The chicken or the egg?

[LozzyJane]

Thanks to TakeHeart - I'd like to ask the opinion of the forum. Do you think that you drank/are drinking because of who you are or did you drink/are drinking because of what you have experienced? For example, I'm wondering if I'm drinking because of my unhappy relationship, or if my relationship is unhappy because of my drinking.
Or is it genetic? I know I come from a long line of heavy drinkers but is it a learned behaviour/coping mechanism that has been passed on?
I would appreciate your thoughts and comments.
LJ

[rubywillow]

The chicken or the egg?

There is strong scientific research showing that children of alcoholics are at a greater risk of the same problem. Why we are where we are is a very difficult question to answer. In my case, there is alcoholism on on side of my family, while the other side are tee-totalers. I believe, in my case, it was a combination of the genetics, the era I became an adult in, and ignorance on my part of the dangers. This is a quick answer of course, and doesn't even address any issues I've had with stress, health, family, etc.

[puddytat]

The chicken or the egg?

Both: I drink because of the experiences of being who I am, in a family/society where I don't necessarily fit in (i.e. I'm too intellectual, too sensitive, too out-of-the-box thinking, etc.)

[hart]

The chicken or the egg?

I don't know, but I know I am a child of an alcoholic, I was able to drink without having to get drunk until about 5 years ago. I know my husband is an alcoholic. I know I have an all or nothing personality. I tend to think there is a greater likelihood to become an alcoholic if one is a child of an alcoholic, but by the same token why did I go most of my life only drinking lightly, occasionally and now I suddenly either abstain or overdo?

[puddytat]

The chicken or the egg?

I agree that there is a major genetic component, but I'm forced to define it as a genetic predisposition. Why? because Puddy has a PuddyClone.

That's right: an identical twin.

And while my twin struggles with alcohol a little, she's never let herself get as far gone as me (perhaps the 4 children and hubby slowed her down a bit -- I don't know. But I'm glad for her.)

(BTW: she tends to be ascetic in many areas. I remember some 20 yrs ago, sitting with her in a coffee-shop, as the waitress lamented that she, the watiress, was up to "5 a day" -- and trying to cut-down. PuddyClone said sympathetically, "yes, I used be at one cup a day -- now I'm up to a cup-and-a-half!" The waitress leveled a gaze at her, and said, "Pots. I'm talking POTS of coffee!" ugh. sometimes hard to believe she is my clone .. albeit a mirror-twin clone.)

[LozzyJane]

The chicken or the egg?

hart;708538 wrote: I don't know, but I know I am a child of an alcoholic, I was able to drink without having to get drunk until about 5 years ago. I know my husband is an alcoholic. I know I have an all or nothing personality. I tend to think there is a greater likelihood to become an alcoholic if one is a child of an alcoholic, but by the same token why did I go most of my life only drinking lightly, occasionally and now I suddenly either abstain or overdo?

I'm reading Allen Carr's book at the moment - he quotes stats that say it takes between two and sixty years to become an alcoholic (AC doesn't agree, by the way, neither do I). In my case I was a binge drinker from the first drink, but that was to cover anxiety, etc. I also have an all or nothing personality. I so envy people who can take it or leave it, or just have a couple of drinks and then have a coffee.

[LozzyJane]

The chicken or the egg?

puddytat;708535 wrote: Both: I drink because of the experiences of being who I am, in a family/society where I don't necessarily fit in (i.e. I'm too intellectual, too sensitive, too out-of-the-box thinking, etc.)

Hey puddy, what do you mean - are you very different from your family? Are you the other coloured sheep? Were you not valued for being intellectual or gifted? We call that the "tall poppy syndrome" here in Australia - where if you over-achieve you are cut down. It's a reflection of people's insecurity because they don't like others to do better, obviously.
I just can't get it with people!

[rubywillow]

The chicken or the egg?

And LZ, that applies to everything with us. If we pick up a new favorite thing, from Art to Zen, we go hog wild with it, at least for a while. But most things don't get ahold of our gut like AL does.
Rubes

[IAD]

The chicken or the egg?

We drink for all kinds of reason........I drank to forget (Forget what !?! I don't know, I forgot ! ha!) Hope we can find some answers...IAD

[nancy]

The chicken or the egg?

I continue to think a lot of it is related to environmental causes and psychological problems. So the alcohol is a symptom. Meaning, I think the psych problems come first, then the drinking which makes psych worse. And dependency on alcohol for all psych problems. I mean relationship issues, other people have those and don't turn to booze. Then the brain changes to adapt and need alcohol, because that's the typical way people with alcohol problems get a predictable mood boost.

I think reacting to a psychological trauma or anxiety with booze makes perfect sense. And if you have a parent who had an alcohol problem and lived with them, most likely you experienced dysfunction. I find it really interesting that so many people are getting better with baclofen due to its effect on anxiety.

[cowgal]

The chicken or the egg?

I am one of them!!

Nancy, I agree that anxiety/worry is what KEPT me drinking, and now take baclofen. I am TOTALLY recovered now, I mean, it is so cool, I am very happy.....I feel better and in control. When I don't want to drink i don't and if i feel it is ok and I do drink, i don't overdo it now that I am taking baclofen..........

My dad was an alcoholic, mom never drank, I never learned to deal w/ stress/anxiety in a healthy way, and now I feel as though I can.........

XOXO:l:h:h

MA

[aliame]

The chicken or the egg?

I had alcohol counselling for a couple of years, it uncovered the fact there was nothing to uncover. I have no deep seated issues, my family have no alcohol issues, I have no reason or excuse to drink, I just do! Wish I could find a reason.

[nancy]

The chicken or the egg?

Pipsqueak, you raise a really interesting question. What about people who drink but don't suffer from anxiety and didn't have a bad childhood? Would they also benefit from a drug like baclofen? It would be interesting to see the numbers. I suspect a lot of women and therefore people on this site are drinking for anxiety or depression.

[mario]

The chicken or the egg?

For me drinking slowly crept in & over my life,like a high tide coming into the harbour,it rises steadily and mostly quietly and before i knew it i was swimming for my life,I am on a raft now paddling for shore which i can see in the distance.hoping no tsunami's come my way

[beatle]

The chicken or the egg?

This thread, by far, is the most well-rounded and thoughtful discussion I have seen anywhere on this subject -- on this forum or anywhere else.

Everything, absolutely everything, that has been written so far here, makes sense (to me)...

Genetic pre-disposition combined with situational circumstances, combined with family use, combined with anxiety -- clearly all of these play a role.

I believe genetic pre-disposition and chemical imbalances in the brain (often genetic, although not necessarily so) are the major factors. As Nancy says, many people deal with unhappy childhoods, unhappy relationships, sexual abuse, trauma, etc., without alcohol.

Also, many people use alcohol to deal with their problems without it getting out of control. In other words, trauma and psychological issues alone do not explain why alcohol use gets out of hand.

And I think it is especially important to note that curing the alcohol problem (especially if it is chemically related, which I believe it is in most cases), is usually the FIRST step to going back and dealing with the other problems, which may indeed have been the trigger to let the genetic and chemical factors take over.

In other words, it doesn't really matter which came first, the chicken or the egg. Now that we have become alcoholics, or have a major alcohol problem, whatever the reason, we cannot address our issues if we are not sober.

This is where I think most "specialists" dealing with addiction are dead wrong. It doesn't help to try to deal with our issues if we are drunk most of the time. You can't deal with your issues drunk.

I also don't believe that if you get sober and stay sober by using all your energy to stay that way, that you will be in a position to address your other "underlying" issues. Getting and staying sober for most true alcoholics is a full-time project (as evidenced by many people contributing and benefiting from this site).

Now, how to get sober, and how to stay sober, is another whole can of worms... and I urge everyone to go to the meds forum and read up on Baclofen.