So about 6 weeks ago, I get blind sided by some 21 one year old kid who proceeded to get out of the car and yell at me. Everyone's okay, I get my rental (minivan, didn't think I looked like a soccer Mom), get my car fixed and everything is okay. When that accident happened, I was probably about 10 days sober. I was grateful for that. Not that I ever drove drunk, but I did drive hungover and sometimes, I think that may be worse.
So today, get to the gym by 7am, take a back to back spin/hatha yoga class. Come home, clean house, steam furniture and carpets and go meet some friends at the local sports bar to see some football/nascar. Had myself two big club soda's w/ cranberry and lime. I'm getting more used to going out and not drinking. Came home, cooked my husband dinner and thought I should go to the market to get food for work for the week so I didn't eat any junk. As I'm making my way to the market, my gas light goes on. Oh good, gas station right on the corner. Pull into the pump and realize that the cap is on the other side (drove the minivan to long I guess)...turned around and started to back into my spot. All of the sudden I heard that all to familiar noise again. Yes, someone was trying to beat me to the pump and drove across the back end of my Envoy (he had a BMW). Get out and the guy started to yell at ME. There was only a scape on my bumper, but his car was scraped good up the side of his car. I couldn't believe it. Doesn't anyone take responsibility for their actions. Thank goodness there was a witness to reiterate the truth. When the cop came, the guy still tried to lie and say I backed up into him.
Anyway, the point of the story is that I stopped drinking on October 2. I don't count days anymore as I kind of lose track (I do every few days or so). I got kind of pissed today because I was thinking, great, this is what happens when you try to take care of yourself. Then I realized I was being foolish. Feeling sorry for myself, almost looking for an excuse to go pour myself a wine (yes, there is spirits in my house as my husband drinks). There it was, the demon, not as dead as I thought it was. Like a whisper in the wind, trying to allure me with self doubt, telling me, see it happens anyway, why not enjoy yourself. I am grateful to have the clarity to recoginze this because prior to getting sober, that EXACTLY what I would have done. Go right to the hooch for some comfort.
The demon is a liar and is still trying to grab on when he sees the opportunity. I am extremely grateful that I am in the right mind to recognize him now....Thanks for the listen. SB
So today, get to the gym by 7am, take a back to back spin/hatha yoga class. Come home, clean house, steam furniture and carpets and go meet some friends at the local sports bar to see some football/nascar. Had myself two big club soda's w/ cranberry and lime. I'm getting more used to going out and not drinking. Came home, cooked my husband dinner and thought I should go to the market to get food for work for the week so I didn't eat any junk. As I'm making my way to the market, my gas light goes on. Oh good, gas station right on the corner. Pull into the pump and realize that the cap is on the other side (drove the minivan to long I guess)...turned around and started to back into my spot. All of the sudden I heard that all to familiar noise again. Yes, someone was trying to beat me to the pump and drove across the back end of my Envoy (he had a BMW). Get out and the guy started to yell at ME. There was only a scape on my bumper, but his car was scraped good up the side of his car. I couldn't believe it. Doesn't anyone take responsibility for their actions. Thank goodness there was a witness to reiterate the truth. When the cop came, the guy still tried to lie and say I backed up into him.
Anyway, the point of the story is that I stopped drinking on October 2. I don't count days anymore as I kind of lose track (I do every few days or so). I got kind of pissed today because I was thinking, great, this is what happens when you try to take care of yourself. Then I realized I was being foolish. Feeling sorry for myself, almost looking for an excuse to go pour myself a wine (yes, there is spirits in my house as my husband drinks). There it was, the demon, not as dead as I thought it was. Like a whisper in the wind, trying to allure me with self doubt, telling me, see it happens anyway, why not enjoy yourself. I am grateful to have the clarity to recoginze this because prior to getting sober, that EXACTLY what I would have done. Go right to the hooch for some comfort.
The demon is a liar and is still trying to grab on when he sees the opportunity. I am extremely grateful that I am in the right mind to recognize him now....Thanks for the listen. SB
I am similar AF to you I think and its so very good to kick that demon up the ass when it whispers in your ear!
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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