Woke up with another anxiety attack and a very upset stomach this morning. I don't even want to have any wine today, but it's the only thing that works on both so ... My goal is to cut back to 4 glasses today and be completely sober by 6 or 7:30 (which is usually when I used to start on the 2nd bottle). I'm planning a nice dinner (pasta w/ sauce and a spinach salad) with brownies for dessert followed by a relaxing shower and a book.
What I am battling today is not cravings. It's grief over how many opportunities I blew, how many moments I lost, and all those days that turned into months and years I will never get back. The time is gone and I've allowed the demon AL to steal my health and ruin my looks.
I know I could numb the pain, but it will just be there tomorrow. That would be like be bummed out there was no food in the icebox so you get plastered to forget, and when you wake up, there's no icebox so you get plastered to forget and when you come down, you no longer even have a place to keep an icebox.
I refuse to let that cycle continue in my life anymore!! It's hard being alone all day with a wine cellar, but I played another trick on myself ... Next to my husband, the most important thing in my life is my dog. So I bought a bottle stopper with a little model on it that looks just like him to remind me what I'm missing each time I lose a day to drink. It's a constant reminder he won't be around forever, and I know I can't possibly make the most of our time together in a drunken stupor. :nomonkey:
What I am battling today is not cravings. It's grief over how many opportunities I blew, how many moments I lost, and all those days that turned into months and years I will never get back. The time is gone and I've allowed the demon AL to steal my health and ruin my looks.
I know I could numb the pain, but it will just be there tomorrow. That would be like be bummed out there was no food in the icebox so you get plastered to forget, and when you wake up, there's no icebox so you get plastered to forget and when you come down, you no longer even have a place to keep an icebox.
I refuse to let that cycle continue in my life anymore!! It's hard being alone all day with a wine cellar, but I played another trick on myself ... Next to my husband, the most important thing in my life is my dog. So I bought a bottle stopper with a little model on it that looks just like him to remind me what I'm missing each time I lose a day to drink. It's a constant reminder he won't be around forever, and I know I can't possibly make the most of our time together in a drunken stupor. :nomonkey:
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