Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

[bird]

Since I've been sober awhile I can't take my best friend anymore. She's overly critical,judgemental,and brags about her drop-out kids incessantly. I don't know why I never noticed all this before, and I've known her for 35 years. I never tell her anything anymore because I know she'll have something negative to say about it or laugh about it. Thank God she has not been calling as much. Think I must have been like some sort of soap opera to her before. Anybody else had this problem??...bird

[greeneyes]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

I have had to take a break from my best friend a few times. If I felt it was necessary for it to be a permanent break I would do so. I would say that I felt my psyche (?) was feeling uncomfortable by her presence in my life at the moment and I needed to stay away for a while. So there is closure. Maybe her hearing that is what she needs for her own soul develpoment. And you saying it ad honoring yours is what you need. Just my little 2 cents. :l

[brightlite]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Yes, my friend for 10 years, went through divorces together, my go to happy hour togetherfriend or just get together and drink a bottle of wine friend is now SO ANNOYING I can't stand it. Whenever we get together, she talks incessantly and it is all negative. Complains about her job, her weight, her ex, her exs new wife, her BF, her BF's horribly rotten kids (according to her). I just can't stand it and don't want to hear it anymore. I tell her that I don't want to meet her out for a drink anymore or even have dinner with her (another excuse just to drink wine) and she tells me that she thinks I'm depressed and I should try to get out more. So I've limited my time with her and will occassionally meet her for coffee on a Sat morning or something. So Yes, I know exactly how it is. And you are right, it never used to bother me before.

[Shikakai]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Damn! Your best friends all sound like my sister all rolled up in one! She's the most negative person I know!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Hi all, I try very hard not to be around people who are very negative/pesimistic.
I think the last thing anyone in recovery needs is lots of negitivity thrown at us, it just sucks the life blood from our souls.

[Doggygirl]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

I have found that I am not nearly as negative and gossip oriented as I used to be - tipsy and nasty. So now when I talk to friends who do still "gossip" as we used to do together now that I am sober and more aware of what I say about others, it just doesn't work for me like it used to.

I have distanced myself from some old friends regardless of drinking status. And am slowly making new friends where the focus for me is much more positive.

I feel sad for how negative *I* used to be.

DG

[lilmea]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Hi all, I try very hard not to be around people who are very negative/pesimistic.
I think the last thing anyone in recovery needs is lots of negitivity thrown at us, it just sucks the life blood from our souls

I've had to distance myself from a friend of 10 years. She is so negative...and she doesn't drink at all!

[Lavande]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Yep,
I've walked awy from a best friend and a sister-in-law because of their chronic negativity. I now realize how absolutely, totally, thoroughly depressing they both are!
Who needs it????????
I'm much happier without them in my life

[1967]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

lordie... my dad complains non stop. i just point it out to him non-stop.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Hmm. Bit of a theme developing here isn't there?
I fell out with my best friend of many years after a drunken night, which I still can't remember the details of.
I've realised since then that the details don't matter so much.
She was a controlling, manipulative, negative influence on my life.
I think she was attracted to me because I was easily influenced and controlled, and because my life was a mess, I was the 'lovable F*** up'. It's very gratifying to be friends with someone when they make it so easy for you to feel superior. Well, for insecure people any way.....y'know ?
I trully believe that a huge part of this journey is learning to take charge, and get into the driver's seat of our own lives.
If that friendship is not working for you.....get out....life is TOO SHORT....
GREAT thread.
Bridget.

[WantOut]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Please, buy the movie The Secret. Loved it!...it has really helped with all negativity...both mine and being able to separate myself from others.

[Guest]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Did you ever have your best friend (?) hit on your husband, what I went through here. Just amazing, and he fell for it. Cost him quite a bit of money! Still going through it. Wow! She used me to get to people, then used my husband.

[Shikakai]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Saving Grace;738298 wrote: Did you ever have your best friend (?) hit on your husband, what I went through here. Just amazing, and he fell for it. Cost him quite a bit of money! Still going through it. Wow! She used me to get to people, then used my husband.

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Yea, Saving, a lot of women SUCK! They'll screw anybody and then turn it around as if they did YOU (well, now you know) a favor...

I hope you walked away from BOTH these beast!

[hippie37]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

Usually when we see things in others that we don't particularly like it has nothing to do with them at all and more to do with our own defects in character. We can learn a lot about ourselves by how we interact with others who we may not see eye to eye with.

I would look at why it is I am reacting the way I am with someone. It can usually tell me a great deal about myself. Maybe I could be feeling angry at someone because it's bringing up something in me that i don't like about myself. I'm not suggesting I need to have negative people in my life; I don't, far from it. But I can learn and move on knowing I'm not carrying any resentments towards this person.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Can't Stand My Best Friend Anymore

byebyebridgetjones;738241 wrote: Hmm. Bit of a theme developing here isn't there?
I fell out with my best friend of many years after a drunken night, which I still can't remember the details of.
I've realised since then that the details don't matter so much.
She was a controlling, manipulative, negative influence on my life.
I think she was attracted to me because I was easily influenced and controlled, and because my life was a mess, I was the 'lovable F*** up'. It's very gratifying to be friends with someone when they make it so easy for you to feel superior. Well, for insecure people any way.....y'know ?
I trully believe that a huge part of this journey is learning to take charge, and get into the driver's seat of our own lives.
If that friendship is not working for you.....get out....life is TOO SHORT....
GREAT thread.
Bridget.

Hi Bridge, that sounds not so much a negitive person but like a few I have met before. There is a certain type of person out there that loves to belittle others and behaves in a type of oneupmanship way. They attempt to make the other person feel inferior by pretending to know all lot more than you on any given subject, for example. Another is for them to bully people over whom they have authority. It boosts their weak self esteem and egos but does the opposite to those on the recieving end, it can be very damaging in the long term. Give these people a wide berth, life is too short.