Gals in their 50's

[Blooming Rose]

Gals in their 50's

Hi ladies!
I'm 52, married with 3 kids, (2 still at home), working part-time in a job i love. Enjoyed alcohol socially and very moderately at home until a few years ago when it just slowly increased - self-medicating unhappiness in marriage and unhappiness with myself really. Being a uni student didn't help, as I was surrounded by fellow-drinkers. Marriage has recently improved heaps (having been threatened with separation, hubby finally realised he needed to make some changes, bless him!) but now I'm stuck with drinking more than I want to. I'd love to go back to one or two glasses a couple of nights a week, but when I have 2 glasses I find it hard to stop ... I've ditched all the easy-access alcohol at home, have had very little the last 2 weeks & mostly not too much for the couple of months before that (except for a couple of unfortunate occasions!).
I posted that last paragraph in the 'starting out' area on the 20th & am still going well - it seems to be getting easier now although a week or so ago I was finding the late afternoon/early evenings very hard. I've also started back again at a gym (hadn't been for months) & am feeling better about myself. I just discovered this thread today & thought I'd join you all. I love getting together with other girls for a chat! Nice to meet you all!

[Guitarista]

Gals in their 50's

Hi Ladies,

I don't suppose anyone's got a copy of Cliff Richard live in Boston, do they?

Best wishes all...

[rubywillow]

Gals in their 50's

Rose, welcome. your story rings so true with so many of us, I'm sure. Glad your marriage is back on track; seems like this is the period in our lives when we experience a re-learning of each other, and we either remember why we're together or move on. Let me know if I can help you, friend. :hug:

[sick of being sick]

Gals in their 50's

Welcome, Blooming Rose! We are so happy you joined us! Yes, your story does sound so familiar. I think the hardest thing for alot of us is to learn how to love ourself. I am still working on that! Most of us have learned that our disease is progressive and we can never go back to just having a drink or two, we can rarely stop. It sounds as if you are making improvements, going to the gym, working on your marriage and trying to give up the alcohol. We are all here for you to help you on your journey to get and stay sober. Best of luck and love to you! Vicki

[Blooming Rose]

Gals in their 50's

Thanks for your lovely responses!
I'm enjoying having more hours in the evening (conscious hours!) to read & do stuff. I've also started an intensive programme they do at the gym - a six-week challenge. Had to answer questions about diet, lifestyle etc, obviously alcohol came up! My lovely trainer there is my age & was totally sympathetic about the alcohol problem, very impressed i was in process of giving up, so I've now got her on my side as well.

I really feel like I'm doing this for ME, & getting support from others outside the family is so important. When I was drinking it was partly as retaliation against my hubby who is inclined to be controlling - I'd think 'stuff you, I'll have a drink if I want to', but it was me I was stuffing up! My daughter started to monitor me as well, & I reacted the same way against her. Hubby wanted to go with me to my doctor a few weeks ago, when I admitted to him I knew I needed help with the alcohol, but I realised that would be a bad idea for me. Having him acting like a policeman in my life is not where I need him to be coz it'll provoke the opposite reaction in me. Complicated things, relationships!

Went for a long walk with my dog this afternoon - lovely, & good to be feeling stronger & fitter!

[sunshinedaisies]

Gals in their 50's

Good morning Blooming rose! Lovely to have you here. Sounds as if you are doing very well - I agree with the others - you have to do this for you. Hubs still drinks and in the beginning if we went out, he would say "why don't you just have one?", but I am not sure I can do that - and don't want to try to be honest. I am AF thanks to this site and I really feel for those starting out - it is hard. It does get easier but is always there lurking in the background. I am pleased for you that your marriage is improving and way to go for the gym 6 week thing - awesome!! Exercise is one of things I REALLY WILL DO - tomorrow!!

What dog do you have? I have a sheltie called Maggie who is not a well puppy these days - nice to be able to go for a long walk with your dog!!

Hugs to you, Sunshinedaisies x

[Blooming Rose]

Gals in their 50's

Hi Sunshine!
Sorry to hear about Maggie. We had a dear old thing (12 yr old big crossbreed called Rusty) who died in September last year. About the time he died our next doggy friend was born. She's half German Shorthaired Pointer, half maybe Labrador Retriever (maybe not?), now 10 months old. Was a rescue dog with her mum & 7 sisters & brothers! She has bucketloads of energy & it's been quite a task to train her to walk without pulling, but I'm getting there! Our neighbours have a sheltie - lovely things!

Hugs to you too, & one for Maggie as well!

[sunshinedaisies]

Gals in their 50's

Hi Blooming! How are you this morning? Been for your walk yet? I am hoping to get out in the garden this morning for a few hours - temp seems nice for a change. Your new dog sounds as if she is a bundle of energy - good for keeping you away from the AL though - they love their walks!! Are you doing well with the AL now? It does have it's moments but gets easier.....

Hugs, Sunshinedaisies

[rubywillow]

Gals in their 50's

Good to see everyone back on board this lovely thread. Have more problems than answers in my life these days, but it's a fact AL doesn't solve them, only creates more. Hubs and I had a nice breakfast out, and nice ride so he talked a lot to me about his work situation, letting me know what's going on with his ever-changing job. Now, we just need to make it to his retirement, and take that load of him. 'Course, it will put another on me, his being around all the time!:H He's a big man, takes up a lot of space.
Keep true to the course ladies. There is a haven here if you need to share.

[Blooming Rose]

Gals in their 50's

Haven't been here for a while, but back again! Have been going fairly well except for the odd glass at work functions, but am pleased I haven't overdone it even once in about 2 months. Cooking dinner time at home is my biggest difficulty - am drinking coffee in place of the wine I used to have. Definitely better than Al but I'm not sure it's a good thing.

Anyway, hi everyone!

L

[Juja]

Gals in their 50's

New and nervous

Hi, everyone,

I'm a newbie who's been watching this site for some time. I hope I'm posting correctly.
Regardless, I, too, need help with my drinking, which has worsened since I retired. I'll have 4-5 glasses of wine a night, get in fight with my husband, feel guilty and shameful in the morning. I worry about good friends saying, "There she goes again," and losing them due to my drinking. There's more, of course. Know the story?
I'm 57, in a marriage that feels like it's over, I can't find a job, and am depressed and anxious more often than I can say.
On the positive side, I've been AF for four days, and want to quit permanently. There are a number of alcoholics in my family, and I don't want to go down the same path. I'd gone 2 1/2 months AF in 2009, but relapsed. Today was harder than the past three, but I'm still AF.
This makes me nervous.
Juja

[Lavande]

Gals in their 50's

Hi Juja,

Welcome to MWO!
Boy I can relate to your story, sounds an awful lot like mine. So many of us 50 somethings have tried to fix our anxiety/depression with wine! It NEVER works!

Congrats on your 4 AF days - you have a great start!
Be sure to look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for good ideas to help you make a plan to sray AF.

I personally really liked the Hypnotherapy CDs from the Heath store here. They helped me learn to relax without AL & change my thinking about AL.

I quit, you can do it too
Wishing you the best on your journey.

Lav