time to re-evaluate

[shirazgirl]

Hi everyone,
Well, as most of you know, I came here with the hopes of moderating. I am coming up on my sixty day mark and knew it was time to make some decisions. I have read posts for both abstinence and moderation.

When I first started out, my thoughts on moderating was to not be a falling down drunk. After much reading, I realized I was wrong. Moderation means having a drink now and again. Not 4 and then struggle to stop but secretly wanting more. It means having one and being SATISFIED with that. At this point, I don't think that I have that mindset. I have been okay with the exception of going out to dinner and not having a glass of wine. Truth being, one would not be enough. It would set the wheels into high gear. The hope of moderation sounds great, but right now, I'm better off.

So with that said, I'm making another commitment to not drink for another 30 days. Yes, that will have taken me through the Yankee playoff games, the winning world series game at the stadium, my husband and mother in laws birthday, the night before Thanksgiving (biggest party night of the year over here), Thanksgiving and the subsequent weekend, all completely sober.

I can't say forever yet, but I can take this in these small doses and see what happens after that. Hopefully, one day, I will get to forever, but between now and then, this will have to do. Thanks for your ongoing support! SG

[Reenie]

time to re-evaluate

Way to go Shiraz!

[1967]

time to re-evaluate

shirazgirl;766906 wrote: Hi everyone,
Well, as most of you know, I came here with the hopes of moderating. I am coming up on my sixty day mark and knew it was time to make some decisions. I have read posts for both abstinence and moderation.

When I first started out, my thoughts on moderating was to not be a falling down drunk. After much reading, I realized I was wrong. Moderation means having a drink now and again. Not 4 and then struggle to stop but secretly wanting more. It means having one and being SATISFIED with that. At this point, I don't think that I have that mindset. I have been okay with the exception of going out to dinner and not having a glass of wine. Truth being, one would not be enough. It would set the wheels into high gear. The hope of moderation sounds great, but right now, I'm better off.

So with that said, I'm making another commitment to not drink for another 30 days. Yes, that will have taken me through the Yankee playoff games, the winning world series game at the stadium, my husband and mother in laws birthday, the night before Thanksgiving (biggest party night of the year over here), Thanksgiving and the subsequent weekend, all completely sober.

I can't say forever yet, but I can take this in these small doses and see what happens after that. Hopefully, one day, I will get to forever, but between now and then, this will have to do. Thanks for your ongoing support! SG

Smart move.
I am going through the attempts to moderate and it hardly seems worth the effort.
You are making intelligent rational decisions!!

[Davie Souter]

time to re-evaluate

shirazgirl;766906 wrote: Hi everyone,
Well, as most of you know, I came here with the hopes of moderating. I am coming up on my sixty day mark and knew it was time to make some decisions. I have read posts for both abstinence and moderation.

When I first started out, my thoughts on moderating was to not be a falling down drunk. After much reading, I realized I was wrong. Moderation means having a drink now and again. Not 4 and then struggle to stop but secretly wanting more. It means having one and being SATISFIED with that. At this point, I don't think that I have that mindset. I have been okay with the exception of going out to dinner and not having a glass of wine. Truth being, one would not be enough. It would set the wheels into high gear. The hope of moderation sounds great, but right now, I'm better off.

So with that said, I'm making another commitment to not drink for another 30 days. Yes, that will have taken me through the Yankee playoff games, the winning world series game at the stadium, my husband and mother in laws birthday, the night before Thanksgiving (biggest party night of the year over here), Thanksgiving and the subsequent weekend, all completely sober.

I can't say forever yet, but I can take this in these small doses and see what happens after that. Hopefully, one day, I will get to forever, but between now and then, this will have to do. Thanks for your ongoing support! SG

Hi SG,
Extremely well done so far. Just keep those 30 day goals and they will tot up tp forever. In terms of thinking about moderation - take where you are now and think "if it ain't broke don't fix it".
Best of Irish luck.

DS

[drylifeahead]

time to re-evaluate

Good for you shirazgirl.

I've been following your posts, we stopped about the same time, and I wondered what this one might be. Time to re-evalute....just wasn't sure.

I'm so glad you are so in touch with yourself that you came to this conclusion. My bet is you'll hear the same from many to come....

I'll support ya girl!!! :l

DLA:h

[startingover]

time to re-evaluate

SG, you have a fantastic open minded attitude.
I think going for another 30 days is a great idea especially during the "silly season"

[Tulipe]

time to re-evaluate

Hi SG,
I admire your honesty.
"Moderation means having a drink now and again. Not 4 and then struggle to stop but secretly wanting more."
That's something to think about.

[Doggygirl]

time to re-evaluate

You go girl. It takes a lot of guts to be rigorously honest with ourselves about what "a" drink means to us and what "a" drink is likely to ignite.

Congratulations. If I don't drink today, I have a shot at tomorrow.

DG

[JackieClaire]

time to re-evaluate

Hi Shiraz,

So glad that you've decided on another 30 days.

It finally sank in today that I can never ever drink again. Taken a while, but I got there eventually.

Am I bothered. NO.

Am I pleased. YES

BTW love reading your posts

J x

:l

[Emmy]

time to re-evaluate

Shirazgirl ~ Congrats on your AF days ! You made the right decision .. If you know that one glass of wine will turn into 4 then you should definately go for another 30 AF days ~ I agree with your definition of Moderation , one glass of wine every now and then, ~ You already climbed the mountain :ie: Yankee play-offs, thanksgiving etc.. Christmas and NewYears will be a piece of cake :l:l Em

[aust_boy]

time to re-evaluate

Honestly I do not know why moderation is even considered an option. People on this site obviously have problems with alcohol for one reason or another, I know I do. They wouldn't be here otherwise. You are one of them. This comes from all of us drinking too much, for whatever reasons. I have heard the stop go button missing, just different brain chemistry, whatever. I have been to rehab and I think i have about 104 days AF. You stop counting. Fact of the matter is you are here because you were drinking too much and that was having a negative affect on your life! Most likely also, the lives of those around you.

In my case - I only enjoyed it when I drank too much. What the hell is the point of getting a drink for people like us. Because it is easier to fit into society maybe? I say fuck it. Get a ginger ale or a coke or something. Why would you want to temp fate again. If history has taught us anything it is that history repeats itself and people with addictions cannot handle certain situations or substances. Therefore they should avoid these certain situations or substances. - Not - try to handle them.

Do you think a diabetic handles their respective conditions all of the time? Or some of the time. It's all or nothing in my opinion and as soon as you are able to reach that mindset you will be doing yourself a massive favour. Like... when its not even an option to drink and you don't care and you just don't want it. That is where you have to get yourself to if you want to quit. Not for anyone else either, even though I'm sure they would probably appreciate it. For yourself.

So why tempt yourself. You are not going to enjoy one drink and it will bring alcohol back into your life. Don't do it!!

[rubywillow]

time to re-evaluate

Shir, in my case, it just got to be too much trouble to juggle it all, worrying about too much, hating wanting another, thinking too much about AL all together. Just being AF has freed up a lot of space in my brain (and life) for more important things. You are a very wise one.

[caysea]

time to re-evaluate

Hi All
Shri its great to see the success you are having. Going to the stadium and not drinking as the Yankees win. Yes you did it your way.
Aus boy brings up a point that i agree with. It happened when I was totally honest with myself and realized I was an alcoholic. I didn't come here like many looking to moderate. I needed information on how to never drink again. If it wasn't for the support and information I received on the day I found this site I know I would have been going to AA. Which I would have had no problem with. I needed help. I couldn't break away from al by myself. I didn't have the tools. Aus says we are alcoholics and I agree. I think many here are fooling themselves thinking they will control al. Stop and look at how long al has been in your life. Look at the history you have with al. I have a year and a half sober and feel I am in the beginning of a sober life. My history is over 40 years of al in my life. 18 months is not a lot of time compared to my drinking lifestyle.
Saying hi i am caysea and I am an alcoholic is something I have no problem with. It frees me up from so many thoughts that I see people wrestle with here.
Should I test the waters -- should I have one -- I am in control now.
I will never be in control of al. It is simple now just don't drink. Doesn't mean it is always easy but the out come will not be a surprise if I do. I thought I was being honest with myself when I realized I was having problems with my drinking. That was probably 10 years ago. I never consider myself an alcoholic. I had never had a run in with the law or problems with my job but now I see that I was an alcoholic my whole adult life.
Keep looking in the mirror and asking yourself if you are really being honest.Do I control al or does it control me. If like me you are an alcoholic life becomes simple. No choice.
Don't Drink.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[Baja Chic]

time to re-evaluate

Hi Shiraz: I'm a lurker here and enjoy your posts. I go 8-10 days and then drink one or two, then go back to AF days. I'd love to make it 30 days, so Dec. I'll try again. I ordered Nal and if I have to drink, I'll only do it with Nal, and hopefully someday, I'll be free of this beast. I like myself on non drinking days.

[shirazgirl]

time to re-evaluate

Thanks eveone,
I appreciate all of your support.. Now, some of you need to remember, that although I may never choose to try to moderate, that this program offers help in moderating for those who choose it. There are people here who are moderating and everyone's set of cirmustances differ.
I have never tried to quit drinking before, never tried any other program or method besides the informaiton I've gotten here, have alluded any legal or family problems due to drinking. This was solely my decision. In fact, my family has NO IDEA that I was drinking at home. I never let anyone see that side of me (except my poor husband), he still doesn't think I have a drinking problem.

I've done this for me, to make sure that my drinking didn't become a problem enough to affect other parts of my life. It has been a good decision and although, I'm not out and about to much anymore, I've managed to now lose 15lbs, and am in the best shape of my life.

Anyway, I really appreciate all of you, your posts, you ability to ask for help when you need it and share your experiences. Most done without judgment!