The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

[drylifeahead]

That is what is helping me stay AF for now the 5th day, and going STRONG.
It's the STUPID, embarrassing, inexcusable things that make me toss and turn during the night.
The memories are coming back when I am alone and it's quiet.
When sleep does come, it is so much better than the 'sleep' I got when I passed out.

What worries me a bit is when I hit the 18th day, that will be my longest in 10!!! years.
Yet that is hardly ANY time at all.
It's this nagging voice somewhere in my brain that says it's ok, you can handle a drink,
when I know there is no way I can have just one. I want that voice to shut the hell up.


I've done the therapist thing. Quit after I realized I was lying to even HER!
Did the AA thing once, but didn't find it a welcoming enviroment. Was told
to just try another group but now I live in a small city and just can't
bring myself to go. Although I feel so strong...the regrets are starting to eat me
alive.

BTW

figured out AF - that's alcohol free
ODAT-One day at a time?
NF - Narcotics free

but where do you find the meanings for the rest of the short forms?

[greeneyes]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Hi dry! All that stuff is done and over with. No point in tormenting yourself. Focus on a positive day each day ODAT (yep, one day at a time). That voice will get quieter in time but you have to watch out for it. It seeems to be able to sense when you drop your guard. You're doing great, keep it up!

[scrubbly]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Actually I think for most here NF is Nicotine Free....all the best to you and keep up the good work!

[lilmea]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Dry-Congratulations on your 5 day.

As Greenie said, that voice will quiet down with time. We can't change the past nor can we predict the future. So just try to stay focused on being AF today. Keep coming back, reading and posting. Good luck!

[mario]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

When we start recovery we may develop many fears,we may be afraid of other people,emotions,change,independence,relationships, responsibility or being alone,letting go may seem impossible.
As we move through our journey of rediscovery, by taking care of ourselves, we grow in self confidence and self esteem,we learn that we can choose to grow and recover in spite of our fears,taking care of ourselves requires facing fear,doing things we haven't done before.we all have fears.The choice we make is whether or not to let them stop us from working towards greater health and happiness,its up to us, and its my choice.
we can refuse to turn over our minds to anxiety,fear and worry,
we are powerless over others but not over our own thoughts,you are the driver sitting in the drivers seat of your mind. choose to thing of the need to change in a positive not a negative way.

[Marshy]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Hi Dry,

I agree about not dwelling on the past. But it's no bad thing to remember all the stupid, embarrassing stuff if you're tempted to pick up a drink. One of my motivating factors is fear - fear of where I'll end up if I carry on drinking - and I see it as a positive force, not negative.

Stay strong!

[drylifeahead]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Thank you!

Sometimes I am my own worse enemy.
Here I am freaking out about day 18 and I still have 2 weeks to go ughhh.

I'm determined and strong in this path I've chosen..but was just emotionally weak this morning. Crying came out of nowhere, so I logged on to vent figuring someone would talk some sense into this sometimes dense head of mine

There is soo much to read on this site!!! It's helping and you all are helping me!
Onwards.....

[Boss.man]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Stay with it dla. Emotions are part of the alcohol, and it takes time for your system to rebalance without it. Exercise can help at this point, as I think it helps your body detox and adjust, or maybe just distracts.

Here is a mental exercise someone gave me. It helps a lot, and helps to deal with past pain:

Breath deeply 5 times. Imagine three windows. Look through the left window which represents the past and everything that has happened that you can't change. Embrace it, and then close the window. Look through the right window at the future, your worries and everything that could happen. Embrace it, and then close the window. Focusing on the center window, expand it, and focus on the present. Focus on the smell, and sounds and sensations of right now. Smile. Apply your smile to the sensations. Breath deep 5-10 times.

[Mackeral]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Hiya Drylifeahead,

I just wanted to chip in aswell and tell you how well your doing, as for doing cringe worthy things in the past i like you and most people here could proberly write a book.
I'm glad i read this thread as i also have a habit of beating myself up over things i cannot change. Why not live in the present and make yourself and others proud as we are doing now. Without trying to sound like a pansey we are making memories today for the future and one day we will look back and be proud that we got through the really tough part and were strong enough to change our lives for the better.For me that counteracts all the daft things done in the past.

Keep up the good work

[Angelcakes]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Hi Dry & big Welcome to you.
Just wanted to say the meanings for the short forms - there's no real place that they're all catalogued but if you see something in a thread & don't understand just ask. Sometimes things can get a bit cryptic but stick around.

xo

[drylifeahead]

The things I've done drunk make me cringe.

Thank you.

Just had a long conversation with my long distance b/f, and fell apart apologizing to him for my past behavior. We don't live together anymore..I had to move-long story/not a bad one but a long one-and for the life of me I don't get how he could have put up with me for 7 plus years. I'da dumped my ass a long time ago!!

I know I have to stop beating myself up..not dwell on the past but at the same time learn from it..a never forget situation. And embrace this new way..trusting myself I can keep going.
It's just hard right now for some reason, but you all make sense.

I was just reading a thread through a link from another thread called something like' what I HATE LOATHE DESPISE about drinking'...or something like that, had to log off quickly and now can't find the thread I originally found it in. Can someone please 'bump' it and let me know where in the site I can find it? This place is HUGE!!!