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Hi I woke up today and thought 'what the hell am I doing', how have I got in the postion where I am drinking so heavily. My mum was a alcoholic and died aged 59 living in a bedsit on her own - all from the demon drink. I spent my childhood with a drunk until went to live with my dad. Went to University and hardly drunk alcohol -- so what has changed!
I am a very successfull academic -- so should know better and I am also a chrsitian and actively involved with church --- BUT 6 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer -- they told me it was bad and not curable -- to cut a long story short - the did a repeat biposy which was normal -- after this event I developed what I know understand to be survivor guilt -- - why have i been spared!
it was just after this that i got a mega promotion and the job is pretty stressful so i found it hard to relax so stated to have the odd glass of wine -- its now reached the point where its a bottle a night - sometimes i even open a second
but its my secret - dirty little secret - as most people think i dont drink at all --
so am i becoming my worst nightmare - turning intoi my mother -- today I realsied the slope was getting slippery and i need to do something about it -- its impacting on my work as Im tired, on my weight - put on 2 stone and my mind as i am starting to hate myself
due to my job i cant get medical help as it would go on my records and altho there is counselling at work -- i couldnt go with this --
so i am here - and today is day one of being alcohol free --and now the hard part - last autumn i quit drinking for 10 weeks -- was easy and was for religous reasons - so i told people -- it was i knew what was going on my dirty little secret -- and then i had one drink and well in a year the longest i have gone with out alcohol is 5 days -- so any tips please
many thanks for reading my ramblings :thanks:
Hi I woke up today and thought 'what the hell am I doing', how have I got in the postion where I am drinking so heavily. My mum was a alcoholic and died aged 59 living in a bedsit on her own - all from the demon drink. I spent my childhood with a drunk until went to live with my dad. Went to University and hardly drunk alcohol -- so what has changed!
I am a very successfull academic -- so should know better and I am also a chrsitian and actively involved with church --- BUT 6 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer -- they told me it was bad and not curable -- to cut a long story short - the did a repeat biposy which was normal -- after this event I developed what I know understand to be survivor guilt -- - why have i been spared!
it was just after this that i got a mega promotion and the job is pretty stressful so i found it hard to relax so stated to have the odd glass of wine -- its now reached the point where its a bottle a night - sometimes i even open a second
but its my secret - dirty little secret - as most people think i dont drink at all --
so am i becoming my worst nightmare - turning intoi my mother -- today I realsied the slope was getting slippery and i need to do something about it -- its impacting on my work as Im tired, on my weight - put on 2 stone and my mind as i am starting to hate myself
due to my job i cant get medical help as it would go on my records and altho there is counselling at work -- i couldnt go with this --
so i am here - and today is day one of being alcohol free --and now the hard part - last autumn i quit drinking for 10 weeks -- was easy and was for religous reasons - so i told people -- it was i knew what was going on my dirty little secret -- and then i had one drink and well in a year the longest i have gone with out alcohol is 5 days -- so any tips please
many thanks for reading my ramblings :thanks:
?We are one another's angels? 
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
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