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    #1

    Frustrated....

    Hi guys,

    I just need to vent. I have had a really crappy week.

    First off work has just been brutal lately - I work in a very stressful job and no matter what you do, it's great for about 5 minutes and then it's like do it again! (Corporate sales - always chasing higher #'s)

    For some reason this week I have been drinking beer when I get home from work - not tons, not getting pass out drunk or anything like that, but just enjoying that beer. Well evidentally that pisses off my BF. He drinks too - almost daily but he usually has two and thats it. Never more than 4. But lately it has upset him if I have any. Granted I have brought that on myself with past behaviour but my goal has always been to moderate and now I feel like I can't even have 1 beer without getting dirty looks, punishment in the form that he won't sleep in the same bed with me, will leave in the morning without giving me a kiss - things like that.

    I have a fairly decent self esteem but as we all know this disease is difficult enough with out any support. He basically has hardly spoken to me all week. Which of course makes me go "fine, go F@#@ yourself" and I open a beer. it's that never ending circle.

    aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhh

    I don't even know if I'm looking for advice or not, I'm just frustrated and need to vent. I am going away this weekend with my daughter without him, maybe it'll be the break I need. I think I may leave a letter for him letting him know my thoughts and feelings and about how hurtful it is when he flat out ignores me or makes me feel guilty or "punishes" me by not coming to bed. Then a weekend away and talk when I get home. Maybe that's the right idea. I don't know.

    Thanks for listening guys.
    :upset:
    Uni
    Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
    :h
    Tags: None
    #2
    Frustrated....

    Hi Uni,sorry to hear about your frustrations with BF.. I think the note thing is an ok idea. When my partner gets pissed off with my behaviour or attitude she emails me at work as she finds it easier to tell me what she is thinking without the misinterpretations of body language or tone of voice. I also tend to stutter when worked up and that gives her the utter shits so the email is a sort of non contact ...contact way of allowing her to get her point across.
    Hope it all gets better .
    Reggie

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      #3
      Frustrated....

      I agree with writing the letter. I tend to get too emotional when talking about things that upset me and dont always get my point across as well as when i can take time to write what i feel.

      I hope your weekend away with your daughter is relaxing and enjoyable. Maybe it's just what the doctor ordered for your relationship too?
      AF/SF - November 23, 2014

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        #4
        Frustrated....

        Hey uni, since you may not be looking for advice, I won't give any :H

        I wonder though, what DO you want him to do? I also wonder does HE know what you want him to do? I wonder if he knows what moderating is. How does he tell the difference between moderating and pre-dangerous drinking? How does he know when it's OK?

        I'm not defending his behavior by any means because that's icky behavior IMHO. Maybe he's just scared because he doesn't know what to do.

        I wonder one more thing. If you'd have a happier time with your daughter with this resolved before you left. I becha you would.

        XOXO
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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          #5
          Frustrated....

          Hi there uni,
          Sorry you a had a crappy week.... it is good to vent.
          I know that feeling like feeling guilty as hell makes it look like YOU have done something wrong! dont let it be that way be strong and hang in there......Enjoy your weekend with your little girl.....:l
          Formerly known as Teardrop:l
          sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
          my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

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            #6
            Frustrated....

            Hey uni

            Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, sending positive vibes your way, and hoping you have a wonderful, carefree weekend w/ your daughter. I agree w/ catch22, it IS good for you to vent, especially here.....

            XOXO

            MA
            :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

            Comment

              #7
              Frustrated....

              Hi guys,

              Just wanted to update - I wrote him a long letter and he called me. He felt so bad - he didn't mean it that way at all and felt so bad that I took it that way - has been tired and not feeling well this week so just not in a chatty mood and sleeping downstairs because he hasn't been sleeping well and wanted the tv on and didn't want to wake me up. Feels awful that I was taking it as punishment. I guess that is just the alcoholics guilty mind speaking eh?

              Thanks guys for listening and letting me vent and for being there for me. Now I can enjoy my weekend with my girl with no worries.

              Love and hugs,
              Uni
              Every day is a day to start over and remember that I am powerless over my addiction. I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
              :h

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