Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

[Kimberley]

I had yet another horrible week of drinking due to a difficult counselling session which basically involved the therapist telling me I behave like I don't feel like I have any rights.

He is right - I am totally unable to express my needs even though I try so hard to be there for other people. This made me so sad to recognise this.

It got me thinking about a diagnosis I was given for BPD years ago which I have never tried to work on.

I have looked it up and it's me all over.
Borderline personality disorder | Mind

Has anyone else been diagnosed with this or treated for it? Was it successful? I think I will need to work on this otherwise I will never be able to cope without drinking.

Sorry if my sentences are a bit all over the place - am physically very ill from drinking for 4 days. I have stopped now but feel like my head is about to explode!

[redhibiscus]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Kimberly, so sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. At one time my son was diagnosed with "traits of borderline personality disorder." He was given medications and received counseling. The medications had side effects and the counseling helped.

My understanding of borderline personality disorder is that a person has an unstable sense of self and creates drama or overreacts to events. Thinking in black or white, catastrophizing, having a hard time regulating their emotions, struggling in relationships. Usually people who have this have been traumatized either at home, school, peers, and their central nervous system goes into overdrive when things happen, making it hard to control their emotions and think things through.

I think it is great you are talking to someone. What a sign of strength and courage. Living more in the moment, not in the past or the future, can be helpful. Having a way to release stress and relax - progressive relaxation, meditation, and making sure to get emotions out physically in some way like running or walking. It is for my son, I am not trying to act like a know it all, but know how devastating it can be to feel so deeply, too deeply, about events.

IF you can, take care of yourself today. Let yourself heal by rest, good food, lots of water, and know that we are here for you in any way we can. I find your posts meaningful and connect with much you have to say. I am happy you areon this site when you are going through a rough patch. Keep on posting.

[Kimberley]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Hi Red,

Thanks for your message - that was really nice and I am sorry to hear about your son - it really is a horrible illness and can take a long time to manage. The more I read about it I can't believe I would let it go untreated but then the alcohol abuse seemed to be the most destructive thing overall so I was trying to work on that and also apparently it's quite common to avoid or break treatment.

I have all of these symptoms: * Self-harm , suicide attempts * Frantic efforts to avoid being alone, due to an intense fear of being abandoned - going to great lengths to avoid being alone. * A pattern of unstable and intense relationships. Feelings often alternating between idolising the other person and then thinking they are really awful. * A very uncertain, shaky self-image or sense of self. Doubts about your sexual identity. * Two or more areas of your life where your behaviour could cause you harm and be seen as impulsive. Having unprotected sex, abusing drugs and alcohol, bulimia. * You may have moods that are very difficult to come out of. For example, you may go through long periods (usually lasting a few hours) of extreme irritability, restlessness, unhappiness or anxiety.* Terrible feelings of emptiness.* Anger that's inappropriate, intense or difficult to control.You may feel particularly angry when you think you're being criticised.

In fact I think there was only one thing on the list I don't have! Oh dear!

[redhibiscus]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Looking back at my post, I realized I minimized my son's symptoms. He has tried to kill himself, cut himself, been bulemic and anorexic. Had issues iwth his sexual identity, and really everything you listed. But he is getting better over time. I agree that the alcohol use just makes everything worse. I know it does for me and I don't have those particular issues.

One thing I noticed though is that my son always looks at the cup as half empty - but I think this is common for people who suffer from depression. I have another child and she is opposite. No matter what happens, she always is able to find a bright side. What a gift that is.

Just remember, you are more than any diagnosis. I think that realizing what you have to work on is a great start. Be good to yourself and now that you are worth whatever it takes.

[Kimberley]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Do you know what type of counselling he had? It looks like DBT is the most common for this problem. I think I need to talk to my therapist about setting something up long-term :-(

[scrubbly]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Kimberley: I don't have any sage advice or input for you as I'm not very familiar with your mental health problem, but I just wanted to say that reading your posts I can see you are feeling so troubled and wanted to offer support.

Asking questions, probing, looking for answers is the right thing for you to be doing right now...you will find ways to make it better! Good luck to you. :l

[paula]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Hi Kimberly, I work in mental health, so I'm familiar with pd. With counselling and appropriate medication you can be well. I believe cognitive behaviour therapy can be tried with this condition. You have internet access so get all the information you can and learn and you can better understand this diagnosis.
Wishing you well.

[puddytat]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Hi ya Kimberley, and great job reaching out and asking for help!
And yes, I have been through professional Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) as you suggested. Although it is something, like any cognitive therapy, that needs to be practiced on your own. But the group setting was mostly educational, but also helpful to discuss certain situations, my reactions, and better ways to have handled them within the framework. And also to realize you're not alone!

Check out this website: DBT Self Help

[puddytat]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

True to form, I found it overwhelming to try and remember all the acronyms, and really hard to apply. And I returned to drinking. But that's not the answer.

I'm so sorry you're sick after the last 4 days. My whole month was bad news ...yikes. It's so scary trying to regulate all these out-of-control, deep, crazy emotions. And to not have any center or stable core self to draw from .... it's hard to explain.

Just sayin I can empathize, dear. You strike as very grounded; I mean, your posts seem to come from the same voice. Wouldn't have guessed we share this struggle. You're such a good person, Kimberley, and hope you can take care of you re: alcohol, and keeping on a more even keel. :hugs:

[Boss.man]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

CBT Helped me a lot. It's probably not a coincidence that my relapses stopped around the time I did some CBT sessions with a good therapist. It was the alcohol that was driving my instability. The tools allowed me to get free from the alcohol and live each day in a level mood. I certainly would suggest anyone should try CBT or counseling to pick up relaxation and mental awareness tools at the same time as they free themselves of alcohol. My anxiety dropped in measurable ways. Among other things, my blood pressure is about 25 points lower than it was before counseling, now about 105/65.

[Kimberley]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Thanks guys - you truly are a very supportive bunch. I wish I could cheerlead myself in the way you guys cheerlead me, then I would have far less of a problem!

One of the horrible things about BPD is an inability to ask for help as you don't put your needs forward. I may have to write it down on a piece of paper and give it to my therapist as often I can't physically voice a need for help! It seems so silly, but it's all part of it. But damnnit even if I do have to write it out, I will do it as I really need this help.

Thanks again. I am glad I have you all.

[redhibiscus]

Borderline Personality Disorder anyone?

Kimberly, my son has had a few therapist, and cognitive behavioral therapy. But I think the most important thing is to have a positive relatinship with your therapist. And to practice the skills they educate you about. My son was so bad with the eating disorder at one time, I thought he would have to be hospitalized, but we had done that. I told him to please do what his counselor had told him to do. Eventually he did and began the healing process. It is a journey, a diagnosis that is not "cured" with a simple pill or one or two sessions.

Be good to yourself, know that you deserve the best in life and it can be helpful to practice forgiveness. My son was hard on himself and angry at others. We are all human and despite ourselves, make mistakes. We only fail if we don't keep trying. Have a peaceful day and know that I am sending you loving positive thoughts.