I must be the worse

[network]

Who else starts drinking at 5 am on sunday. Well it was well over the month since i was drinking, but when i start i mean it. Its been long 3 days now on constant hangover/drunken state. I was supposed to meet a lady from my uni today to discuss my phd(doctor) and of course i prefered to get drunk instead. Its really amazing when i dont drink i really do not for a month or two but when is start i go................................ I really need help although i am happy now(i am drunk) i feel sorrow down in my heart.

[network]

I must be the worse

One more thing, i don't think someone ever experienced that, but i am having withdrawals even when i am drunk. It really sucks big time.

[Cinders]

I must be the worse

Network,

You are no worse and no better.

I was a 24/7 drinker. No binging, just living day to day drunk. I would drink when I woke up in the middle of the night, I would drink when I woke up in the morning, I would have to drink just to get myself steady enough to get to work.

It sucks. I totally agree.

Binge drinking is hard to manage, as well.

The only way I can manage my alcoholism is to never pick up a drink. It is the only "cure" I know. I wish there was some other way but I have tried everything I could try and I never found another way to deal with it.

You are no worse than any of us. Hang in there, get sober and figure out what it will take to keep you from picking up that first one.

Cindi

[network]

I must be the worse

Thank you Cindi, if i only had someone here. I am drinking another bottle of vodka now. My heart is racing and i cannot even go to the doctor cos i am drunk, although i am really worried cos my heart just wants to jump off the roof. I think that maybe, maybe another drink will help me out with my racing heart. Damn i am worried. On the other hand it is all my fault and i just have to deal with it

[beagle]

I must be the worse

Network,
If the sober part of your brain can direct you onto the computer,find this site,login & type a message,that's a good thing.
Put down the vodka. Just leave it.
Instead,read the myriad of stuff on here to distract you.
Don't do yourself the injustice of replying with one hand & downing the vodka with the other - you're worth more than that.
Coming on here has started me off better - & from what I've read,it can only help you too.
Slow down with your thoughts,don't get yourself too distraught as you'll only reach for that next glass. Just put down the glass in another room,come back in here & chat away.
I'm a binge drinker & every day is a new one to wrestle against.
People on here are fantastic & understand everything you're going through.

[network]

I must be the worse

Beagle i wish i could stop. But it is a wish.

[SKendall]

I must be the worse

I have experienced the compulsion of alcohol and it defies logic. If you are intent on drinking you will drink, snapping it with food and chocolate helps. Drink tons of water with lemon and take vitamins.

Good Luck.

[network]

I must be the worse

Going cold turkey

I just woke up, big bottle of vodka is still there. Thank God i managed to sleep. Going completely cold turkey now. All or nothing

[rubywillow]

I must be the worse

Network, glad to hear that. Hydrate yourself all day; lemon water, then sport drinks, etc. to get your electrolytes back in balance. We've all had these days, and they suck. It doesn't matter so much where you've been, it's where your going.

[Popeye]

I must be the worse

Hi network.
Throw the vodka down the drain. You don't want it so chuck it then try and get back to where you want to be.
Take care.

[aust_boy]

I must be the worse

Alcoholism does not discriminate.

You are no better or worse than anyone else on this site. I agree with all suggestions from other posters. Pour the Vodka down the sink and watch as it dissapears, never to return then place the bottle in the bin. You can stop - that is why I personally don't find AA helps me. I can't get past step no. 1 - "I am powerless over my addiction". I truly do not believe anyone is powerless over things that they do. I do believe it is a disease, I know - i've been through it, but when you truly make up your mind for yourself to quit - truly truly make up your mind, you will quit.

Think of what you are sacrificing, think of what it is doing to you, think of whether it is making you happy, think of the next morning. I have honestly been there and done all the things you have said. I have been a horrible person in the past because of drinking. So I stopped it. Permanently. You absolutely have to shift your mind. I believe AA is a way to shift your mind with constant re-enforcement. Some people find it easier that way, in a group environment. I never did. I had to make the decision, book myself into rehab with the right mindset and fuC& it off.

At the rehab I went to the usual procedure is people rock up absolutely shit faced and have to detox for a week. They are thinking 'ok if I am going to hit this on the head and this is my last chance to drink I am going to go out in style or with a bang or whatever it is that has them at .3 BAC. I can tell you that 99% of the time those people are simply wasting their time and money.

When I went to rehab I skipped the detox part because I went there with 0.00000 BAC. I had made that decision - the choice to quit drinking already. That's why I was there - to equip myself with tools. It's kind of like boot camp for an alcohol abuser.

Here's an analogy - if you wan't to join the army you don't rock up in a combi van smoking weed with anti army stickers all over it then flush that out of your system for a week under the army's supervision do you? You go there wanting to do it.

It's simply getting your mind in the right place. IMHO.

I wish you success.

[redhibiscus]

I must be the worse

You were lucky that you could think clearly enough to go to rehab sober. Sometimes, people are so ill and their thinking is so skewed, they go drunk. They actually can't stop without help. But they went to rehab and that is a start. We all have different starting points and our own path to follow.

I wish everyone on this site success, peace and happiness.

[aust_boy]

I must be the worse

redhibiscus;714420 wrote: You were lucky that you could think clearly enough to go to rehab sober. Sometimes, people are so ill and their thinking is so skewed, they go drunk. They actually can't stop without help. But they went to rehab and that is a start. We all have different starting points and our own path to follow.

I wish everyone on this site success, peace and happiness.

I don't think anyone going to rehab is exactly "lucky". I think it is probably important to point out that I am referring to those who think 'yeah I need to do something about my alcohol problem I guess' but go and have a huge piss up just before going into rehab. Not those people who drag themselves from wherever they are, just manage to get a taxi (if the taxi will take them) and get to rehab - some have to call an ambulance because taxis refuse to provide transport. In my short stay at rehab unfortunately it was the former that applied in most cases. I only saw one lady - who came by ambulance and did the detox and she ended up doing very well. My point was if you are thinking about a last hurrah so to speak before rehab your mind is not in the right place. Everyone however is entitled to their own opinion.

[redhibiscus]

I must be the worse

I guess what I said was not clear. I meant that people are lucky if they can sober up and go to rehab not under the influence. But, in thinking about it, getting treatment is lucky. Many people die of this disease and never get the opportunity to go to treatment.

[Miss October]

I must be the worse

Hey Network, hang in there.

You ARE NOT the worse. You can take an entire month off then only drink for 3 days....well starting at 5:00 am is not so good....could you wait until 5:00 pm like the rest of us.....actually, that's not good advice. All I can say is we are all in this rat race together. It's tough. BIG TIME ! Sometimes I wonder, if there is anything worse then inheriting alcoholism. Yes there is. Think about all of the other diseases you could inherit....and NOT HAVE A CHOICE. This one we do have a choice.....and a very hard choice it is ! I always say it's not fair. But we all know that. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. We have to make the best of what we have been delt with. Anyway, look for my post tomorrow. I've been working on it for weeks. I need support and encouragement myself !

Just a little good night wish for you.....I hope your "Special Angel" is watching over you tonight !!

Stay in touch, and don't go far. You need us, and we need you !!