ever drink when u don't want to?

[Janey]

I haven't started the program yet, but sometimes I find myself having a drink when I don't really want it out of habit.

Kinda like when I smoked like a chimney (over 2 packs a day) for over 20 years. I have been mostly smoke free for the last 16 years. But when I smoked, I was constantly lighting up when I didn't even want one.

Have any of you had this experience?

[Lavande]

ever drink when u don't want to?

Hi Janey,

I have to answer YES to both smoking & drinking!
I found myself refilling my wine glass over & over even after telling myself this is the last one - no more. I used to light a cig not realizing there was already a lit one sitting in the ashtray!

I became so disgusted with it all last winter I finally decided it was time to do something!
I joined MWO in February & started reducing my wine habit. By march 26 I was ready to go AF and did!
I joined QuitNet and quit smoking May 19. It hasn't been easy but I've honestly never felt better

Janey, you need to make your plan, make the commitment and just do it!
You'll never be sorry

Wishing you the best!
Lav

[byebyebridgetjones]

ever drink when u don't want to?

Hi Janey,
Yep...I suffer from the same phenomenon.
Sometimes I'm driving along thinking to myself that I could honestly take it or leave it for that night. Then the car swerves into the bottle-O, and there I am selecting my poison off the shelf, and handing over the big ones, thinking 'What the eff am I doing?'
The compulsion seems to be stronger than the logic at this stage.
Don't know what to suggest.
There must be some kind of 'Stop' message that we can install in our brains ?
All I CAN tell you with any authority, is that as one stacks up alcohol free days ,the impulse to buy alcohol weakens/impulse control strengthens.
I am reading about CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) at the moment, hoping to discover a way to reprogramme my behaviour. It's either that or have someone tie me to the clothesline every day at 5pm, so I can't go out and buy the hooch :H
Good luck with it .
Bridget.

[Janey]

ever drink when u don't want to?

I mean I don't physically want it but it is something I do. I have seen people mention on another thread that when they give up drinking its like they lost a friend.

That's how it was when I quit smoking every time. That was really hard!! I would sit on my smoking hand when I was driving, I missed it so much. The first few times I tried to quit, I would only last a few days or weeks. But finally it stuck. I prayed a lot.

[1967]

ever drink when u don't want to?

definitely YES!
and it is bizarre, agreed.
best to focus on forming new positive habits, and a plan to avoid old bad habits!

[Old Soldier]

ever drink when u don't want to?

guilty as charged. i never was able to say no to a beer, and if i had one i usually drank myself stupid. i still smoke, and enjoy the hell out of a ice cold coke.

[Pan]

ever drink when u don't want to?

Janey;726427 wrote: I mean I don't physically want it but it is something I do. I have seen people mention on another thread that when they give up drinking its like they lost a friend.

That's how it was when I quit smoking every time. That was really hard!! I would sit on my smoking hand when I was driving, I missed it so much. The first few times I tried to quit, I would only last a few days or weeks. But finally it stuck. I prayed a lot.

What does your best friend do for you?

Does your best friend let you drive when drunk? Does your best friend send you out in the middle of the night for supplies? Does your best friend destroy your relationships/marriage? Does your best friend deplete your bank account? Does your best friend make you feel ashamed? Does your best friend make you feel sick? Does your best friend make you a liability to others?

Who is your best friend? Alcohol is not a friend.

Saying all that, I understand.

[Pan]

ever drink when u don't want to?

Janey, it's a habit and habits are hard to break. Really hard. But I reckon smoking is the hardest habit of all to break, so if you've achieved that one, you can do the drinking one. Just apply the same principles.

I asked the same question early on in MWO and all anyone could tell me was that is was a habit and break it. Not helpful advice at all, but I think that is a big question - how to break a habit and there are so many answers or not. I don't know the answer without knowing you, so please PM me if you wish and maybe I can help you in your particular lifestyle/circumstances.

I know how to break a habit now. It takes willpower and plenty of it, but it will happen.

[Pan]

ever drink when u don't want to?

Janey stick around darling. You will find a wealth of experiences and support here. You don't need to take any drugs or start a program unless you feel you need to. You may find, just by being here, that you get the support you need.

I haven't taken any of the drugs mentioned on MWO and I did succesfully give up drinking for 80 days initially. My signature says the rest. I won't take any drugs to do it again.

It is a desire to succeed that makes you succeed.

[work in progress]

ever drink when u don't want to?

I know what you mean... After opening a bottle of wine, I seem to never just be able to have one or two glasses. I have to keep drinking until it's gone. However, I am able to leave bottles that are sealed alone. I have started to have some wine, spill out half (in order to be able to drink at least one more glass) and then I'm fine. I can't buy the little 4 packs either, I treat them like one bigger bottle, drink them until they are gone. It's like the open bottle is luring me and the only way to shut it up is to get rid of it one way or another.

[Angelcakes]

ever drink when u don't want to?

Janey I know exactly what you mean...I did it on Tuesday night after a long long time of pretty good modding. I had a crisis and I almost had to force the wine down...just because it's 'what I do'...didn't enjoy it at all but kept going.
I think Bridge's idea of CBT is exactly what I need...

xo

[tawnywitch]

ever drink when u don't want to?

yep i AM THE SAME,AUTOPILOT TO SELF DESTRUCTION

[colbe]

ever drink when u don't want to?

I never thought of that. Yes, is certainly the answer though.

[dancelot]

ever drink when u don't want to?

Hi, Janey -

I had that exact problem, in fact the habit changes seemed to be an even bigger issue than originally stopping drinking. I used to sit every evening on the computer or watching TV and just keep pouring wine, or going through my "2 or 3 day supply" of the little bottles. Now I keep a supply of flavored sparkly water around, and go through a bottle or 2 a night! I ran out once during the first my first weeks, and had the exact same anxiety and anger I would have previously had if I'd had no AL in the house. So, yes, it's a habit as well as a physical addiction.

I also did the "stop at the store since I might want AL later", even when I was ready to go home and go to bed without it. Or I'd stay up for a glass of wine (rarely was it just one), even though I was ready to go to sleep.

I have been substituting any negative behaviors with different ones (or at least AL free ones, since apparently I get huge comfort from consuming liquids!). From what I know of behavior modification, it does take time. A few years ago I used to teach riding, and used the methods of an instructor who was into a lot of sports psychology and ways to unlearn bad habits (often seen in older or self taught riders).
One point was what she calls "being conscious of one's incompetence" before being able to change an old habit (recognizing it and knowing it is happening). Another point was that it takes 10,000 repetitions to ingrain a new habit. Sounds daunting, but mentally living it, visualizing it, etc, counts (when you think of how often we think of AL that's not as hard as we might think, right?). Hypnosis is also useful, since it really cuts through the crap in our heads.

I used to miss my old buddy AL, I was about to cry the first night of trying to stay AF. I don't now, but I am definitely aware of times when I would have been drinking for sure if it was 2 months ago, and find new ways of working through it, including realizing that sometimes life is crappy, and there's no solution at this moment, but AL is a solution to nothing. It's useless poison.

Good luck and best wishes on your journey everyone, and never give up!


Much love!!!

[Popeye]

ever drink when u don't want to?

I posted this a few months ago.

I seem to remember a couple of posts recently about going to the shop for booze knowing that you didn't want to. This has happened to me regularly (though not recently). I'm wondering how many of us do this.
It only happened to me sober and after a dry period, when you would have thought that not wanting a drink would be a good enough reason not to get one.
I'd think about getting a bottle and decide against it. Then I'd go and get my money and start walking round to the shop, all the while wondering why I was doing it. I'd be standing in the queue telling myself not to be so stupid then my turn would come and the words would come out, I'd hand over the cash and the guy would give me the bag. On the way back, I'd be almost laughing at what a fool I was being. I'd go and get a glass, pour myself the biggest drink I could, whilst ridiculing myself and wondering what the hell I was doing. As I'm writing this it just occurred to me that once I've downed the first mouthful, there is this huge sense of relief. All this happens in a quite surreal and disturbing way. It's almost as if I'm not in control or hypnotised. The subconscious part of my mind completely overwhelms the conscious part, the part that regulates the day-to-day running of my life, and that I find a little scary.
Your thoughts....