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    #16
    some opinions needed

    Just a thought Mario, what about Oney and the bike just to add to the confusion

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      #17
      some opinions needed

      Hi Mario,

      I'm not sure what the original question is, I think it's related to the first part of your message regarding the guilt. I feel guilt from time to time about the way I have done things, toward myself too, I've been feeling that for the last few days. A capacity for guilt was embedded in me growing up and that was a big part of drinking for me.

      I think it's quite normal to feel what you are feeling especially as your children and ex-wife are back in your life. Guilt is a way of punishing ourselves and keeps us attached to the past, perhaps you could forgive yourself. You seem such a kind and sensitive person so you are bound to have some thoughts about how you treated your family.

      We only have the present moment and as long as you make the best of each moment then you are doing all that you can.

      Perhaps your partner could understand that these feelings are your emotional self catching up with your new sober life.
      I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you.

      Comment


        #18
        some opinions needed

        Mario .. ((hugs)) .... and just remember to be "real" .... Don't try to cover up something that doesn't need covering up, if you know what I mean ...... I mean - be real .... If you were hiding a little bit of your emotions from her, or from anyone, and they get found out ... then just let them be found out ... It's a whole lot easier than trying to re-cover them. They're real.

        You'll be fine .. **hugs**
        AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

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          #19
          some opinions needed

          Thanks for all your replies and advice :thanks:but i dont think my partner can understand they were emotions & feelings awakened,it didn't mean i was going to act on them i was dealing with them,well trying to,we will see what happens i have a lot of thinking to do. :thanks: again your great


          :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

          Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
          I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

          This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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            #20
            some opinions needed

            :l We're all here for you Mario. Hope it all works out
            Minnie x

            Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending - make yours a happy every after :l

            Sober since 4 November :fingers:

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              #21
              some opinions needed

              Id imagine your partner is feeling a little threatened by your new emotions and indeed in some ways , the new you, your changing faster than perhaps she is keeping up with your changes if that makes any sence. I think you need to try and make her understand some of these emotions, if she feels 'let in' she wont feel so threatened. Perhaps she feels a little betrayed you shared them with someone other than herself, my advice therefore is comunicate, communicate, communicate...she sounds like a keeper!

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                #22
                some opinions needed

                mario;742035 wrote: ok i have Been going through really bad guilt trips & emotional crap for the last 3/4 weeks,if you have read my story you will see where i am coming from but to put along story short,i am seeing my 3 children(17,20,24)again and while seeing them i see my x wife,(not all the time)well i feel guilty about the way i treated her and them before now that i am sober,but my current partner has been 100% supportive in my new sober life and helped me an awful lot. so i pm a very good supportive friend here,and when i pm someone here mwo sends me an email,well my current partner went into my email box and seen in front of her what i was feeling,she didn't thing i had them feelings in me,now this is all they are,feelings/emotions and of course confusion,so when she read emails she freaked and told me in dublinees where to go,i keep trying to explain they are feelings,its not getting me anywhere,plus its still not answering the original question,hope this makes sense, its good to talk
                omg i would be SO pissed off if my significant other or ANYBODY read my email message without my consent!
                i've heard woman at work talking about doing this TOO many times!
                you are a bigger person than me if you can forgive this one.
                i am sorry you are even having to deal w/such a situation, you shouldn't be dealing with it for certain!

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                  #23
                  some opinions needed

                  Oh, Mario--how do you feel about her, my friend?
                  "Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

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                    #24
                    some opinions needed

                    update

                    just to let you all no,i have sent my partner email & text and i no she has seen some of the opinions people expressed,but still no reply i suppose she is not interested in me anymore,in her words i got to complicated for her,becoming sober is not all roses and happiness .thanks for your help,life for me goes on and upward


                    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      some opinions needed

                      :l I'm so sorry Mario
                      Minnie x

                      Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending - make yours a happy every after :l

                      Sober since 4 November :fingers:

                      Comment


                        #26
                        some opinions needed

                        Oh my goodness ! First thing Mario is to change your password !

                        Secondly, she needs to apologize to YOU. She should never have been in your email in the first place. It is obviously she is the one with "issues". You are working on yours and doing a great job from what I can see.

                        Communication is the key to any relationship. If she does not want to discuss, I guess there is not much you can do.

                        As you said onward & upwards. Good for you. You're handling this very well. Take good care of yourself and keep those feelings alive :l
                        Miss October :blinkylove:

                        Comment


                          #27
                          some opinions needed

                          Miss October;745599 wrote: Oh my goodness ! First thing Mario is to change your password !

                          Secondly, she needs to apologize to YOU. She should never have been in your email in the first place. It is obviously she is the one with "issues". You are working on yours and doing a great job from what I can see.

                          Communication is the key to any relationship. If she does not want to discuss, I guess there is not much you can do.

                          As you said onward & upwards. Good for you. You're handling this very well. Take good care of yourself and keep those feelings alive :l
                          I totally agree
                          Minnie x

                          Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending - make yours a happy every after :l

                          Sober since 4 November :fingers:

                          Comment


                            #28
                            some opinions needed

                            Im so sorry mario,
                            somehting similar happen to me at the begining of the year, where my other half got into my password on mwo, change my name, password and went through some of my pm,s, did go through a real rough patch:upset:...( if she love ya she should trust you) It funny now i dont feel strong to express my feelings and my emotions anymore went im on here, it like i've close up iniside me. Maybe one day i will bump my story up and do a part2, when i pluck up the courage. ( now i delete all my history on the p.c )
                            Im glad life for you is still going upwards good for you.
                            Take care of yourself you deserve it.:l
                            Formerly known as Teardrop:l
                            sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
                            my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

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                              #29
                              some opinions needed

                              Mario, Im so sorry!

                              I have no idea what the contents of your e-mail were, but you are fully entitled to your own feelings.

                              You are a wonderful person, and I love reading what you post here.

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