Okay OCTSOBER participants!

[Shikakai]

How's it going? If you fell off the Octsober wagon, how far into the month before it happened?

If you're still on the Octsober wagon, you're 17 days IN! How's it feel? Raise a glass of water and celebrate if you're still on the wagon *cheers*

If you're NOT on the wagon, again, when did you jump ship... why do you think you jumped ship; did you try to reboard the wagon? If you did, did you fall off again? If so, why did you fall off again? If you fell off and got back on and you're still on this October 17, 2009, how have you been able to stay on?

For me, I fell off day 3; got back on day 4; fell off again day 6, but I'm still smiling because I'm still hopeful... without hope, I have nothing and may as well take a swim somewhere...

Anyhow, I had a fabulous dream last night about a way to change my habits. That is the one thing that I know that is keeping us down and unables us to stop drinking... IT'S A HABIT! We're so used to drinking that we drink to go to work; go to the store; go out with friends; go shopping... for some people, they may need a drink to look in the mirror! LOL!

It's such a big part of our lives and that is why we are here today because we just OVER DID IT, and it became habit-forming, and our mothers always told us bad habits are hard to break, and my mother is no liar! :H

Back to this dream, it's so funny I'm almost afraid to share it.

Answer these questions, though, and let's try and help each other to MAYBE get through the REST of OCTSOBER drug/alcohol free

I'm going to put my dream in motion today! I should have the nerve to share it after I take a hot shower and eat a meal; I just hope you guys don't think I'm stupid for trying this, but I'm at my wits end!

[wineilove]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

No it's cool, I'm on day 2 after being past day 15 (slipped, fell down and skined my knee) and then jumped back on the wagon. At least from here, I can ride for free...Alcohol is so expensive.

[Qwerty]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

I was aiming for an alcohol free October. I slipped on Tuesday 6th, the day is a blur. Felt awful the next morning. Started again and have now done 11 days AF. Feeling good about that, but it's been a struggle, and I'm worried I'll slip again. In fact, I'm fairly sure I will, because, ... I just feel unprepared. I get the urge to drink, and I feel like I could cave in at any moment.
~Q

[redhibiscus]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

I am trying for an AF October. I am on day 27 AF, and want you to know that I struggle greatly at different times. Last night I came home from a trip and my mind started the THOUGHTS, that could have led to drinking. What I did was I thought out three different scenarios and talked to my self.

Scenario number 1: I can stop and get wine, feel like sh**, possible make an ass out of myself, wake up sweaty, anxious, upset, and toss and turn for hours. Then have to start all over again. I reminded myself of the last time I drank, 9/19/09 and felt like hell for two days, including an intense pain on my right side, probably my liver.

Scenario number 2: I can stop on the way home and buy some vodka, orange juice and cranberry juice. Have some drinks, and pass out. Wake up feeling like hell, experience horrible anxiety, toss and turn all night and enjoy a Sunday hungover. Get nothing done and have regrets. Then get to start AF all over again.

Scenario number 3: Get home. Order chinese food. Watch the game. Do some laundry. Watch a movie. Get a great night's sleep. Wake up refreshed. Respect my self and stick to my goals.

I chose #3 and I am so happy.

[Qwerty]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

Hi Redhibiscus,
That's great advice. I've been doing a lot of that lately, really forcing myself to stand back analyse my thoughts, and basically tell myself NO. It can be hard sometimes, but it's always worth it. Congrats on 27 days AF. I'm on 12.
~Q

[Shikakai]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

Thanks, Red... that is certainly the spirit

I'm glad you chose number two as well.

Qwer and Wine, I think it's natural to have slips... the most important thing is climbing back in the saddle.

Red's post encourages us to do just that... just gotta stay on this damn horse! LOL!

I was never much of a horse back-rider. Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to stay atop!

Congrats on your continued success.

[wineilove]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

Day three is itchi

I am on Day three AF and I have not slept a wink at night since I started freeing myself from alcohol. Tonight (actually it is morning since it is 4:30 AM) -- another non-sleep night, but a bit different (ITCHING). I have itched for the last 3 hrs and I don't know what the heck it is. I think I went through the worst of things since i was hallicinating badly on day 1 and 2. You know, if it were not from all of these side effects "AF would be easy"

Anyways, WINEILOVE is stil in the game.

[brightlite]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

Wineilove,

Do you take any melatonin or 5-htp. Works wonders...sleep like a baby. Not sure what the itching is about.

[Angelcakes]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

I've heard others talk about the itching...I think it passes in a day or so.
Red - I love that you analysed the 3 options & love love love the one you chose!
Shikakai - I went gangbusters for 9 days until my husbands parents arrived unexpectedly from overseas...was lovely to see them but they arrived on my door with beer and I had one to be social. It just showed me how important it is to be prepared & have a plan - surprises, while nice, are not so great when you're trying to change the habits of a lifetime.
So then this last week we have had social things on about 5 nights and I drank sensibly on one, not at all on 2 and out of control on 2...so I'm back in for the rest of October.
I have also enlisted my bestie (who also struggles with AL)to do No-Bender November with me.
You're right Shikakai & WIL- as long as you are still in the fight you haven't failed.

xo

[Shikakai]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

And what a FIGHT it is, especially when you have NO support system outside of on-line, such as here...

[redhibiscus]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

Shikakai, please tell us more about your lack of support system, I understand how hard it is to confide in people, and there is always the trust factor. Some would take this information and use it to control or shame. This is a fight, a fight for our lives, at least in my case. I have drank for too many years, and now I have liver pain when I drink. It is very scary. I want to be good to myself and live the AF life I deserve and should have had for many years. We all deserve this. Take care.

[hdb]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

Hi All

Red - option 3, great choice - well done we are all very proud of you!!

I am on day 24A/F whoooppppeee, well done everyone else also

Wineilove, I felt itchy, I think its agitated, kinda feels like ants crawling on you? It passes don't worry ... also wineilove you are going through the worst days now - day 3 & 4 were horrid, really really hard but let me re-assure you and give you some incentive it gets much easier - these days were personally the worst for me.

It is a fight shikakai buts its certainly worth fighting for so good luck everyone xx

Angel Cakes - please can I join you and your mate for the No-benber (lol love the name!!!). I don't feel strong enough yet to even attempt modding x

[dma]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

Hey, hope it isn't too late to jump on. I've gotten smashed twice this month, last time was monday, but I really want to turn things around. I'm trying to stay off alcohol and marijuana so good luck to everyone and wish me luck.

@ Angelcakes, your post encouraged me. I'm still in the fight.

[Angelcakes]

Okay OCTSOBER participants!

hdb - of course you're welcome to join in!! I really am so stokedfor you...you're doing amazing things there mate.
dma - maybe you wanna gear up for No-bender also.Whatever you choose.

I had a terribly stressful day yesterday - PMT didn't help at all - and I had some wine last night, not too much and I didn't smoke so I'm OK (the smoking thing is so major for me...if I smoke it means I'm on a real 'get shitfaced' thing and I feel so so aweful the next day)

xo