Men No Pause Here!!!

[PhoenixRising]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Third day in a row drinking. I am so disappointed with myself.

[rubywillow]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Phoenix, only you have the power over this. We are here to support you, but the first step is yours. Let's make a plan for tomorrow. How can I help you with it?
Rube :hug:

[ladyjan]

Men No Pause Here!!!

PhoenixRising;772417 wrote: Third day in a row drinking. I am so disappointed with myself.

Hey Phoenix,
as Rubes says we are here..

three days in a row on it, is not good, but it is good that you know that it's not good..!

we all fall, I know I have,it's a roller coaster ride up & down none of are saints and I do not believe anyone that can say they stopped one day and never lifted a glass again..*bullshit..!!*
but each day that we have a slip makes us realise why we want to stop.. it doesn't feel good, the effect and after feelings it leaves us with..are shit!!

The days straight & clean are so different to the drinking days, life is very different when sober..!
don't beat yourself up.. be kind to yourself and try again..
thinking of you..:l:l:l:l:h:h

*meaning as from the very first day of starting to give up*

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here!!!

ladyjan;772681 wrote: I do not believe anyone that can say they stopped one day and never lifted a glass again..bullshit..!!

This means....????? This quote looks like my definition of "bullshit". Perhaps you need to look at your own belief system. If this is true, then there's absolutely no point in any of us being here.

[Doggygirl]

Men No Pause Here!!!

I'm confused too. I have not lifted a glass since May 21, 2008. I've wanted to plenty of times, but I haven't. For me, that's what I have to do and my life depends on it.

Can I guarantee I will never pick up a drink again as long as I live? Nope. Nobody can. However, there ARE plenty of alkies who have put it down, and who HAVE gone to their graves without ever picking up a drink again.

At my AA club we just said our goodbyes to a man who struggled mightily to get sober, but when he finally did, he did NOT pick up another drink, ever, for nearly 15 years. And he helped many a struggling alkie like me during that sober time of his.

This isn't easy. Many of us fall down time after time after time. But to say that nobody ever stops and doesn't drink again sort of takes all the hope out of it for me.

With respect..

DG

[ladyjan]

Men No Pause Here!!!

ok point taken sorry if it came accross wrong,

What I meant was, that she shouldn't feel ashamed that she didn't stop in one day and never drank again while she was on her journey to sobriety and that all is not lost.

If you ladies have managed to in just one day to stop and never ever have a hiccup before going 100% AF, fantastic and well done.

I am now AF, but on my journey to achieve this, I did have hiccups, nothing major but I did and felt the same as phoenix, I felt ashamed and angry with myself, but as many of the members here on this site, told me not to give up and it is quite normal for it to happen and to look for why it happened, look for what triggered it, to be aware next time a simular situation arises and deal with it without a drink

It gave me encouragement that I wasn't a failure and all was not lost, just to learn from it, pick myself up and to start again with a stronger will to do it .

[ladyjan]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Doggygirl;772701 wrote:

This isn't easy. Many of us fall down time after time after time. But to say that nobody ever stops and doesn't drink again sort of takes all the hope out of it for me.

this is excatly what I meant, many of us fall down, but it doesn't mean that all is lost,

sorry for any misunderstaning, maybe bullshit was not the right word to use..!!!

[rubywillow]

Men No Pause Here!!!

I believe everyone is right in this discussion. Some people are lucky enough to have a day they remember as THE day they put it down and were done with it. Others have struggled, and fought their way, one day at a time. I believe, IMHO, LJ may have been speaking about the few people who claim sobriety when in truth they are far from it. It happens. It's human nature. I'm so glad to see everyone expressing themselves openly, just the way they feel, and discussing things if their opinon differs. Way to go, Power Girls!!!

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here!!!

LJ - Thanks for clarifying. In my case it is all or nothing. If I start, I'm gone. That's my history. Not for a day or a week, but years. It's such a slippery slope. When I was drinking I truly loved it more than I respected anyone's opinion, or appreciated their support, or love. I also never felt guilt (unless I did or said something to hurt someone. In recent years I mostly drank alone, so this didn't come up.). But I never felt guilty for drinking. Maybe disgusted sometimes, but not guilty. Being who I am, I doubt that much has changed. Maybe I just need my ass kicked, hard. Not beaten up, just what my dad used to call a "good swift kick" in the pants (a term he used, not something he ever actually did). So I have no choice but never again. So I hold on tooth and nail to my sobriety. If I took one drink, I wouldn't ask for help. I have to see it as black or white. That is the only way it makes sense to me.

I also mean no disrespect to anyone else, and commend anyone who has the courage to get back up and try again, and I hope at some point it sticks. I hope it is a learning curve, and that lessons are learned, and put to good use. I also think if someone sees themselves in me, maybe that will be a useful strategy. I myself would use whatever it takes. I hope I'd change my methods if I found what I was doing wasn't working for me. I do realize other strategies are valid. I do have to keep the belief that it is do able, even though it is one day at a time, because that's all I can control.

[PhoenixRising]

Men No Pause Here!!!

I made it through yesterday!

rubywillow;772485 wrote: Phoenix, only you have the power over this. We are here to support you, but the first step is yours. Let's make a plan for tomorrow. How can I help you with it?
Rube :hug:

Rube, thank you for this. I thought about it all last night and it gave me the strength to resist. Day 1, again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


Dancelot, very well put. My hat's off to you.


LadyJan, I was thinking about what you said when I was doing my yoga practice this morning and kept wavering, sometimes falling, in a challenging balance pose. It struck me that that is what my sobriety journey is like. As in yoga, not many people try a difficul balance the first time and "get it". The key thing is that I *do* keep trying, and soon the wobbling and falling will become farther apart and then be gone entirely as I become more strong and confident. I am getting there. I feel you are, too. Thanks for the hugs, I need it. Your support means more than words can say, all of you.

[rubywillow]

Men No Pause Here!!!

OK, girls, we rise up to meet and embrace this day. Let's make it ours!!!!!!! Ruby factoid for the day: When I was ten, our house burned to the ground. Because of some confusion, we thought my Daddy had died in it. Imagine our elation to find him, confused and shaken, but unharmed. It took us 5 years of horrible rental houses, most without utilities, until Daddy found his calling as a house mover, and bought a little piece of land, moved a house there and he and momma restored it. I was living there when I married.

[Doggygirl]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Ruby, I love your factoids!

I also want to clarify my post yesterday on the subject of quitting drinking.

First off, Phoenix, do not feel ashamed. If quitting drinking were easy, none of us would be here. We can't do a single thing to change yesterday. All we can do is work on today, and make "now" the very best that it can be. At least that is the approach that is working for me, just for today.

I think it's a fine and sometimes difficult line we walk when supporting each other between saying that drinking is "OK" or not. Once the drink is taken, there is no putting it back in the bottle that's for sure. And wherever that drink leads, for better or worse there you are. For me, one drink leads to a very bad place. I quit drinking the first (and only other) time on July 11, 2007. At 60 days, I decided to have "just one." That relapse was ugly, and lasted 8 months. So for me, "a slip" is not a minor thing. Given the typical progression of this disease/affliction/obsession/whatever-you-like-to-call-it, chances are that another "slip" would be even more disasterous.

So I can't and don't take it lightly. Have I drank since I first attempted to quit? Yes. For 8 solid months. Have I had a drink in the last 1.5 years? No. And I won't have one today. it is such a horribly bad idea for me to even THINK about having a drink that I can't even go there.

And that's no bullshit.

DG

[PhoenixRising]

Men No Pause Here!!!

Reflections of my Life

Hey ladies - this will take you back a few years...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NiN7ISW7E[/video]]YouTube - The Marmalade - Reflections Of My Life

[dancelot]

Men No Pause Here!!!

PhoenixRising;773036 wrote: Hey ladies - this will take you back a few years...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NiN7ISW7E[/video]]YouTube - The Marmalade - Reflections Of My Life

Thanks, Phoenix! Do you know what year was that song from? I remember it but always thought it was the Bee Gees (from their pre disco era, when they were still kind of folkies!).

[Miss Behaving]

Men No Pause Here!!!

I want to change the suject completely!!!!

Does anyone know a remedy for getting rid of flies without using sprays???

I am currently staying with my niece and her husband, who are the main caregivers for my brother (who has terminal cancer). They are very green types who dont use any unnecessary chemicals, but the weather here is hot and humid and the flies in the kitchen are driving me crazy. I have done a total clean of their house since I've been here and there is not a speck of dust dirt anywhere. But the flies keep hangin around in droves!!!

And I'm sure amongst all the wise women on this thread that someone will know how to handle it!!!