Do you believe that you will have high self-esteem when:
• You make a lot of money?
• You achieve a promotion in your work?
• You have an expensive car or an expensive home?
• You are famous?
• You find the right relationship?
• You receive approval from the important people in your life?
While all of these can result in momentary good feelings, none of them create a deep and abiding sense of self-esteem.
Self-esteem actually has nothing to do with your achievements or with other people. Self-esteem results from two things regarding your inner relationship with yourself:
• How you see yourself
• How you treat yourself
It might make it easier to see how you create your own high or low self-esteem if you think of your feeling self as a child within. No matter how much you achieve or how much approval you get from others, if you are treating your inner child badly - by ignoring your feelings and judging yourself - you will continue to feel inadequate. If you continue to see yourself through the distorted eyes of your parents, siblings, peers or teachers, and continue to treat yourself the way they treated you or the way they treated themselves, you will continue to have low self-esteem. If you open to seeing the truth of who you really are - a beautiful divine soul who just wants to love - then you will treat yourself as you would treat anyone whom you saw as a beautiful divine soul. When you consistently take loving action in your own behalf, you will feel valued rather than inadequate. Loving actions might include:
• Speaking up for yourself with others and telling your truth without blame or judgment in conflict situations.
• Taking care of your body through eating well, not using mood altering drugs, drinking Acohol to excess, getting enough exercise, enough sleep, and so on.
• Creating a balance between work, rest, play and creative time.
• Treating yourself and others with respect and compassion rather than with judgment.
• Attending to - rather than ignoring - your own feelings and needs.
• Taking the time to pray and meditate.
• Choosing to notice your thoughts and practicing inner self-discipline regarding your thoughts.
• Choosing gratitude throughout the day.
When taking loving action in your own behalf replaces your inattentive and judgmental behavior toward yourself, you will feel high self-esteem.
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