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    #31
    Men No Pause Here!!!

    Toast, we all seem to have different 'triggers', but actually you know, in my own hindsight, they were my vindication for drinking. I had a lot of really good 'reasons', I won't go into them now, but Al only increased them 10-fold. I was, at the end, a round-the-clock drinker, so there was actually nothing that was 'causing' it, just the need to drink. Every day, I discover something new about myself, and realize something about my past behaviour that makes me cringe. We each are so different, but the same.
    Rubes
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      #32
      Men No Pause Here!!!

      Hi ladies,
      hope all well with you all,
      Phoenix, yes I am taking the Baclofen, have done since I first started going AF, it truly does help am up to 80mgs daily plus all the other supps L-Glut Milk Thistle etc, etc and feeling good, howz you with your journey got there yet or still on the bouncy ride ??

      Tulipe yep it was a hard time but am still standing.. and getting stronger & straight headed every day..keep at it girl its worth it in the end, and my words this morning for you is how I coped and it works,well it does for me !!

      Burnt toast, you will get lots of help here, the first most important thing is that you have recognised it youself that there's a problem and you wanna do something about it, just take it step by step and stick around here and talk,talk,talk...

      Rubes you are nuts... I luv ya kiddo !:h:h

      LJ :l

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        #33
        Men No Pause Here!!!

        MENOPAUSE TAMPONS MENOPAUSE!

        Ok. Now I'm sure the guys are scared away for a little while! :nutso:

        Wish I had more time here at MWO today but it's one of those zoom zoom days as our male friend Determinator would say - although I'm sure he's not looking!

        Good to see *screen names* that are familiar to me and also new ones! I look forward to getting to know all you Gals better.

        Ruby, it sounds like you and I ended up in roughly the same place. I too ended up an all day any time any reason drinker. Long before I even realized it, the only reason I drank was because I was addicted to alcohol and wanted/needed a fix. Any *story* I told about my reason for drinking (stress, bad day, good day, sun shining, cloudy, bad husband, good husband, etc) was just that - a story. Took me awhile to get totally honest about that though.

        Rigourous honesty has been difficult at times, but overall a blessing on my journey so far.

        Rock on ladies! See you all tomorrow.

        Oh - married, no kids, FIVE dogs (that's too many dogs!). Mr. Doggy and I have our own computer support business - he does all the computer work thank goodness, as I am woefully unqualified for that actual work! I do quite a bit of sales and networking stuff to build the customer base. I also do the book keeping and phone answering and that sort of stuff. It's way more straight forward than the BS of High Powered Corporate Life ever was for me!

        OK - it's off to take a sauna for this over 50 gal. There will be no booze whatsoever in my life today.

        DG
        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


        One day at a time.

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          #34
          Men No Pause Here!!!

          yep DG & Rubes I hear ya...!

          I was the same, don't really know excatly when it happened but I was round the clock drinking, couldn't go even an hour without one, hated if I had to go to a meeting or do anything where I was seperated from AL.
          I would find any excuse to slip away, get to the nearest bar and quickly down as much as I could and rush back to whatever it was, eating mints or drinking thick expresso coffee to "hide" the smell..(who was I kidding)!
          there would be stashes hidden everywhereso, I was never away from a supply. Vodka hidden in 500ml water bottles in the car, so when it was hot, it looked like I was drinking water..!
          after I had suffered seizures and couldn't drive, I had to get the bus, before I left my house I would top up with any AL, and take two or three cans of beer with me one walking to the bus stop, one while waiting for the bus & one on the bus & have it planned where the nearest bar was as I got off.!
          when shopping would buy litre bottle of vodka and a 1 & 1/2 litre of lemonade, pour a litre out of the lemonade bottle and fill it up with the vodka and drink my "lemonade".
          Plus living here is deadly for an alkie, it is so cheap a litre bottle of vodka is about 6 euros beer in a bar for a pint (500ml) is 1euro

          I would be sick every morning until I could drink enough AL that would stay down so as to top up the AL levels for me to be able to function normal.. Food.. yuk.. thay was a dirty word, would do anything not to eat, make the dinner for the children, when they said "mum aren't you gonna sit down and eat with us ?" I would answer that I had already eaten or would have it later.... never did..!

          Menopause had a year and half of strange periods, dark red chunks of blood like lumps of liver, felt like a miscariage but I wasn't having sex, my ex-abusive pig of a husband would rather hit me than love me, my mother died at the same time, he wouldn't allow me to talk about her, because she kept warning me about him. so I wasn't allowed to mourn the loss of my mum..I stood up to him over it and I ended up in hospital, while I was in hospital he got on a plane and vanished.. I have three children !!! 17yrs, 15yrs & 3yrs old..so 2006 was a very bad year and I jumped even further into the bottle..!!!

          ok thats enough from me, seems strange to see written down what I have had bottled inside for so long..

          LJ.:l

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            #35
            Men No Pause Here!!!

            Ladyjan,

            better out than in.

            I really like waking up and not feeling sick as dog. And on the days when I do wake up feeling sick as a dog I know its because I'm sick!

            hope every one has a really good day

            mame
            Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn

            Harriet Beecher Stowe

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              #36
              Men No Pause Here!!!

              ladyjan, it's good to let it out, and so sorry for all the pain you've gone through. Sounds like you are gaining control
              of it :l..good for you! Your story of making dinner for the kids sounds much like mine..

              Well, I haven't introduced myself yet here, so I'll do a quickie.

              2 boys, 14 and 16, had been married 17 years left in 2000, and that's when I started drinking really. Very badly the last
              5ish years..especially since April of this year. My therapist I was seeing said I was self
              medicating with AL. For some reason that made me feel better so I tried to work on the reasons why I drank.
              Not much success there. Still have to delve into that, but not ready now.

              In April, I could no longer hide behind that excuse, and face my alcoholism full on. Took me til October 3rd
              to do it. Yahoo I can look in the mirror now and not feel completely disgusted with the woman looking back at me.
              Sometimes I even dress her up and take her out!

              I love my life now...well, love the healthy new me emerging. Could use a job, a bigger bank account though.
              That will come soon enough..for some reason I'm not worried.
              Thanks for listening.
              DLA
              Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness
              Sir Walter Scott
              --------------------------------------------------------------------------

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                #37
                Men No Pause Here!!!

                It's very cathartic to be able to talk about ourselves openly, to say the things we've hidden in our hearts for so long out of shame and fear. The hiding, lying, paranoia is a common denominator for women, especially OUR age women, who drink. When you're in your 20's and 30's, it's 'partying', or 'hanging out', but for us it turns into something much uglier. Society treats the alcoholic woman with much more disdain than the alcoholic man, the old double standard, when many times the pressures on the woman are heavier than the men in her life. The need to succeed as a wife, mother, homemaker, income-earner, and meet the 'standards' society sets for us as far as appearance, abilities, etc. sometimes can be crushing. Compound that with physical (our bodies are betraying us, and we don't know the woman in the mirror anymore)and emotional strain, and we have the typical middle-aged woman. Sound like anyone you know? The abuse of alcohol and prescription drugs in our sector is pervasive, and vastly under-treated. That's what is great about this site, and this thread. Here is a place to 'let it all hang out' (am I dating myself? LOL) and talk about whatever is bothering you. If you're out there lurking, reading, come on out and talk to us. You're safe here. This is our haven. :hug: "One loses many laughs by not laughing at oneself."
                sigpic
                Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                  #38
                  Men No Pause Here!!!

                  Hey LadyJan - the men in our lives sure can do a number on us, eh? I married my high school sweetheart (we started dating when we were 15), married at 22 and was divorced at 37. It took all my courage to leave him, he had turned into a monster thanks to drugs and alcohol. When, in a fight he grabbed my head and said he could crush it with his hands, I knew it was time to get out or suffer the consequences. Kudos to you for breaking free.

                  Yesterday was my first AF day in 10 days and I am feeling very hopeful and happy. I think the Baclofen will be my saving grace, as I have no willpower, it's pathetic.

                  Hugs to all of you

                  -P.

                  PS I am at 120mg of Baclofen and I think I am near the dose at which my cravings will be gone. They have subsided already a great deal.
                  Go before that fire there, at the altar of your heart
                  That fire of who you really are and be consumed by it fully
                  Surrender everything into the fire of that love until you are one with that love. You ARE that love.
                  Tilak Pyle Altar of the Heart

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                    #39
                    Men No Pause Here!!!

                    hi everyone, I just cannot get myself to take the Bac, I have it in my handbag but I am really scared of it, crazy, seeing the amount of alcohol and script painkiller's I throw down my throat, do they really help, and what sideaffect's do they give you?
                    Twitch

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                      #40
                      Men No Pause Here!!!

                      also do any of you have hot flushes> last night I was so cold in bed but at the same time I was sweating like a pig, it's horrible.
                      Twitch

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                        #41
                        Men No Pause Here!!!

                        tawnywitch;767814 wrote: hi everyone, I just cannot get myself to take the Bac, I have it in my handbag but I am really scared of it, crazy, seeing the amount of alcohol and script painkiller's I throw down my throat, do they really help, and what sideaffect's do they give you?
                        OMG Tawny - DO it!! It's made such a huge difference for me. Huge. The drug has been around a long time and people take it in huge doses without any side effects.
                        The key is to increase your dosage slowly. I started at 10mg, then 15, and went up only by 5mg till I got up to 50 or so and then I upped it by 10mg. Now this last time, I spent only 1 day at 110mg and upped it to 120mg. That was dumb, I should have gone 3 days at 110 before increasing. Even so, the worst side effect was I felt a little woozy, very tired and my breathing felt shallow. I've had worse side effects from Sudafed.
                        Read the baclofen threads - that's what convinced me.

                        Oh, btw - I was drinking with the Baclofen till I got to 120.
                        Go before that fire there, at the altar of your heart
                        That fire of who you really are and be consumed by it fully
                        Surrender everything into the fire of that love until you are one with that love. You ARE that love.
                        Tilak Pyle Altar of the Heart

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Men No Pause Here!!!

                          tawnywitch;767815 wrote: also do any of you have hot flushes> last night I was so cold in bed but at the same time I was sweating like a pig, it's horrible.
                          Tawny, my flashes have gotten much better, but for a while I'd say, "If you're cold stand next to me, they're will be another heat wave any minute."

                          There have been some reports of side effects with Bac, but nothing to compare to those with AL. One important fact: I read a study that shows you should NOT take acetamenophine (Tylenol) AT ALL with Baclofen. This could cause potential liver damage.

                          Jump on in, Tawny. The water's fine. We'll keep you afloat.
                          sigpic
                          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Men No Pause Here!!!

                            DG - you made me laugh!
                            LJ you have really turned a corner. What a difference your AF time seems to be making. Keep up the good work.
                            To all you baclers, I'm not taking it - I'm going Campral and it works fairly well, actually. I still want to drink though. Well actually I did drink this weekend, so maybe its not working. But then I stopped taking it over the weekend because we went to Paris and Mr. T. likes to drink wine. Actually I moderated fine over the weekend but got into BIG trouble Sunday night when we got home. What an idiot I was. Stupid decision.
                            Yep I feel like a cow. Weird periods, gray hairs, saggy belly. Stopped wanting to feel hungry to stay thin. Feeling like I'll be abandoned for a younger woman. No desire for more children, but have fear of getting beyond child bearing age.
                            Ruby I think you were writing about this too - and a guy here wrote it too - there is nothing sexy about alcohol abuse. It's not cute anymore. Or funny.
                            Ug - my daughter doesn't know what her homework is and now she's crying. Can you say, TRIGGAH!
                            Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.
                            AF since May 6, 2010

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                              #44
                              Men No Pause Here!!!

                              I am using the Topamax, have been following the dose escalation schedule that they used for the study that was in the book, but Mr Rejuve & I have both decided we'll probably stay at 100 mg, because it seems to be working pretty well & don't see any reason to keep on increasing the dosage at this point. The brain fog was getting pretty noticable after 50 mg & we did add the adrafinil, which helped. I found I was able to cut back on that though & don't take that every day. It seems like I am adjusting to the side effects of the Topamax too. They aren't quite so bad this week...at least they weren't until yesterday when I took the 100mg in one dose...I WON'T do that again. As a matter of fact I have decided to split it into 25mg , 50 mg & 25 mg doses....lunch ...mid afternon & dinner...so the foggy brain doesn't interfere during working hours so much....It's not really horrible...it's just sometimes word finding slows down & my spelling gets sucky...thank God for spell checker! :H WE are both shooting for moderation , not abstinence & you can use Topamax while drinking...hence our choice. Loving the Topa....in addition to being able mod...the pounds are coming off as well I lost 7# in 3 1/2 weeks! Of course I need to lose about 60...so It doesn't hurt!

                              We have both been problem drinkers for years. He's been drinking a fifth of Scotch & I've been drink a bottle of wine daily for years. We both went AF for the first half of the month & have successfully been able to mod the 2nd half of November relavtively painlessly with the help of the supps, hypnotapes, Topa & for me the support on the forums here.

                              I am 55, menopausal, step-mom to two fab kids, 18 yo HS senior girl & 22 male, soon to graduate from college, 3 cats, 3 turtles...many fish indoor & outdoor (Koi pond), hobbies include herbal wildcrafting, gardening, reading, genealogy & cooking.

                              Glad to be here with all you fab 50's and soon to be ( and adopted )!

                              Rejuve

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                                #45
                                Men No Pause Here!!!

                                rubywillow;767824 wrote:

                                One important fact: I read a study that shows you should NOT take acetamenophine (Tylenol) AT ALL with Baclofen. This could cause potential liver damage.
                                Tylenol should also NEVER be taken with alcohol - this combination can be fatal. Acetamenophine is also often found in over the counter cold medications. Someone I knew worked with a woman in her 30s who died from this.
                                ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

                                AUGUST 9, 2009

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