anger I drank over it. I drank over it and just caused more of a problem, in that I called my BF and don't even remember what I said. Now he has even MORE reason not to trust me and believe that I'll even fix myself.

What is the best way to deal with others? Just disappear for a while and get ourselves together? I guess there is nothing else I can do at this point. I could ask a friend to call him, but he knows she was just drinking last week. I know I have to do this alone, but having him in my life would be make happier. What would you do? thanks in advance. :upset:

[scrubbly]

Why must it be so hard?

Hi Changed:

I'm not sure that I have any great advice for you, but I hear the pain in your post and wanted to offer support and a :l this morning.

I don't know your BF's stance on your drinking and your recovery, is he open to what you are trying to do, what your plan is, how you are attacking the problem?

That being asked, do you have a plan in place? I see you here, so you are doing good stuff by being here and looking for answers, I know that. Do you have other components of a plan too? And if so have you shared those with him?

I found with my partner that when I included him in the "plan" I had it made it easier for him to deal with my slip ups, but I sure don't want to tell you your business either.

Another one of these to round out my message today!!! :l Good luck to you...

[Changed1]

Why must it be so hard?

scrubbly;701266 wrote: Hi Changed:

I'm not sure that I have any great advice for you, but I hear the pain in your post and wanted to offer support and a :l this morning.

I don't know your BF's stance on your drinking and your recovery, is he open to what you are trying to do, what your plan is, how you are attacking the problem?

That being asked, do you have a plan in place? I see you here, so you are doing good stuff by being here and looking for answers, I know that. Do you have other components of a plan too? And if so have you shared those with him?

I found with my partner that when I included him in the "plan" I had it made it easier for him to deal with my slip ups, but I sure don't want to tell you your business either.

Another one of these to round out my message today!!! :l Good luck to you...

Thanks for the hug scrubbly. I wish I had a plan - get through today without a drink is my plan. I feel like I've tried everything and it's getting old. I guess my plan is to not drink. I just left him a message. I have to volunteer this a.m. a couple blocks from where he works. I asked if he'll meet me for a couple of minutes. He either will or won't and I have to accept that. Hugs back. :l

[Elpis]

Why must it be so hard?

I think the best plan is to tell him the truth.

E-

[Changed1]

Why must it be so hard?

Elpis;701289 wrote: I think the best plan is to tell him the truth.

E-

Oh my goodness. He isn't even angry with me because he didn't get any of my messages - messages I can't even remember what I said! I have the code to retrieve the messages and now I'm going to have to figure out what to do about this! I cannot delete them as he has the phone but he can't retrieve them as he doesn't have the code. I hope he forgets about them or maybe I'll just snag the phone and delete them myself. My my what a tangled web we weave.

Oh, I am sick of drinking and just want to be done with it!. I think what I'll do is just not drink and behave really well for a while and hope the messages go away.

[paula]

Why must it be so hard?

Hi Changed, so pleased things turned out ok. Put it down to experience and learn from it. don't do what a lot of us have done and carry on drinking to excess, next time you may not be lucky.
Wishing you well.

[TakeHeart]

Why must it be so hard?

Changed1 , actions speak louder than words. Good plan to just not drink for awhile.

I am struggling to take my own advice.

[Guitarista]

Why must it be so hard?

Hiya Changed,
Sounds like you agree that you need to get a safe, solid, plan for yourself. You can't 'pussyfoot' around with this plan stuff. You must do some research, ask questions, (as you are doing) educate yourself, and get into action, and do the work. And it is work. To change an entrenched lifestyle, and way of thinking is very difficult, as you well know, but it is also possible, as i many of us have done this. It is hard, but you can do it, you really can. But a well thought out plan, i reckon, is a sensible starting point. Have you read the Roberta Jewell M.W.O. book? I haven't myself, but folk's here say it has some great strategies and info. Firstly though, for me, i had to reallyhave had enough of the whole al thing, and everything it brings with it. Shame, fear, anxiety, depression, taking of soul, spirit, body, mind. I think we really have to want to stop, and maintain the vision of why. This helped me. I had to change my thinking. Can you maybe start with a coule of little af stretches? A few day's here, then a week there, then try for 2 weeks, then 30 days etc? Get some medical advice, get a safe solid, realistic plan, and do it. Good things will follow. While we abuse ourselves with booze, nothing positive ever happens. You know this, and you have the power to choose. Yep, YOU have the power. YOU choose. Get cracking!
Best wishes........