The last time I got drunk was last Sunday. I felt terrible on Monday and finally reached my wall. I threw out all the wine and liquor and tossed my favorite wine glass! Then I proceeded NOT to drink for the entire week. (m-F). I told my husband on Monday night that he should not buy me anymore wine or champagne at the grocery store and that he could have his beer, but it had to be kept down in the basement fridge. He agreed. I asked for his support and he agreed not to ever ask me if I wanted a "drink" while he was fixing his. So, we had a good week. On thursday ngiht, his office had a trick or treating party for all the kids that we went to. As soon as we got in the building, he brought me a glass of wine. (????!!!) Since he handed it to me in public, I took it and drank it. Because I KNEW that we had NO AL in our house, I allowed myself three glasses (drank them slowly!) and I felt good on Friday! :-) Then Friday night, we went out to eat and I had 3 glasses of wine again. (Again, I KNEW I couldn't keep on drinking once I got home, so I allowed myself this little indulgence)....and I feel great today! (Sat.) Then my husband goes to the liqour cabinet--which now has nothing in it---and wanted to know where everything was!! I had not told him that I threw everything out, but boy was I unprepared for the response when he found out. I calmly told him that I threw everything out reminding him that he agreed to have just his beer in the basement fridge. Well he got pissed and said, "that is such bullshit! I can't believe you did that! That was so inconsiderate! That is just such a lack of control on your part not to be able to have it in here!" And I said, "Yes, that is what I'm admitting. That I have no control over it. It's a problem for me." Then he said, "What is your problem? I mean, are you an alcoholic??!!!" And I said, "Well, yes, I think I probably am." He continued to question me like why was it so hard for me? Is it really that big of a deal for me, and so on ,,,and NOT in the nicest of tones, either. So I left the room and stayed away from him for a couple of hours doing the laundry. Now he is acting like nothing ever happened and is cooking dinner. I have to tell you that I feel hatred for him!!! I had a wonderful week, and can you believe he has not offered me any support!!?? WHAT AN ASSS!! You have to understand that this is a man who is soooooooo selfish and was sooooooo spoiled as a child. I knoew this before marrying him, but I never thought it would become an obstacle or a "problem" until I actually needed him to put MY needs before his. It's not possible for him!! I don't know what to do! I can't leave him...I'm a stay-at-home mom with three kids and no job!!!!!!!!!! feeling stuck and pissed and unappreciated and not understood at all!!! If anyone read this, god bless you because I am rambling, but it is good to get it out!
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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