Mario's Post for David

[Muddle]

I didn't want to detract further from Mario's post about the passing of his friend David, so I started a new thread.

I can't stop crying due to some parallels between the death of his David, and my husband David. The hurt they both experienced is so similar. And there was nothing I could do. Before we married, I said I didn't want to make an ultimatum, but I couldn't live in a house with illegal substances. Some of his friends and mine thought I caused his death because cocaine and marijuana is less dangerous in many ways than alcohol. Mario's post brought so much of that back. You don't need to reply, I just needed to put it down.

I'm so grateful there is a safe place to say these things. I'm signing off now because I'm so scared I am right. Thank you for listening.

[mario]

Mario's Post for David

maisie first i am terrible sorry about your husband,may he rest in peace.

maisie you were not responsible for your Davids death and your so called friends who say you are, are wrong,

everybody makes the choice, no one forces us to be what we are and no one forced your husband to take what he did,the people who blame you are just in denial of Davids problems and probably there own.I have a few real friends who have died in the last few years including my father,but i know now that i am getting stronger to move on with my life in a more happier and contented way,hope you are to maize.God bless.

[colbe]

Mario's Post for David

I am glad you have everyone here and can get online and post such as you have. I am sorry for your loss and can only imagine your pain. XXX

[puddytat]

Mario's Post for David

Ah, Maisie, I’ve come to realize that your husband died from alcoholism. Doh! When you wrote about his withdrawal pain, (below) I had thought you meant that the “outcome” was getting admitted to the dependency unit for detox/withdrawal, and having it on his medical record. OMG. I’m so sorry you and your David had to face such a horrible death.

But how can you blame yourself? Maisie, good grief, cocaine is equally as dangerous as alcohol. Of course you’re not responsible. Addiction is just a horrible, weird, hard-to-fight issue even in ourselves, much less our loved ones. You can’t control others … just give lots of love and support like you did. Are you available to go into chat? I'm actually sober at the mo'

Whoops, you set me off . . .I'm going to get on my soapbox--it is so wrong that people trying to do the right thing in getting off alcohol have to worry about the implications of having it on their medical record. My husband had been through seizures/paranoid hallucinations/the worst shakes you can imagine--he couldn't even walk without assistance, and would end up in the hospital. His doctor said just tell me when you are ready to detox and I'll get you the meds. Then when he did, the doctor said, I'm sorry, I didn't know the HMO had a rule that only the dependency unit can prescribe those kind of meds, not General Practioners. I'm sure you know the outcome . . .

emphasis Puddy’s in the quote ... sorry I misunderstood and didn't respond more sensitively. Puddy