Rebuilding Period

[gr8dad]

I am either very lucky or very loved by my wife. The years of hurt I have caused her has lead her to cross road in life. To either stay married and finish our lives together or to pack her bags and leave. I unconditionally love my wife and child and could not imagine my life without them in it together as a family. I wait in limbo as she daily struggles to give herself to us and start to heal from the years of torrment. In all of my drunken stupers I can say I never woke up in the morning and said "Today I choose AL over my family" but it would happen any way. Today I wake up and have a choice, to either love honor and cherish my family, wife, and myself or to pick up the drink and drive my own nail into my coffin. As each day passes for me being AF I am falling deeper in love with my son and wife to a level which I never new existed. She is my rock and my son is my inspiration to complete this journey of sobriety and be the best I can to this family. I hope that all people here that are AF or trying to become AF that have family or loved ones will understand that what we have done to our familys did not happen over night and because of that we can not fix it over night. AL gave us an instant gratification but as a wise person once said, "good things come to those who are patient". Moral to this post is to be patient with our loved ones as there wounds will take time to heal.

God Bless!:h

[startingover]

Rebuilding Period

What a wonderful post Gr8.
You have it spot on that things wont be repaired over night but if people want to and are willing to work at it, then anything is possible.
I wish you and your family peace and happiness.

[caysea]

Rebuilding Period

Hi All
Gr8 this is a very insightful post. I have lived a life that inflicted a lot of pain on my loved ones because of my drinking. I hit my bottom and realized I had to get sober for me. The plus to this is everyone else benefits. Because of the many times i tried in the past and failed their wasn't any expectation by my wife that i would remain sober.In getting al out of my life i realized it wasn't talking about success that was going to matter to anyone. They had heard it all before. It is only action in regards to not drinking that would equal success.I still have a letter my wife wrote to me many years ago about "I am only going to have one". She new better than me that i never had only one.
At the start of this attempt to stop drinking something was different in me and also I found this site. I didn't expect to be treated any different by my wife and didn't want her acknowledging my AF I wanted time and the natural change that would come from being AF to work into our lives. I am now 17 months AF and over time have seen the change. It didn't come at the early stages because their was still no trust by my wife in me that i would succeed and i don't blame her.
I think it is wrong for us who have abused al for years some like me decades to expect people to rally around us. We have broken promises time after time to them and ourselves. We have been in our selfish al world for years. Only through time and that isn't a month or two will bridges be mended and relationships reestablished. I am enjoying a sober life better yet so are the people who mean so much to me .We are all benefiting.
ONE DRINK WOULD DESTROY IT ALL.
Waking up with a hangover used to be painful. It couldn't compare with losing those that I love the most in this world.


Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[Angelcakes]

Rebuilding Period

Caysea & Gr8 - thanks for 2 lovely posts. We live in such an 'instant gratification' world that we forget about the true benefits of taking time to do things - anything. And we become so impatient that a lot of us wouldn't get there without insight from the 'pioneers' as it were. So thankyou, I don't have months AF yet and this is very valuable to those of us that aren't there yet.

xo