Men No Pause Here!!!

[Pan]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Well I don't get flies here, but back in the Outback they are a real problem. I'd be interested to hear as well. Of course in the olden days it was sticky strips hung from a ceiling. Maybe one of those new Raid things that continually give puffs of spray?

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here!!!

They still make those sticky strips (we use them in barns). There are also these bottle type things you put water in (there's something that attracts them in there, and it does smell - but probably isn't bad as long as you don't spill it) - the flies are trapped inside. these can be bought at a feed or farm store.

I now someone that had the sticky strips in his house (fruit flies in the pantry), so maybe there's a type for inside houses. Just hang them high enough so they don't get caught in your hair - my friend had this happen to him, and I did once in at the barn office in the dark - this junk is super sticky, and also smells up close (to attract flies, so you can imagine). If it gets in your hair, put vegetable oil on it, then shampoo several times to get the oil out.

[ladyjan]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Here in Spain in summer the bars with terraces and restaurants etc,hang up clear plastic bags filled with water, it does appear to work

[rubywillow]

Men No Pause Here!!!

I'm off with 3 of my grands for a Christmas weekend of carriage rides and cookie making. A Mimi's dream! Keep the flashes under control, or a spray bottle close at hand. Ta-Ta for now!! :hug:

[PhoenixRising]

Men No Pause Here!!!

dancelot;773050 wrote: Thanks, Phoenix! Do you know what year was that song from? I remember it but always thought it was the Bee Gees (from their pre disco era, when they were still kind of folkies!).

1969! I was 12.

[PhoenixRising]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Last night was AF day #2. I am officially inspired!!

[rubywillow]

Men No Pause Here!!!

rubywillow;773237 wrote: I'm off with 3 of my grands for a Christmas weekend of carriage rides and cookie making. A Mimi's dream! Keep the flashes under control, or a spray bottle close at hand. Ta-Ta for now!! :hug:

Make that FOUR! One just had a change of heart. LOL

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Good morning all!

On flies - I vaguely remember something about hanging bags or bottles of plain water, that they are attracted to even that - I'm sure the information's out there somewhere.

Phoenix - Great on 2 days! Keep the inspiration going!
I was 14 in 1969, and that was the year I got my first horse. I had hung out at this little barn where my friend kept her mare, for about a year previously. There was always an AM radio playing Top 40 going at any time of day. I'm sure that's where I heard this song. the two I really remember are "Time of the Season" by the Zombies, and "Age of Aquarius" by the Fifth Dimension. I hear either of those, and I'm back in that little barn, in the winter, and it's grey and cold, but I loved it, had to be dragged home. My mom would keep my dinner on a plate in the oven, and it would be a little dry, but I remember that fondly too, after a day of barn time.

Ruby - That sounds like a fun time with the grandkids! Side note - I never wanted kids, but I remember as a kid I thought it would be so cool to be a grandma!

[Chillgirl]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Hi Girls
I just found this site on sunday and cant get enough of it!
I cant believe how many of us are going through such similar experiences.

I am 45 years old, originally from Scotland but now living in Portugal. I separated from my husband 6 years ago and live alone with my darling dog Elle.

I started drinking when I was 15 and have been doing so excessively ever since. What was once fun is now causing me black moods as well as blackouts.

I have known for several years that my drinking was out of control but as you all know we become very good at lying to ourselves as well as to others and I would tell myself "its ok, i mean I can hold down a job, I still look ok and lots of my friends drink as much as me." Last month however I finally admitted to myself I was competely alcohol dependant and it has gone up to two bottles of wine a night and more if Im out socially. I cant live like this anymore!!!

I decided not to quit until Jan 1st not because I dont want to but I would be more likely to fail if I do it during the festive season and when I quit I really want to try and make it for good. I also figured that as many people detox in Jan I could do so without drawing attention to myself and by the time my friends realized I would be strong enough to cope with any pressure to drink.

Im terrified at how much my life is going to change, everything will have to be different. Usually a couple of nights a week I go for drinks after work then on fridays its a regular night out as is sunday lunch. The routine of it all is going to be SO hard to change and I will miss all these things.

However I do know that once I get through the 1st few months and start different routines my life will be so much better and the last few weeks have really given me time to reflex on this and its almost like having time to say goodbye.

I know this forum is also going to be invaluable on the dark days and I hope I can also offer great support to others having similar experiences. Glad to be on board.....

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Hi, Chillgirl, welcome!

It certainly amazed me how many women in this age group there were here. I thought I was the only one with a problem. I came here in August and have been here ever since. A plan is a big part of success (something I don't think I was clear on before finding MWO).

Keep reading, have that in place for your start date. Make a plan as well as to how you will handle the social situations you describe.

Taking time to "say goodbye" sounds like a good idea. Many of us found ourselves actually grieving once we went AF. In some ways what you're saying is like what happens when we have a loved one who we know will not be around for long, and the grieving process actually does start while they are still with us.

Helping others here, even small words of encouragement, will help you as well. I believe we all have words of wisdom - sharing even small successes, or little tricks we stumble on that work for us - often they are helpful to others. Plus this is such a great place to stay busy and reinforce our own efforts, especially in our first days.

Best wishes on your journey - you will never regret it! Much love! :h

[foxtrott]

Men No Pause Here!!!

I have come and gone on MWO a couple times, but I want to staynow and fight this deamon. This thread makes me feel "not alone". I am 59, have a good job, 4 kids, 6 grandkids and feel I am a young 59, although would love to loose 30 lbs. However, somehow, someway I know I am addicted to alcohol.....it is very ironic because my ex husband drank himself to death by age 49 and I have 3 sons with him-2 of which are alcoholic. My husband now drinks too much, not sure an alcoholic, but a problem drinker. I have gone to counseling over the years, even started an Alanon group in our small town and have read and researched everything on alcohol.

But over the last couple years I drink more and more wine...now consume 1 - 1 1/2 bottles a night...I don't feel sick in the morning but have a lot of guilt...don't remember conversations I've had on the phone - when someone says they told me something I just poo poo it off as old age memory. I have a beautiful 28 yr old daughter who has 3 great kids and we are very close. I am so afraid she will discover my secret, if she doesn't already suspect. I don't want to be where I am.

My faith is very important to me and I pray and pray for help. I know there is a plan and purpose for each of us. I keep thinking by going through this I have a first hand experience on the difficulty of quitting and maybe I am meant to deal with this and help others...

I fear for my health if I continue drinking. I come to work everyday swearing I will not stop and buy another bottle of wine. I tell myself it is the devil, it will kill me, I hate the taste of it (which I don't), I think of my grandkids...but some force overtakes me and I have that bottle bought before I know it and am drinking 5 minutes after getting home.

I know I need to develope a plan and come here several times a day. Please prayers and advice is appreciated.

[Chillgirl]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Thank you Dancealot for your encouragement! I hope "the plan" works, I will keep you posted.

Foxtrott I totally relate to what your saying, I have had so many phone conversations that I dont remember and look in horror the next day at the call log. I also dont get sick in the morning, i just feel crap and the black moods are really bad, if I can drag myself to the gym and sweat some of it out I usually feel better.

I always swear in the morning that I wont drink that night but when 6pm comes around I tell myself it will be nice to chill in front of the tv with a few glasses and afterall I didnt feel "that bad" today!

Re your faith, im not religious but have strong spiritual beliefs. I follow many of the teaching of Wayne Dyer and his latest book "Excuses Begone" has some great help for changing our inner talk and stopping our excuses. He talks about addiction and one story which stood out for me was about Ronald Reagan's daughter who had a coccaine addiction whilst he was in office. She said she kept going back to it even although she was letting herself down, her parents down and the public down. Finally she made a deal with her higher power and NEVER slipped up again because she said that this time she couldnt let God down. Im going to keep this in my mind.....

[foxtrott]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Thank you chillgirl - I have ready many of Wayne Dyer's books and will definately look this one up....today is going to be day 1....I just worry about the upcoming holidays.....I will be here every day...and that is inspirational about Ronald Regan's daughter...now that you mention it I do remember about her cocaine addiction. Thanks.

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Hi, Foxtrott, welcome!

You are not alone - there are so many of us in this age group, which surprised me at first. So many of us are closet drinkers - we appear to be able to have just 2 glasses of wine when out socially, but then have a whole bottle more when we get home. As we get into our 50s, we start feeling the adverse health effects. It also seems common that we up our intake quite a bit.

Have you made a plan? This is important. I found the retraining the brain, the substitution of behaviors, was a bigger part of continuing being sober once I stopped. So much of it is habit - even to the point of having a glass of something liquid, and consuming it. Always having an alternative for your current behavior. Can you drive a different route that doesn't pass the liquor store? Shop at a grocery that doesn't sell wine? We really do go on automatic pilot sometimes. One member described it as like being hypnotized.

Have you looked into supplements, or anti addiction meds from your doctor? Are you aware of your triggers, that is, situations, times of day, or feelings that make you inclined to drink? Try to come up with alternatives of what you can do differently.

I stayed here a lot at first. I also stayed busy with anything that wasn't AL. The key is to ride out the urges, a day, or an hour, or even a minute at a time. Know also it can be done. I'm over 4 months AF now, and have never in my life been so confident that I can continue. There are many people here with longer track records AF, and they inspire me every day. I drank for 36 years, by the way. I am 54, and could no longer ignore what it was doing to me physically. I always try to remember that. That was a huge motivator for me.

What worked for was quitting in the evening. Just not going back to it. I am a major procrastinator, and can put off doing something I don't want to indefinitely (even forever!). I many, many times did the morning, "I'll quit today", and it never once worked. I say this because I see it here every day. For some people it works, others it seems to happen over and over. "Do it right now" worked for me. That was the same day I found MWO. I stayed on chat for at least 6 hours that night, until I was too tired and had to go to bed. I didn't count Day 1 until it was over. It also helped I was so trashed and hungover from going way past my normal excess the night before, and there was no wine left. I stayed here until selling time was over. Listening to a couple of long term ABBers made me see the light. They had been me, and had overcome. Having a plan was something they emphasised.

I will keep you in my prayers. Believe that you can do this - I know you can! Much love! :h

[Miss Behaving]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Thanks for all the fly suggestions!! I like the idea of the water bags .... ironically enough it is much cooler today and no flies, so will have to wait for a day or two to try it out!!

Ruby - that sounds like such a lovely plan for the day - hope you really enjoy it!

Wow what a lot of great posts!! Welcome to Foxtrot and Chill girl.

Dancelot - i love your posts. I want to be like you when I grow up!!

I have to say that I'm feeling a little bit defeated by December ..... basically too many things gong on around me, being out of my normal home environment (which means my routines are disrupted and I'm in situations where alcohol is around me a lot, and while MWO is great place to be, I also miss my real-life supports). I'm not drinking a lot and (I dont when I am around people), but I have no illusions about my ability to control my alcohol intake and need to be AF for the rest of my life.

Anyway, Chill girl I'll be with you on January 1 (and actually I'm aiming to just get over Xmas) .......... and lots of other people will be as well I'm sure!!!