I wasnt here very long before I got back on the binge drinking bus. Only 8 days can you believe and now it is every 3 or 4 and there I go again. My god I wish there was a magic pill, or that I could just BAN, BAN, Ban myself from alcohol.
I am trying to understand why? I have had a very stressful couple of years, my husband is an Iraq vet who now has PTSD but we have worked so hard and now it is all coming right. I know WHY I have drunk in the past, to escape from this, but why now do I continue? I HAVE to put in place alternatives to escape, walking by the ocean, reading, watching a movie, but getting out of the house would be good. I drink because for me that is the escape. No more can I continue this, it is going to begin seriously affecting me, my job, my kids, my whole, whole LIFE! How can I allow this beast to win, to envelope and swallow me. I am such a strong woman, I have survived a very tough 4 years with my husband fighting on the front lines all over the world, on my own, holding the home front tight and strong with love and unwavering support. I CAN DO THIS, this little thing in comparison......but it is not so little is it? It digs deep within myself and I have to extract it no matter the pain, FACE the pain, and replace it with the life I yearn for.
I am going to draw my plan up today and begin again this journey. Thank you for the support and understanding that I know flows through you all
I am trying to understand why? I have had a very stressful couple of years, my husband is an Iraq vet who now has PTSD but we have worked so hard and now it is all coming right. I know WHY I have drunk in the past, to escape from this, but why now do I continue? I HAVE to put in place alternatives to escape, walking by the ocean, reading, watching a movie, but getting out of the house would be good. I drink because for me that is the escape. No more can I continue this, it is going to begin seriously affecting me, my job, my kids, my whole, whole LIFE! How can I allow this beast to win, to envelope and swallow me. I am such a strong woman, I have survived a very tough 4 years with my husband fighting on the front lines all over the world, on my own, holding the home front tight and strong with love and unwavering support. I CAN DO THIS, this little thing in comparison......but it is not so little is it? It digs deep within myself and I have to extract it no matter the pain, FACE the pain, and replace it with the life I yearn for.
I am going to draw my plan up today and begin again this journey. Thank you for the support and understanding that I know flows through you all
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