Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

[shirazgirl]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

If I don't have one, I don't have to worry about how many more I will have. That is what keeps me sober. My intital goal was 30 days, now I have increased it to 75 days. I can't extend it much from there, it is to overwhelming.

[peacenik]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

theoretically i want to be able to drink occasionally, but i don't see the point of moderating...the whole point of driking is to get drunk for me.

this is why i cannot moderate
this is why i cannot moderate
this is why i cannot moderate

sorry, just trying to convince myself!

[shirazgirl]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

One last thought from me. I don't want one beer, I don't want one glass of wine, I want either 4wines or 8 beers. One does nothing for me... Why bother.

[Doggygirl]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

peacenik;745646 wrote: theoretically i want to be able to drink occasionally, but i don't see the point of moderating...the whole point of driking is to get drunk for me.

this is why i cannot moderate
this is why i cannot moderate
this is why i cannot moderate

sorry, just trying to convince myself!

Me too Peace. That little tinkly sort of buzz that starts with the first one is NEVER enough. That is just the appetizer. It's either nothing or the Full Monty for me. Nothing is infinitely bettre when it comes to AL!

Shiraz, you are doing GREAT.

DG

[Trish]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

No. I've tried so many many times. Accepting this part of me now & hoping to have peace with it, like others have found.

After not drinking for months, wks. It starts out slowly, but surely I find myself wishing I'd never picked up. The honeymoon phase doesn't last.

[Angelcakes]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

It's funny, I was modding along happily & decided to do 30days AF for no real reason except that I hadn't done it before and I felt it wouldn't be a problem. Well I only made it to 10 days, had one beer, did another week then had a lot of social engagements and basically since then it's been downhill. Last night I found myself drinking like I did over a year ago - no reason, not enjoying it & smoking like a chimney as I drank...paying the price today. It's almost a defeatist attitude.
So now I'm wondering if I was kidding myself and actually I can't moderate...I'm going for 30days again with more tools this time.

xo

[KateH1]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

peacenik;745646 wrote: theoretically i want to be able to drink occasionally, but i don't see the point of moderating...the whole point of driking is to get drunk for me.

this is why i cannot moderate
this is why i cannot moderate
this is why i cannot moderate

sorry, just trying to convince myself!

Me Too! I used to swear that I loved wine because it really enhanced a meal.......well it sure did! But....it always led to many, many more glasses long after the meal was digested!!

I cannot moderate
I cannot moderate
I cannot moderate:l

[queen of denial]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

Manoman said it
If i have 1 i want 2
if i have 2 i want 3
and on it goes for me, no matter how much i drank it was never enough! i could drink the entire bottle while i was home alone (then i would hide the empty and feel shame)
i drank for the buzz or to get drunk every time i drank. Today is day 83 AF & i still harbor the fantasy of drinking in moderation even tho i know i have tried this more than once and failed each time. I dream of drinking AL and in all the dreams it never tastes good in fact the last dream i had i left the bottle of beer after 2 sips something i NEVER did awake. the only thing keeping me from taking that drink now is FEAR.. and i do feel so much better without the AL so why even think about doing something that is has been so bad for me most of my life? I would give anything to NOT have this problem and be normal but I have known for a long time my drinking was not normal. it took me a while to learn how to relax without the AL and now i am sleeping better without the AL & IMO sober sex is so much better than drunken sex can i say that here? A friend said to me that i probably am not an alcoholic since i have quit and gone 83 days AL free but i do not agree with her thinking there. I have always been the type to do whatever in excess, balance & moderation always hard for me...i also think it is an individual thing and each has to find own way and be true to oneself..I get angry at how much AL is part of my culture it seems every week there is a new situation or challenge for me. SUnday the party at a local winery, i just left early and i did not give a sh** what anyone said or thought. i did what i had to do. So to answer your original ? No for me! thanks for asking this is a good thread which has helped me a lot..
QofD

[1967]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

i cannot believe u managed a party at a winery and didn't drink!!!
now that is truly amazing!
good for you!!!

[queen of denial]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

well it was not my party
it was a retirement party for a co-worker and friend.
We made an appearance and did not stay.

[mooderator]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

I answered this on another thread somewhere just the other day.

I will repeat what I said even thought it appears to go again the grain. I am modding. It is working. I can and do stop when I want to. I drink less than once a week usually. I dont chase the buzz anymore. I am not consumed by thoughts of AL. I come here to keep a record on DT but mostly to support and be supported by my mod friends. For me it works as part of a healthy life syle. Any lifestyle choice takes some thought and effort, be it diet or exercise or anything else. I treat this the same way and it works for me. If ever it doesnt then I can assess it again. I accept 100% for many, perhaps most it is not a sensible or doable option, but I hope that it can be accepted that for some it really is possible, if you have not already fallen too deep into the hole, catch it early and really want to do it.

Thats all I can say....

love to all Moo

[queen of denial]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

good for you mooderator,
I wish I could be like you.
Maybe you are not an alcoholic (a.k.a. normal) and I am. Maybe our brains are different & i still have the fantasy of being like you but in my heart I know I am not & this wont work for me.
best wishes
QofD

[Eve11]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

hdb,

Good question and good thread.

Rather than re-invent the wheel, I am cutting and posting from one of our long term moderator threads.

The long term moderators tend to post most often under that thread and if you go there you can really see the struggles and successes of the people who are moderating.

You really received some real pearls of wisdom from a lot of our AFers here. Especially liked the comment from the person who said going AF was hard too... as it is. Because moderators keep re-introducing alcohol into their lives it is difficult for them to ever get past the craving unlike someone who gives it up and really gets better control over that. So we modders keep saying how hard modding is and probably don't acknowledge enough that going AF is a challenge too. We understand and know that it is but I guess we just get hung up on how hard modding is for us.

Bottom line, whether we are AF or we mod - we are all here because of the common denominator (problem drinking) and we are unified and bonded in that. It's great how we can all help each other and jump around on these boards and share our wisdom.

Here's from our mod squad thread.

Sunbeam,
How I agree with how we'll never be able to drink as a "normal" person. I don't think anyone who comes here can.

I do believe there is a difference between a hard core alcoholic who can't get through a day without drinking and the problem drinkers we see on the mod board. Some folks will never be able to moderate but I do believe a few can. They just have to be aware that just as an AF'er can relapse and drink again, they can relapse and drink too much and not meet their mod goals. It is only when they relapse too much that they should then reconsider whether moderating truly fits into their plans or whether they need to go AF.

I certainly have seen some great harm reduction in my life since I've been seriously moderating since 9/2/8 but have had a couple of times where I really lost control of modding although there was still harm reduction with that as I am now so much more aware to not drive when drinking and not drink like that in front of my kids. I have been AF this whole week and don't even have the usual inclination of looking forward to the week-end when I allow myself one or two. I just love how I feel when I wake up AF from the day before. I know we relish in the belief sometimes that the "mod life is the good life" but the AF life isn't so bad either!

Hugs,
Eve11

[beatle]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

Mooderator, that was a very interesting and eye-opening post.

I am definitely not one who can moderate and I have accepted that. But I also don't like the attitude that so many here have that just because many, or most, of us can't moderate, it's impossible.

It seems that many here have become like converts to a cause and they feel the need to convert everyone to their way of thinking. I know the world doesn't work that way.

I wish I could moderate. I wish I was like you; I know I am not and never will be, and I accept that. Just like I know I will never be tall, and I accept that. I don't need anyone shouting at me: "You will NEVER be tall!"

So, Moo, Be happy, be proud, and be vigilant.

[beatle]

Has modding truly worked for anyone? Truly?

Oh, and Eve, great post, too. Also enlightening. All in the same spirit.