Complete Abstinence.

[~iirene~]

is not for me. to not drink at all tears me down.
can't sleep, smoke too much, restless.
have not returned to old habits, yet i do drink some. ???
i am not ready to stop for good. there is time for that.
only i will know when i am certain to stop for good.
what i do today different is I eat after drinking. sure i feel
like shit the next day, butt i still go to work (many) hours
and don't get into as much trouble.
as of recent, my husband un-plugs the computer now if i
am into a bottle of wine.

i hope the day never comes that i do the unthinkable.
and that is; something totally irresponsible when using.

alot of times here we read people are doing so well, only
to learn or never know they are 'really' still drinking.

Today i am so much better than before.
Complete Abstinence is difficult for some of us.
I for one.

i have no idea when i will drink again.
i don't feel it today. so do i really have a problem?
often i wonder?

:thanks:

[Marshy]

Complete Abstinence.

A lot of people seem to wrestle with the question of abstinence or not.

And of course once you've reached the point of addiction, your addiction will be screaming at you to feed it, if only a "little" bit.

I think it's important to be honest with yourself about how alcohol is affecting your life but also whether or not you're happy with that. If you're happy with it, fine. If you're not, then it's not fine - for you.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

[Preciouspinot]

Complete Abstinence.

Well, you are starting from a place of complete honesty and that is great. This is often a long journey for most of us not, a walk around the block and back if you know what I mean. The truth is you will only quit when you are ready. Most of us start and stop....go back and forth from Mods to AF. It's not easy.

[puddytat]

Complete Abstinence.

Hey Iirene, hear ya!

as of recent, my husband un-plugs the computer now if i
am into a bottle of wine.

maybe this will lighten your mood?
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ill-35685.html

[~iirene~]

Complete Abstinence.

puddytat;716283 wrote: Hey Iirene, hear ya!


maybe this will lighten your mood?
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...ill-35685.html

haha, thats a good one. my mood is good.

[hippie37]

Complete Abstinence.

Irene, your post saddens me somewhat as I could of written that myself this time last year.

You may not see it yourself but I can see so much addictive behaviour from just reading your post. The blaming, the justifying and the rationalising is all addictive behaviour and keeps you locked in that mentality that "I am not as bad as everyone else" "I am different" "I can still function" "I am NOT an alcoholic/addict". If you didn't have a problem stopping and you could moderate successfully then you would not be feeling the way you are by not drinking. That says a lot to me. We all felt that way when we stopped drinking because it's been our lifeline and crutch for so long. I was irritable, had many sleepless nights, I was jealous that other people could drink normally and I felt even more lost without the drink than I did with it to be honest. When we put down the drink we are still left with ourselves and a great big gaping hole which was once filled with alcohol. If we don't fill that gap then we will continue to keep drinking no matter what.

I tried on numerous occasions to quit and was unsuccessful and eventually returned to drinking 'moderately' because I blamed everyone else for my problems. If they would just get off my case I would be alright and wouldn't feel the need to drink as much. It was bullshit. I just needed an excuse to drink because I had given up.

If people here are still drinking then what has that got to do with you, or ME for that matter? What counts Irene is what YOU are prepared to do for YOU. Other people's actions around their own sobriety should not influence your own decision to start drinking again. Is it fair to expect your husband to unplug the computer every time you 'get into a bottle of wine'? Is this in itself not the 'irresponsible' behaviour you mentioned in your post. How bad does it have to get? How much time do you have before it's too late? If you keep convincing yourself otherwise then I feel things may get a whole lot worse before you do finally realise the consequences of your drinking.

I hope that you'll read this post with the way it was intended and written with love and concern. It would be very easy for me to write something and be the people pleaser that I always was (and especially on here). But that does not feel right for me anymore to do that and I would be doing us both a dis-service if I am not honest with you.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[Blue Sky]

Complete Abstinence.

Phil, Wise words indeed. They resonate with me too. Thank you

~irene~ I too feel deprived when I don't drink. We need to turn it around and feel grateful for being sober. I sit her writing with a hangover. Yes, I am functioning but I would function better if I didn't drink. And who wants to go throught life merely functioning anyway? I want to enjoy life.

[dill]

Complete Abstinence.

Irene, your post was so honest and gave voice to what most here often think. Phil, your reply was right on. It showed so much care and love, and maturity perhaps beyond your years. Thank you both.

[greeneyes]

Complete Abstinence.

Excellent post Phil.

iirene, your statement "sure I feel like shit the next day, but I still go to work" speaks volumes.

[keeta]

Complete Abstinence.

iirene,
Honesty is a good jumping off point, as long as it is really honest.
I also see some of the things others mentioned, and like greenie, think the statement "sure I feel like shit the next day, but I still go to work", does indeed speak volumes.

You have to do this at your own pace though, and as long as you don't let yourself fall for the standard lies we tell ourselves to keep drinking, you will move forward.
I wish you wellness, and happiness, and that you find your own way out, and AL is no longer a problem in your life.(if it ever was...only you can be the judge of that)

I know for me, even when I got down to drinking only three days a week from 7 days a week, I tried to tell myself it was improvement, so better, so OK. For me, NO alcohol is ok. I am an alcoholic. Eventually I would have been right back to square one.

Good luck on your journey, keep posting, and keep a close eye on AL (alcohol). Tricky one, he is.

[~iirene~]

Complete Abstinence.

dill;716768 wrote: Irene, your post was so honest and gave voice to what most here often think. Phil, your reply was right on. It showed so much care and love, and maturity perhaps beyond your years. Thank you both.

I love Hipps. When i go off, all i think about is MWO and when i can come back to talk to people who care. Lost my life totally, lost my sanity. Made mistakes.

Trust me, i read and absorb all words. SAD, isn't it? in a way.

Nice to know there is someone to talk to.

Working and helping piles of troubled people.

Drinking once a week still to sleep.

:thanks:

[capricorn2009]

Complete Abstinence.

I was here a while back and have been struggling for years with how to drink in moderation. I think I managed to do it about 20% of the time I was drinking, which wasn't enough! That one drink would inevitably turn into at least 10 drinks and I wouldn't remember getting home, or even who was there on the night half the time! I'd gone to nightclubs by myself after mid week dinner parties because I wanted to carry on. Terrible! This year especially I have spent a lot more time worrying about it, and wanting to do something about it, and I failed miserably every time. I'd go well during the week and then on Friday night I was DYING for a drink, and I'd go overboard. There are things I'd hoped to do this year, and haven't done, and the only thing to blame is alcohol!

So after reading everything I could find on the web, and spending a bit of time here, I thought about also reading Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Stop Drinking". I read the stop smoking book years ago, and it did help for a while, but I started again, then stopped, then started, and the one thing that always made me cave and have a cigarrette was alcohol. Alcohol ruins everything! So I figured it wouldn't hurt one bit to try reading the stop drinking book. Granted, I was already depserate to stop so I'm not sure how much help it is to someone who's not sure.... but so far so good for me! I haven't had a drink or a cigarette for 7.5 weeks now, and I'm feeling amazing. I really don't think I'll ever drink or smoke again. Sure it's early days, but I've never gone longer than 2 weeks without drinking since I was old enough to drink - and that's a long time!

So it's worth a try!

[QuitinTime]

Complete Abstinence.

I like Allen Carr's book Easy Way to stop drinking it's an influnce in the right way. I just need to pay attention to what he says in it.

Day 2 for me but commited this time.

[puddytat]

Complete Abstinence.

Capricorn2009 - wow! you're almost at 60 days -- congrats and am glad you're feeling so well.