Not quite good enough

[akgirl]

I am so frustrated with myself. With AL and other aspects of my life. I wish I could just give myself a break sometimes. When will good enough......ever be good enough?

I feel I am good at all these thing but....

good worker.......there's always more I could do, I tend to slack sometimes.
good mother......should do more homework with him and make him brush more.
good girlfriend.....make more time with him, hardly ever see each other anymore.
around the house.....I keep it clean but there are so many projects I could be doing.
cooking.......I do sometimes but order in too much.
AL......only having a couple a night but not AF

Ahhh, the list could go on!! I'm not the worst person in the world, nor am I the best. I wish sometimes I could just accept myself for who I am. I am so hard on myself. I know a person should always strive to be a better person, but shouldn't there be a time when you could say......you are there.

Thanks for letting me vent.
Anyone else feel this way?

[startingover]

Not quite good enough

I think many of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves when in actual fact we are pretty damn good as we are.
Why dont you try for a morning doing everything you think you SHOULD do and then in the afternoon do everything you WANT to do? See how you feel then.
Its all about balance I think. I find it hard to get that balance too, but I am working on it and I am working on losing that need to be perfect at everything, because I am not and no one else really is either

[greeneyes]

Not quite good enough

I can relate. But I don't do it so much anymore. Somewhere in the AL / AF adventure and the divorce extravaganza I lost interest in that stuff. In a very, very good way. I can't say how I got there or I'd surely share. :l

[akgirl]

Not quite good enough

Oh, I should also...

volunteer
eat better
exercise
save money

:bang
I always feel guilty and think I should be doing more or doing what I do better. Or do I feel guilty because I know I am not really doing my best. Always been somewhat of a perfectionist, but its driving me crazy lately.

I am going to find a way to just let it go and accept that I AM a good person and not superwoman. I am human and I am trying....I hope god knows that.

:l
Ak

[greeneyes]

Not quite good enough

Guilt is an awful shroud. YOur sense of self worth will rise automatically with some AF time under your belt you know. You won't even have to work at it!

[Marshy]

Not quite good enough

Hi AK,

I've just posted this in monthly abs: I'm reading The Tao of Sobriety and really enjoying it - it's a good reminder of how to deal with all the negative voices in our heads.

And there's a whole chunk on overcoming guilt!

[akgirl]

Not quite good enough

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your advice and understanding.

I think part of me feeling this way lately is because winter has set in. It takes a while to switch over. And just knowing there is a long dark winter ahead makes me feel like hibernating. And frustrated because we are very limited on what you can do when its 20 below. Time to break out some indoor projects and get over it already.

I know I am a good person, just wish I could do more sometimes. Seems like there is always something in the way....money, time, weather....me

[Suni]

Not quite good enough

I wish sometimes I could just accept myself for who I am.

HINT!
You are absolutely perfect the way you are which is ...........imperfect
just like everyone else!
:h

[akgirl]

Not quite good enough

:l Suni.....thanks

[greeneyes]

Not quite good enough

akgirl;760231 wrote: I know I am a good person, just wish I could do more sometimes. Seems like there is always something in the way....money, time, weather....me

Wonder if those barriers are the universe's way of trying to get you to relax about it. Just a thought.

[dancelot]

Not quite good enough

I used to. Then one day while kicking myself over what a failure I am, what an obnoxious bitch I am, what a sorry ass person I am, and being totally frustrated over the fact I couldn't seem to ever get past those things, I decided to try some advice I'd read that where you look in the mirror and say, "I accept myself unconditionally right now".

When I thought about what that really meant, I realized all the crap I lived through growing up, all the mistakes I made in my adult life, as well as all my accomplishments are ALL a part of me. By trying to run from the nasty stuff, or beating myself up over my lack of perfection, I gave so much power to those feelings, they overwhelmed me, and I was never "good enough". When you see yourself as not good enough, you set yourself up for failure.

I had to accept myself totally, as I am, not perfect, only human. It really was as if a weight had been lifted off me. Perfectionism will never exist, and my pursuit of it was destroying me (in so many areas of my life). I can only live in the here and now, I do what I can right now. Just like in sobriety, I can't worry about "can I do it forever?". I can only do something right now, today. If I take care of it today, tomorrow is more likely to be successful. Worrying about next week, or next month is useless (worrying is a total waste of time, in my opinion. It solves nothing.).

The final thing that put everything in perspective was my mother's illness and death two years ago. A clean house is great, meeting work deadlines are important, but when it comes down to it, they are nothing in comparison to what's really important in life. Even there, one cannot dwell on "what ifs" (and believe me, there were plenty of those). You do the best you can, you tell someone you love them, and give yourself credit for what you did right, and learn from what you didn't.

Give yourself credit for the positives, and at the end of the day just let the undones go. :h

[greeneyes]

Not quite good enough

greeneyes;760214 wrote: Guilt is an awful shroud. YOur sense of self worth will rise automatically with some AF time under your belt you know. You won't even have to work at it!

Come to think of it, divorcee time under my belt did the same thing. :H:H

[akgirl]

Not quite good enough

greeneyes;760242 wrote: Wonder if those barriers are the universe's way of trying to get you to relax about it. Just a thought.

Hmmmm, interesting thought.