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    #1

    Who am i?

    Since becoming sober nearly everything has changed. Relationships with wife, friends, children, even the short dumpy fellow that works in the post office. My outlook on life has changed. My house is changing due to me being able to work on it now. There is always food in the cupboards. Routine has changed.My skin and weight have changed.
    One thing i didn't bank on changing was me.
    I had always drank from a very early age. At 13 i was in hospital getting my stomach pumped. So for the last 20 years, all my adult life, i have either been drunk or still that hungover drunk that gets you through the day untill you can pop open that first can and then you can start all over again. I have never had the chance to actually be me for a sustained period. I suppose that is what this thread is all about. I feel as though i am actually in my early teens again, trying to figure out who i am and where i fit in. I am learning new things about me every day. For example..I am an obsessivley tidy person.( i never knew that ) i am also short tempered ( when i was drinking i tended to let everything go over my head ) but now stand for nothing, quite proud of that one actually. I am not very talkative, a conversation should now just get to the point (where as in the past i was happy to sit and talk about anything and everything) There are lots of little things i never knew about me that i am only now beginning to find out.
    I am not complaining in anyway whatsoever, infact life at the moment is pretty exciting. And as soon as i find out who i am and what i like doing. It'll be even better
    I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
    One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009
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    #2
    Who am i?

    GREAT Post Mackers..what a wonderful thing to be learning who you are......the possibilities are endless and your journey is only beginning...who knows where it will take you!!

    I am excited for you mate xxx
    "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

    AF 10th May 2010
    NF 12th May 2010

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      #3
      Who am i?

      Macks thats terrific to hear!
      They say that when drinking starts, emotional development stops.
      I felt that way too, getting to know myself after all this time.
      I am actually a much more relaxed person than when I was drinking. I never knew I was laid back but I am :-)
      Its a wonderful journey you are on.
      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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        #4
        Who am i?

        I agree with Oney. I'd like to add that I like the you that you are! You sound like someone I'd be comfortable around. I'm so glad alcohol is no longer keeping you down!
        Dill

        Dont forget, you can: start late, start over, be unsure, try and fail AND STILL SUCCEED!

        If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

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          #5
          Who am i?

          Good on you Mack, you are the owner of your life!
          "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

          Comment

            #6
            Who am i?

            Great post! It sounds like your life is as it should be, a life of learning and growth. I am just beginning to learn how to live in my own skin and to be okay with some of the emotions that pass through me instead of covering them up and numbing out. Your words are inspiring and I'm looking forward to getting to know my true self a bit better, too!

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              #7
              Who am i?

              Macks, thanks for posting openly and honestly about where you are at, and I'm glad to see that you are now searching for your place. So many people assume that simply stopping drinking cures all of their problems, and as you so rightly point out that is only the beginning.

              Just remember not to be too hard on yourself, okay? What's done is done, and you need to focus on the here and no and take it one day at a time. I know it sounds cliche, but spend some time trying to figure what you are feeling at the moment you are feeling it.

              For example, I was walking the dogs this morning and the little one was tugging off to go another direction. I give her a quick pull and a nice little word to get her back where I wanted her.... WHERE I WANTED HER... Yes, a dog should listen to commands, but I realized I was upset because she wasn't behaving exactly how I wanted her to and because of that I was exerting my superior physical will (sharp pull) to get my way. When I thought about it that way I realized how wrong that line of thinking was, but I didn't call myself stupid or beat myself up for it - I considered it a teachable-me moment.

              So be patient with yourself and be open to teachable-me moments, and you'll continue to grow into the person that you truly want to be. You should be very proud of the progress you have made.
              Sobriety Date: June 15, 2007 -- "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got...."

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                #8
                Who am i?

                Great post Macks,

                I'm loving it! :h

                Love Jackie xxx

                AF since 7/7/2009
                It could be worse, I could be filing.
                AF since 7/7/2009

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                  #9
                  Who am i?

                  Great post, Macks

                  I'm finding that I'm going through a very similar process. I was an alcoholic before I got married, and my wife is saying is that she's seeing things in me she never knew existed.

                  When I was drunk and out of control, I tried to control what was going on around me by being narrow-minded and pedantic. I was fairly authoritarian witht the kids. Now I find that I can let go and let others just "be"...

                  Enjoy the ride! Its an amazing journey.

                  Getting rid of AL is just the very 1st step
                  I'll do whatever it takes
                  AF 21/08/2009

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                    #10
                    Who am i?

                    Nice to hear about where you are coming from and where you are going Macks! Keep the news posts coming, we love to hear it!!!

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                      #11
                      Who am i?

                      hi mackster,finding ones self,takes a life time,im glad things are working out for you and the family gyco

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Who am i?

                        Hi Mack, great post. You and I got sober the same week, I know exactly what you mean. The difference is I drank on and off for much longer, I wish I could have done it at your age, but alas it was not meant to be. I wasted so many years in a drunken haze, but I can't change the past or the future I can do something about the present. Good luck and may you continue to grow.
                        .

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                          #13
                          Who am i?

                          Hi Macks, thanks for sharing this, i've not been sober as long as you but I find myself being happy at silly things like driving into town and not wondering if i'm over the limit if a police car follows me!!!! I'm also less tolerant, if someone picks fault I used to just apologise because I would never stand up for myself but now I stand my ground!!!!

                          I am soooo proud of you, you are one of my inspirations here ......

                          Love & Hugs, BB xx
                          sigpicXXX

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Who am i?

                            Ha Macks, what a great post.
                            I like the new you also!!!

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Who am i?

                              Hello Mack. A pleasure meeting the new you!
                              AF since 7/26/2009




                              "There is nothing noble in being superior to other man. The true nobility is being superior to your previous self."--Hindu proverb.

                              "Sobriety isn't a landing but rather a journey." anonymous

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