NO-Bender Challenge

[roberta930]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi again - I meant to say "positive" not poitive! haven't even had anything to drink tonight!(yet and hopefully not!!!) -must check my message before sending!!!! love to all X

[Elsa]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi Roberta
When I first found this site I said I was going to stop completly, but after many many attempts I found I could'nt, but I had considerably cut back on my drinking, and I just had to look on that as an achievement, rather than me failing. Then eventually I found I could go AF for a few days, then I'd drink, then I'd go AF. Just being able to go a few days was an achievement. I'm still drinking on the odd night, as my previous posts show all too well, but I'm going longer on the AF stints. This is just a journey, and as long as I'm going in the right direction I figure I'm making progress. Anyway, the ramble about myself was just to say that, firstly, I'm in no position to judge anyone on their drinking, and secondly you sound like you are still going in the right direction, and this will take time. Also (this post will end soon I promise), we all tend to judge ourselves a lot more harshly than we would judge anyone else, so give yourself some credit for still being in the fight and not just giving up. Take care:l

[hdb]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi Roberta, Elsa, Angel, Aunty and everyone who may come along...

Well done Roberta with what you have achieved and well done for coming back. It sure is so very very hard, my goal is to drink moderately - I have just shown that I am not ready for this yet so I am back on our wagon until I feel I can attempt it again. If that day ever blooming dawns I am sick of thinking about it!!

I am becoming obsessed!! :boohoo: I also feel (know) that I drunk more than I normally would have done on Saturday (by normally I mean when I drank every night). grrrrr it get me so very annoyed sometimes, I wish I didn't like it - can you name one other thing thats would make you feel the terrible effects of a hang over that you would actively do again and again to excess?? :headbanger:

AF day two here sorry for being a grouch it just really ticks me off sometimes :upset:

[roberta930]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi All -especially Elsa and HDB who seem to be in the same place I'm in at present- really need to be AF but Xmas is looming and I am so worried about going to husbands firms dinner (his firm is international )and not getting drunk(i.e. talking too much!) He is a very senior management guy now and we will be with the bigwigs/directors on top table - I probably wasn't great last year! - but may have got away with it as no-one really knew me and I am fairly used to being able to *speak when nearly drunk- * it becomes a bit of a skill after 20-30yrs- please give me some advice - R

[hdb]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi Roberta, if I was you I would drive, that way it takes away all temptation.

If I didn't this would probably happen - I would have a couple before I attended the doo to give my confidence a boost, probably wouldn't eat properly at the meal because I was nervous and would drink too many to steady the nerves. Then hey presto wake up the following day worrying that I got tipsy and made a bit of a muppet of myself. :blush:

Thats just me though at the moment Roberta - having a bit of a downer on myself and my ability to control freaking AL. Its like a tap at the mo, completely turned tightly off or completely on full flow!! :upset:

If you are intending to have a drink though Roberta, why don't you try having an alcoholic one and then a soft drink? Or trying to make your one drink last two of your husbands?

When is you doo Roberta? x

[rubywillow]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi, guys.. Been missing reading here, but SOOOO busy. Love to you all, and Happy Thanksgiving to those in the States!

[Elsa]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi
Roberta- It does'nt sound like this is an event you can simply not go to, so I'd go with hdb's advice to drive if possible, then if you can't get through the evening without a drink you could wait untill you get home after the event for a drink. Thats what I used to do when I went to work events as I would never drink infront of people from work (well I did once, and once was enough), now I just don't go. If you don't drive try to pace yourself and not drink before you go. Best of luck.
hdb- take care of yourself, things will get better.
I really want a drink tonight, so I'll go put some glut in OJ and hope it goes away.
Take care:l

[hdb]

NO-Bender Challenge

Thanks Elsa, I might start my supplements again - they might pick me up a bit. Looks like your writing at the witching hour(s). Its always worst just after work for me, once I have eaten it feels a lot better - good luck Elsa hope the L-Glut worked x Have a good night all

[roberta930]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi All-Thanks for the advice- the "drive home" idea sounds good Elsa & hdb- the only problem being that husband dosen't like being driven and won't be drinking much/if anything (as he dosen't have any kind of problem in that area and likes to be in control) he might be tired though - so I'll use that. The Doo is in 2 weeks and I had also hoped to lose weight, but not much luck there. When I'm nervous or under pressure I also eat for Britain!(as well as drinking too much) a bit like the tap situation- hdb so aptly described.
It was good to hear that other people have the same problem regarding work parties and I would rather not go too. I cringe every time I remember myself getting smashed regularly over twenty years ago at Xmas works parties and making a complete idiot of myself. In those days I didn't think I had a problem- later on I just stayed away like you Elsa.Do your husbands know that you have a problem/or the extent of it? or do you keep it under wraps like me?
Well good luck everyone as another weekend looms up. Hope you're staying strong Elsa- you really seem to know yourself-which is probably a big part of containing this thing.
Keep up with the supplements hdb (how do they work?)
Happy post-thanksgiving to all in USA
Love R X:thanks:

[Angelcakes]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hey guys - lot's of support going on here which is great. I have to chime in with some points:-

I think it's really important to note how far we've come (as Elsa said) you may not be at the final destination right now but as long as you're on the right path & making progress. If you're still fighting then you haven't failed...no matter how shit you feel. I was here for about 18months before getting this AF stretch together - if I can anyone can.

Roberta - drive or go AF babe...humiliating oneself & ones other half in front of his bigwig workmates is just...well, humiliating & best to be avoided at ALL costs. I've been known to tell Mr Cakes' work colleague that he was a pain at work - really, really embarrassing. MrCakes told me that in confidence, I blew the confidence...felt like crap.

hdb, Mama Zum & Mame - stay strong sisters.
xo

[hdb]

NO-Bender Challenge

Thanks Angel x your right we have done and are still doing good, I have been AF since Monday and I am continuing until 18th Dec when I go out with my friends for our chrimble doo - and then I am not going to go bonkers.

How is Aunty Mame, is she OK Angel??

Has anyone had any thoughts about the festive season and how you plan to take it AL wise? I am not sure - I don't know what to do, at the moment I am think New Years Eve only... I am scared if I start Christmas Day that the temptation to continue for the holiday break will be to entising ...

Yes my hubby knows that I am not at all happy with the amount I used to drink... in fact how much we used to drink together, we would both equally encourage one another. He would happily drink every night if I bought it in but he has stopped drinking in the week and only drinks at the weekend now. He does drink to much still though ... but nowhere near as much as he did so thats a good thing. He is happy with his alcohol consumption and he is not like me he can have a couple and stop.

Have a good day everyone x

[Angelcakes]

NO-Bender Challenge

Oh yeah - Mr Cakes knows all about my struggles. He's seen me very messy many times and been worried about me.We also used to drink together but he would see me spiral out of control and then back off/stop drinking - I guess seeing me scared him. He still drinks, gets drunk too but he's more of a social drinker...and me, I just become unpredictable when I'm drunk - not good.

hdb - I'm gonna take it one event at a time. The first is 11-12 Dec we are going camping with some good friends...I'll allow myself a couple of beers (3 on Sat afternoon/evening)
Christmas day I'll allow myself a couple of glasses of champagne and also on NYE.We've been invited to a barbie also - 2 beer event. My number one goals are not to smoke cigarettes and I'm not going to drink white wine unless it's with a sit down meal.

xo

[tiptronic_ct]

NO-Bender Challenge

May I be so bold as to suggest a name for the December Challenge? I think I may have mentioned it in passing as far back as September, but I can't be sure.

How about the DE-Somber challenge?

A time for all of us to focus on the positives in our lives: whether they be big ones, or everyday little ones.

Just an idea...

[roberta930]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi - so very interesting to hear your individual stories- I am such a mess- and husband is on a diffrent plane- but don't think I will ever be able to discuss it with him - tried 20 yrs ago and he just went hyper and couldn't cope with it -so I had to go underground- he had the same problem with his parents deaths when he was in his twenties-his Mum had early Alzheimers when he was in his teens and he just hated her- and treated her so badly -his Dad was in his eighties by then - but maybe he was just deprived and wanted to
have a normal life? we all have our problems!

[Elsa]

NO-Bender Challenge

Hi
There is no Mr E, just a couple of old dogs, who know all about my drinking. I hide it from everyone else now though after admitting it to some friends, who I now haven't seen for over 5 years.
I don't know what to do about Christmas, I'm working most of the time, so I guess I'll be good, although I can't imagine not having a glass or two as a Christmas treat (even though I know I would'nt stop at 2), but then I know that I have to stop thinking of alcohol as a treat, so maybe I should aim for an AF Christmas. I'll have to see how it goes.
The cravings just went away last night, and I ended up making a real hot choc, not the low calorie stuff, and chatting to an old friend. It was a much nicer evening than getting drunk, and no hangover, I will avoid the scales for a while though.
Take care:l