The solution? or the problem.
To start with it was my solution, until it became my problem.
To start with it was my solution, until it became my problem.
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Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009 -
The solution? or the problem.
For me at the beginning it never enter my mind all i knew was i was just having fun and a good time with friends (plus it did give me confident)....until i realise late on very later on
it control me, thats when i realise i had a problem.... i never thought i had a problem until my friend show me this site mwo.....( i was so oblivious)
Formerly known as Teardrop:l
sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !Comment
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The solution? or the problem.
First it was a social prop, then it was an escape and self medication. This past two years it has been a major problem that consumes my entire life. Now is the time to get it out of my life.
Everything I need is within me!Comment
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The solution? or the problem.
Like Homer said (The cartoon, not the Trojan War Greek)
"Beer is the the problem and the solution to everything"
Even He was joking...What you perceive is what you believe, so make sure you look at things the right way....Comment
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The solution? or the problem.
For me....in the beginning it was a type of hobby, something I enjoyed doing, everyone around me had the same hobby, it was like a club and if you didn't do it, you didn't get in...true sometimes there were incidents and hangovers but surely that was the same as a jogger getting cramp or a stamp collector getting glue stuck on their finger....the little hazzards that come with pleasure..annoying but part and parcel of the whole process...the good FAR outweighed the bad anyway.
Then it progressed slowly to become a habit...something that was just done....no questions asked, no occasion necessary, no particular mood needed....happy, sad, lonely, worried, indifferent..whatever the feeling....the answer/reward was a drink.
And then came the INGRAINED habit.....the daily occurance, the act that was done as surely as teeth were brushed and day became night, the shopping list was made, check the fridge...I need butter...eggs...check vodka level...ooopss..running a bit low, better get another bottle....it goes on the list with the rest of the groceries and "necessities".
Which leads to the fact that I drink EVERY night without fail.....no matter if I am sick/have visitors/no money/feel ill from the night before......I drink EVERY night.
I begin to question myself...is this normal? Do everyday normal people do this? My heart says no but my head says....
You don't drink during the day,
You only have six shots of vodka per night.
You don't shake.
You don't hide Booze
You NEVER vomit/pass out.
You can easily get up in the morning and look after kids and do the housework.
You don't LOOK like an alcoholic...etc etc...
So I keep on my merry little way.....day after day nightly drinking...for years....
BUT that little voice kept nagging and nagging at me....I would call a friend for a chat and ask what they were doing and they would reply..just having a cup of tea and watching a movie...."oohh me too" I would reply clutching my iced glass...."It is only Tuesday after all"
I remember being on the phone to a friend one night and my glass being empty and going in to fill another one....I tried to open the freezer quietly and get the ice out....I was yapping away to try and defer from what i was doing, with one hand I got the ice out and wrapped it in tissue so I could put it in my glass without the giveaway CLINK noise that ice so annoyingly gives (when you are trying to hide it that is...I love the clink of ice when I am alone).....I remember stopping and thinking about what I was doing....trying to hide the fact I was drinking vodka at 9pm on a Monday night because others would think I had a problem...
That played on my mind for about a week and I decided I would investigate further...I found MWO and thought I had found HEAVEN....I decided I would mod for a while and little by little as I read the posts and posted myself, I saw how deluded my thinking had become...
I decided to do 30 days and the rest is history.
So in answer to the question........I did see booze as a solution......but only in my later drinking days...before that, it was just something that I did.....
What I failed to see was that it was a problem all along....I saw it like a piece of cling film.....covering over the container so the contents don't spill out....but every so often the contents would bubble and boil until the cling film had no choice but to melt and I was left with nothing but a big mess of congealed crap in the container that was waiting to be cleaned.....solution??? Cover it over again with more cling film.....that takes care of the problem for another little while...
A vicious cycle.........so easy to stay on the merry go round..far too scary to get off and clean up.
Yes problems are a plenty.....days are not always good..there is not enough money in the bank to make ends meet...but I am on top of it.....sitting ON TOP of my mountain of worries instead of UNDER it....and that is what makes all the difference."It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"
AF 10th May 2010
NF 12th May 2010Comment
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The solution? or the problem.
Wow Oney excellent post.Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?Comment
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The solution? or the problem.
Thanks Ktab, didn't come out as I wanted it to....I always go off tangent..."It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"
AF 10th May 2010
NF 12th May 2010Comment
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The solution? or the problem.
Sometimes I was sleep deprived..for different reasons, but would drink to give myself a burst or high of energy, so i could cope with the rest of the day/evening! Got into a big cycle of sleep deprivation as a result !
ChickenComment
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The solution? or the problem.
In the beginning I saw it as the solution to all my problems. At the end, it was the problem which ruined all my solutions.AF since 7/26/2009
"There is nothing noble in being superior to other man. The true nobility is being superior to your previous self."--Hindu proverb.
"Sobriety isn't a landing but rather a journey." anonymousComment
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The solution? or the problem.
cling film and top of the mountain
Great analogy. Also great post. It pretty much exactly describes me -- except for the part about sitting ON TOP of the mountain of worries... I'm still climbing.one2many;703490 wrote:
What I failed to see was that it was a problem all along....I saw it like a piece of cling film.....covering over the container so the contents don't spill out....but every so often the contents would bubble and boil until the cling film had no choice but to melt and I was left with nothing but a big mess of congealed crap in the container that was waiting to be cleaned.....solution??? Cover it over again with more cling film.....that takes care of the problem for another little while...
Thanks to Baclofen, though, I'm not on the bottom. With the level of anxiety I was suffering, I had no hope of getting to the TOP. No hope of even climbing. Bac has taken my anxiety away and that is the only reason I can climb.Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005
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The solution? or the problem.
I just want to add, that if there is anyone on this site who doesn't visit the meds forum and is interested in Baclofen (which has been a lifesaver for many, with a huge success rate), I suggest you take a look at some of the many Baclofen threads there. It's amazing ("mindblowing", as a hippie might say-- although not necessarily our own MWO Hippie=)!!!!!!Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005
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The solution? or the problem.
hi hipster,i never seen Al as the problem,at 1st it was mysterious/16 years old, threw my guts up,swore allegiance never to do it again,40 years later/here, i at one time looked at it as a anti depressant,which it has become my depressor, makes sense gyco:thanks:hippie37;703128 wrote: Here's a question for you.
Did/do you see alcohol as the problem or did/do you see alcohol as the solution to your problems?Comment
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The solution? or the problem.
I see alcohol as the problem and the solution. I drink to relieve boredom and have fun and boy oh boy does life get interesting. Unfortunately, bad interesting. And the fun is short lived. The problems have become bigger and the fun is less and less. It is insanity for me - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.Redhibiscus
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The solution? or the problem.
pain + drink = problemIt is better to light a candle than curse the darkness. ~ Eleanor RooseveltComment
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The solution? or the problem.
Good question!
When I realised I had a drink problem, I had all sorts of other problems as well (panic/anxiety problems, trying to 'fit in' in a new job, coping with the unexpected death of my Dad and some difficult issues with my family); although drink wasn't a solution to these it helped to medicate my feelings - for a while.
I kept thinking, 'I'll sort out my other problems, then I'll get round to sorting out my drinking.' But it didn't happen like that. My drinking got worse and, in 2007, it made me extremely ill; I had a massive seizure and was admitted to hospital.
When I came out I went to a rehab clinic and started going to AA meetings. I put my sobriety first. It didn't solve all my other problems, but it helped me see them in perspective.
18 months later - I'm still sober! I just take life a day at a time and try not to worry too much.:thumbs:Comment
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